Alex Maunder - Wholebody Focusing: Neural Pathways to Prosperity, Health and Wisdom (Alexander Technique & Focusing based)

It is feels sohard for me to sit down and write this book. I imagine that some people have anaturally focused mind and are able to set clear time boundaries and just geton with it. Not me, I have been meaning to write this book for a long time, Ihave even set aside time in my summer holiday to do it, but I never seem to getaround to. I manage to write the book plan and a few chapters but the bookitself never gets completed. Until one day I wake up and realise - Imsuffering from writers block. I m supposed to be writing a book on Wholebodyfocusing and I cannot even get my act together! When I sit down to analyse thesituation I realise that its not just lack of willpower. It is not a questionof getting up earlier, getting more focused, drinking more tea or coffee andworking longer hours. Part of it is just a deep-seated belief pattern that Idon't have anything worth saying. There is a voice inside my head sayingyou're stupid, you don't have anything to say, other people have alreadywritten so much good stuff on this subject. It is the vicious internal criticat work, a part of my personality that keeps me feeling stuck and full of fearand for some reason it does not wish we to move forwards and to complete thisproject. I am curious about this part of me and I know that unless and until Iwork with reconciling and reintegrating this fearful and vulnerable part ofmyself all my efforts to write this book will be in vain. This inner critic isactually linked to a certain feeling in my body. Its a familiar feeling ofbeing ungrounded and slightly panicked, like all my thoughts are racing,chasing each other around in big circles in my head. I cannot seem to thinkclearly or get focused, and life feels slightly out of control.

So I retire to a quiet room towork on myself in a Wholebody focusing way. I know that this routine will takeabout 20 minutes of my time but that I will come away feeling immeasurably refreshedand revitalised. The whole day will be different, with a clearer mental focusand energy flow. At the end of the day more will get done and the quality ofthe work will have been higher than if I had just forced myself to work towardsmy goal, ignoring all the signs of resistance and the blocked energy flow in mymind and body. Paying attention to my body sensations will help me to definethe problem more clearly and Wholebody focusing will help me to transform thesituation.

Standing in a comfortableposition with the feet about shoulders distance apart, I start rocking gentlyfrom side to side in a kind of slow soothing rhythm that helps me to calm downand to get grounded. I say to myself Im putting all of that stuff on hold,everything that has been bugging me, Im not going to think of it at all forthe next 5 minutes until I am properly grounded and connected with my body.

Ineed to stop being so goal orientated and work with an inner understanding totransform the physical and emotional blockages first before I can get theenergy and the mental focus needed to write the book. Rather than fighting it,there has to be a befriending of the wounded part and I need to take some timeto understand its perspective. So firstly, I take time to focus on the physicalsensations of that whole thing about writing the book and what seems to needattention there. I feel that there is a contracting pressure in my head, Ifeet closed in on myself, a bit depressed. This part in my head feels painful andpressurised; it feels Im the bad one, this part wants to cut off and it thinks,whats the use of even trying? It seems that I just want to give up wheneverI encounter difficulties in life and then I feel depressed as a result of notachieving anything. Also I notice that my shoulders feel tensed and my chestfeels slightly collapsed inwards.

Partof me just wants to wallow in self-pity with the justification this is the wayits always going to be, no matter how hard I try I wont get what I want.Making room for that place, I can begin to feel the first stirrings ofcompassion for myself. So the first step is to have the courage to name what ishappening and not to be afraid to stay with that wounded part, howeverdifficult that may be.

SoI start a swaying motion with my whole body swaying from side to side as I amstanding with my feet wide apart and knees slightly bent. I can feel myconnection with gravity and that the whole of planet Earth is supporting me. Ikeep swaying for about 5 or 10 minutes, until I reach a place of stillness, aplace of calmness and place of grounded presence. From a still point of knowingthat I am grounded within myself, I use the next steps of this six-step techniqueof Wholebody focusing (that will be described in more detail later on in thisbook) to transform this issue. I open myself, through the power of awareness tothe greater potentialities that exist as my inner world connects with a senseof something bigger out there that is supporting me. I stop doing and Isimply start being.

Irealise that I will not be able to force myself to write this book, becausethere are parts of me that are resisting and blocking and they are just asstrong as the part that wants to write the book, so there is a stalemate. Ineed to understand this part of me in a compassionate way, what is it so afraidof? What is it that this part wants or doesnt want to happen?

Ibegin to get a sense of an inner wisdom inside of me that knows more than Ithink that I know at this point in time, that can get a bit of distance to thiswounded part and yet still stay in relationship with it. There is a sudden flashof intuition and I know that this part is reluctant to write the book becauseof a fear of what the critics might say. Some people are going to like it, andsome people are going to dislike it, and when I get critical feedback somethinginside me feels so hurt and vulnerable, that I just want to curl up and die. Itsbecause I cant stand up and defend myself and I hate confrontation. There is asudden wave of self-compassion, Oh, I understand why you feel this way sometimes!I decide to allow myself to hold both parts equally, the part that wants towrite the book and the part that is afraid of writing the book, and let themboth be there in total self compassion and without any judgments about relativeworth, as they both have something to say. Something inside says, Just trust,stop trying so hard and see what happens from a place of trust rather than fromthat frustrated act of trying to force things against an inner resistance thatseems equally powerful.

AsI reach a state of calmness and detached awareness several subtle bodily shiftsand releases begin to take place and my consciousness clarifies itself. As Imake the effort to hold the attention steady things begin to shift, my heartbegins to fill with a sense of the fullness of life, life is beautiful, myheart is uplifted, Im so glad to be alive when there is a sense of connectingto the larger life all around me, a sense of the vibrancy and aliveness ineverything.

Ialso feel something shift in the position of my head, as my head lifts itselfand I am suddenly looking forwards, seeing everything really clearly and insharp focus. My vision widens into peripheral vision as well, I can literallysee the larger perspective, like the landscape suddenly becomes more alive, andit becomes vibrant and seems bigger. I am aware that I am looking forwards tolife. I think to myself, Life is exciting, its full of possibilities.Instead of feeling defeated I feel pro-active and that I have an abundance ofenergy to make things happen. There was a tingling sensation within my whole body,which now feels expanded, and a sense of deep joy in my heart. I feel that Ihave regained a wonderful sense of spaciousness in my body; a lightness ofbeing, and in that space there is now room for a free flow of energy andintelligence. At the same time I shift into a more relaxed and confident mood,feeling alive and energised with a vibrant senseof self worth.