S RISHTI P UBLISHERS & D ISTRIBUTORS
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First published by
Srishti Publishers & Distributors in 2016
Copyright Neha Nayak, 2016
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This is a work of fiction. The characters, places, organisations and events described in this book are either a work of the authors imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, places, events, communities or organisations is purely coincidental.
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publishers.
To God, grandparents, parents, family, friends and my adorable pets - Thank you for giving me selfless love, guidance and care.
You all are my life and mean the world to me .
My inspirations
Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, Naveen Patnaik, Ratan Tata .
Bachendri Pal
I learn the sense of determination from her that no matter how tough and high the goal is, you have the power to achieve it if you think that you can .
Enid Blyton and Anant Pai whose books got me addicted to become an ardent reader and explore the world of stories .
Acknowledgements
I want to thank each and everyone who I have known and am yet to know only for your presence in my life, I have gathered memories and experiences, and I am what I am today.
To my mentors, idols, teachers for teaching me the elements of life and building me.
To my organisation for supporting and motivating me to achieve my goals and set further ones, because Improvement is a never-ending journey towards excellence.
To the world of writing I have a long way to go in learning, enriching, improving and contributing.
To the readers Thank you for picking the book. I will look forward to your feedback.
My debut book, like the first of anything, is and will be the most memorable and cherished. Thank you team Srishti Publishers for helping me achieve my dream of holding my first book.
A few amazing buddies who had a role in the accomplishment of the book Ankita, Saurav, Abhishek, Binodini, Kokila, Rahul, Chintu, Ritu, Ria, Sonu, Sneha, Rani, Appu, Vicky, Deepa, Gayatri, Arjun, Sidhant, Appu, Riky, Pallavi, Seema, Sony, Prabhjyot . Thank you and soon, I will again buzz you with my next ;)
CONTENTS
Prologue
A n year-and-a-half ago, I was like any contemporary young woman - having dreams to make it big, possessing the ardour to learn and developing myself to achieve those goals. My confidence was much talked about. In the beauty and fitness regime too, I wasn't behind. It took repeated turns for the gym instructor to come with a flushed face and say that I have worked enough. I was just like any girl in her twenties would be looking at the mirror multiple times in a day, dabbing make-up to look prettier, posting all those selected photos on the social websites, and pursuing my hobbies. I have a wonderful family and circle of friends who stood by me, no matter what. I had a life which one ought to have.
But soon, my world came scattering down. That was because of one wrong decision, followed by another right decision. It was just a call, but a crucial one which shattered me to the core.
I stood in the hustling and bustling Howrah station on a cold and still night in the midst of a milling crowd, as I awaited my destined train. Minutes ticked by and I saw the train approach like a majestic giant long, undefeatable, determined. Soon it halted with a loud screech. Momentary evil-ish suicidal thoughts crept in and tempted me to jump on the tracks and end it all, but a voice deep inside me echoed Im not a loser. Im not a fool. I love my life. My family and friends dont deserve this . Now I faced the hour of truth. It was now or later. It is often seen that when it comes to personal experiences, we have been tuned to procrastinate things. But I had no time to delay my decision.
I decided It was now . After all, they say, No one knows whats in store for us tomorrow, so live in the now. It is only now that is under your control. Tomorrow is dependent on what you choose today.
I boarded the train and found my path, sandwiched amongst the passengers trying to fight their way to the train door. As I climbed into the train, I gasped for breath and searched for my seat mentioned in the e-ticket flashing on the screen of my mobile. On reaching it, I shoved my rucksack on the seat, spread the moist bedsheet given by the railway staff, and lay down on it. Fluttering my eyes, I turned my head towards the window and wondered again whether I had made the right decision that of going away from him. Should I have given him a second chance? Could he have reformed? As such questions crept in, a sudden sporadic pang of guilt stormed and flashed through my shivering body. The train whistled and with the start of the train, my new life began too. I told myself when things are not in your control, its best to move on.
Through the window, I only saw darkness black, stubborn, directionless. Then suddenly, in the vastness of the dark night and tracts of land, I saw a small stretch of land lit up by shining bright sliver of the moon and a dangling lantern outside of a hut. Next to it was a cow standing in the midst of the barren land. If the cow had the strength to survive in such adversities, I could too. If the people in the hut could toil hard to keep themselves alive, I could as well.
I turned away from the window and looked at the other passengers travelling on the train. This is the real world everyone living with a purpose. Life is never stuck at one place and is never at a standstill. You choose to perish if you hook on to a still time-frame.
It was then that I told myself, Yes, I took the right decision. It had to be this way.
In the near past, I had been living my life in a limbo, without any goal or motive, just passing through time like a living cadaver. But now, I would live it my own way, moulding it the way I like.
As I swayed to the tune of the whistling chhuk chhuk train, I remembered my good old school days when I used to get so excited to board a train to begin my vacation. It had been a long time since I had travelled in a train. Recently, lounges at airports where Id wait for my flights were places Id frequent while travelling a result, both of Indias dynamic growth and my position as the sole daughter of an affluent businessman. Today, I had chosen the train journey, where my childhood had its roots and where memories had been made. I knew I could fly high only with my roots strong.
Nostalgia enveloped me. I missed my parents, Neena and Shakti Agnihotri. We were Marathi but our generations, long settled in West Bengal, made us more tuned towards the Bengali culture. I assumed that by now they would have found their twenty-four-year-old daughters adieu letter. I felt guilty, but I knew deep down that what I was doing was necessary for me for my inner calm, peace and strength.
