Bernadette Fisers - The little book of big happiness

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First published by Penguin Random House Australia 2018

Text copyright Bernadette Fisers 2018

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Cover design by Myrtle Jeffs

Illustrations by Leremy

Author photograph by Terence Langendoen

ISBN: 978-1-76014-429-6

penguin.com.au

One of the great purposes of life is to be happy. Some people say they search for happiness, others look for happiness and many others try to find happiness. I say stop chasing your tail its already here. Right here, right now. Its inside you you just need the tools to access it.

I realised that happiness is sitting patiently inside me waiting to bloom when I was driving down to visit my dad. I felt the sun on my shoulders, the music was playing and puffy white clouds were dancing about the blue sky. I thought, It really doesnt take much to make me feel good. I was thinking about how I alone create my own happiness.

Driving along, I thought how similar we all are, regardless of race, sex or religion, in what actually makes us feel happy and that happiness is not elusive, it is available to everyone . All around the world we hold the same ideas close. I dont need to be rich in financial gain, I can be wealthy in happiness and thats far more important to me.

I want to live every day of my life being the happiest version of myself possible. Fully taking in everything the world has to offer. I think many of us want those same feelings.

According to the World Happiness Report 2017, Australia is ranked joint ninth with the UK, and the USA is fourteenth out of 155 countries surveyed. Thats not bad, but possibly we could do better by just remembering a few simple ideas.

I know that I am responsible for my own happiness and that I need to look to myself first. So Ive written down what I try to remember every day that helps me. Ive put them in a clear and simple manner. Im confident that they can help you too.

We all have a fantasy idea of who we are. But sometimes it doesnt match up to the true reality. It can be surprising sometimes to hear how other people describe us, taking a few minutes to understand, Hang on, theyre talking about me.

I would love to think I am a talented athlete but that is pretty unlikely considering my highest sporting achievement was winning the under-nine shot-put event. Its a far cry from the tears, podium and national anthem.

How many of us know ourselves? Im not sure if describing myself would come anywhere close to how my friends would describe me. Probably not. Some of my friends would describe me as confident and tough but often enough I feel about as strong as a melted marshmallow. Most of us dont want to acknowledge our own possible faults; its far easier to gloss over them.

It takes years of learning to be objective about yourself and Im certainly no expert at it. Applaud your strengths and observe your weaknesses, notice where you could be doing better. Be kind to yourself.

If youre unsure of what your strengths and weaknesses may be, then ask your friends or family Im pretty sure they will be very happy to help you out.

Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with yourself on a regular basis and see where youre at. Honesty is key. Remember: no one is perfect. There is a feeling of acceptance that comes with this kind of knowledge, and that only increases my happiness.

I like to think of myself as calm under pressure. I do get told this by lots of friends and work colleagues. Its one of my strengths, and I like that I have this virtue. But I can also be impatient, and I recognise that too. Patience is something that I need to work on. Good or bad, its no big deal.

Like everyone else, Im still a work in progress.

Every day, we have choices: we can either think negatively about something or someone, or we can think positively. I always try to think positively its a conscious choice. I dont have the energy to be down in the dumps all day. I would rather be upbeat and happy. Being positive helps: it gives me more energy and simply makes me feel better.

Im certainly not saying that everything is awesome all the time... I just have slightly tinted rose-coloured glasses on most days Im not wearing a blindfold.

People want to be around positive people. Its exhausting dealing with constant negativity, so why do it to yourself and others?

To get in the habit of being positive, first try monitoring your thoughts for a day and put them in the negative or positive pile. You might be surprised at what a beating youre giving yourself. Becoming aware of what youre thinking is the first step to turning those negative thoughts around. So catch yourself. When your head is talking trash, change your outlook for example, instead of Im not important, its Im just as valuable as everyone else. Believe it because you are.