Rosaria Champagne Butterfield - The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert

Praise for

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert

Dr. Butterfields story is honest, glorious, wise, and a punch in the gut.

Kirk Blankenship, boat14NC.wordpress.com

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I do not agree with everything she says; but I did learn from everything she wrote. It deserves the widest possible readership.

Dr. Carl Trueman, reformation21.org

Her book shows the power of love and hospitality to soften hearts.

Susan Olasky, World magazine

This is not the angry ranting of someone who has been wronged by the church. This is the loving instruction of a mother whose greatest desire is the spiritual maturity of her family.

Megan Hill, SundayWomen.com

Rarely have I finished reading a book and thought, "I want to buy a stack of these to hand out to people." But The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, is on that short list.

Sarah White, awonderfulprovidence.blogspot.com

a genuinely refreshing read by a woman who, it seems, states and sacrificially acts on her thoughtful and deeply-held convictions with characteristic boldness.

Jeremy Walker, reformation21.org

2012 by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield,

Crown & Covenant Publications

7408 Penn Avenue

Pittsburgh, Pa. 15208

crownandcovenant.com

reformedpresbyterian.org

Fifth printing

ISBN: 978-1-884527-38-8 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-884527-46-3 (ePub)

ISBN: 978-1-884527-47-0 (Kindle)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012933827

Printed in the United States of America

The publisher has abbreviated or altered several names in this book to protect the privacy of certain individuals.

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture references taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover and graphics by Ariana Davenport Stitzer. Text is set in Stemple Garamond and headers in Goodfish. Back cover photograph of Rosaria by Neil Boyd Photography, Raleigh, N.C.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Are you an evangelical? The voice on the phone pressed on. What do you believe about the Bible? I had written her a letter inquiring about how such as I, a local pastor, could be sure that the university students in our city at least knew what the Bible says, regardless of whether or not they believed it. As a professor in the English department, she was responding. But I was surprised by her questions. She was, a fact I learned later, interviewing me!

The questions and dialog on the phone continued for some time. It was friendly interchange; and with the next question I posed this response: Dr. Champagne, I think that question should be considered in front of our fireplace following one of my wifes good dinners. How does that sound? She enthusiastically responded. That sounds wonderful! And so began a friendship which my wife and I have treasured and regarded as a gift from God. It wasnt long before Rosaria was frequenting our table, always bringing something: cheese, freshly baked bread, and always an eager mind. What great conversations we had! As an English major in college, I relished these discussions with someone so cognizant of current authors. But much of our conversation related to the topics about which we had first spoken: the Bible, theology, and worldviews. She became very dear to us.

Well, thats my foreword. She picks it up from there in her own words. What follows is her story. From our early acquaintance, I recognized that our new friend feared no topic, spoke her mind in clear terms, and opened her heart as well as her thoughts. You will find that about her not only because thats the way she is, but also because that is who she is.

This word would not be complete without indicating that our church there in Syracuse had prayed for years for the university. Rosaria is one of Gods gracious answers!

Kenneth G. Smith

God, Why Pick Me?

W hen I was 28 years old, I boldly declared myself lesbian. I was at the finish of a PhD in English Literature and Cultural Studies. I was a teaching associate in one of the first and strongest Womens Studies Departments in the nation. I was being recruited by universities to take on faculty and administrative roles in advancing radical leftist ideologies. I genuinely believed that I was helping to make the world a better place.

At the age of 36, I was one of the few tenured women at a large research university, a rising administrator, and a community activist. I had become one of the tenured radicals. By all standards, I had made it. That same year, Christ claimed me for himself and the life that I had known and loved came to a humiliating end.

I am often asked to share my spiritual journey. People are interested to know what it is like to travel a long journey to Christ. I am not hesitant to oblige. How our lives bear the fruit of Christs spilled blood is important. The stories of our lives can serve to encourage and warn others. But telling the stories of our lives is heady business. How and why are our stories shared? Are they shared to bring attention to ourselves? To shock people? To entertain?

Are our testimonies honoring to the whole landscape of the Christian journey? Not if they only speak of the how-shocking-was-my-sin-before-I-met-the-Lord story. (As though the sin I commit today is less shocking!). Not if they only share the safe feelings, rehearsed responses, and good decisions for which we give ourselves unearned credit.

My Christian memoir divulges the secret thoughts of an unlikely convert like me. This book seeks to uncover the hidden landscape of the Christian life in its whole context, warts and all. Perhaps some of my unrehearsed thoughts will resonate with you. I often wonder: God, why pick me? I didnt ask to be a Christian convert. I didnt seek the Lord. Instead, I ran like the wind when I suspected someone would start peddling the gospel to me. I was intellectuallyand only intellectuallyinterested in matters of faith and I wanted to keep it that way. How did a smart cookie like me end up in a place like this?

In the pages that follow, I share what happened in my private world through what Christians politely call conversion. This wordconversionis simply too tame and too refined to capture the train wreck that I experienced in coming face-to-face with the Living God. I know of only one word to describe this time-released encounter: impact. Impact is, I believe, the space between the multiple car crash and the body count. I try, in the pages that follow, to relive the impact of God on my life.

I began this book in 2003. Although this book called me to look back, each page is indelibly inscribed by the joyful demands of my day-to-day life. My husband Kent sacrificially committed himself to helping me complete this project. Kents love, guidance, and support brought this book into light. Each chapter collided with a child placed into our family through adoption or foster care. And each chapter was punctuated by the absence of other children, those whom I came to know through desperate phone calls from the Department of Family Services; those whose needs or numbers exceeded our arms expanse. At each childs placement into our family, my mother and stepfather, Dolores and Theo Otis, gave me all of the support and encouragement that I would need. Im the only mother that I know whose own mother single-handedly threw a progressive baby shower for each baby or child. With each gift for a child, my Mom always slipped in something wonderful for me. (Rosaria, get your hair cut; get a pedicure; buy a new TV!). The grafting of my children into my family with Kent, and the grafting of my mother and stepfather into my present life, made it safe for me to take the long look back that the writing of this book required.