Matthew Emerzian - You Matter.: Learning to Love Who You Really Are

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TO MY WIFE, PATTY,

I LOVE YOU.

When Matt Emerzian asked me to write a foreword for You Matter ., I was thrilled because Im a raving fan of Matt. Hes a very special human being who cares about people and wants to make a difference in their lives. Matt rose up from being down and out, even contemplating suicide, to realize that he mattered and could make a difference in the world.

When you first see the title You Matter ., you might think the book is all about you. Not so! While it starts with you, Matts real goal is to help his readers create a life of purpose, meaning, and service. That last word is key: service . When you finally understand that you matter , as Matt emphasizes, your focus is no longer on yourself but on making a difference in the lives of others. That outlook is consistent with what I have found in working with and observing business leaders for more than forty years. Let me explain.

Ive met a lot of managers who are control freaks that think all the brains are in their office. They expect people to suck up to the hierarchy and follow orders. Why are they like that? Because their need to control is a way of overcompensating for not-okay feelings about themselves. They are scared little kids inside who dont have a clue that they really matter .

On the other hand, great managers generate great loyalty and produce great results. They are comfortable serving others rather than being served. Why are they like that? Because as servant leaders, they realize that being an effective leader is not about them, its about the people they serve. They feel good about themselvesin Matts terms, they understand that they matter .

Matt has made a career out of helping people understand that they matter. Thats why I invited him to speak at both our company-wide and customer-wide conferences. And boy, did he make a difference!

Read You Matter. and absorb the important thinking of Matt Emerzian. Once you understand that you matter, you can create a culture in your home, your organization, and your community where everyone understands that they matter, too.

Thanks, Matt, for helping me realize that I matter and we matter. And I certainly know that you matter!

Its not about you.

These are the first four words from one of the best-selling books of all time.

They remind us that in order to discover what most stirs our heart, ignites our passion, and elevates our lives, we must begin with the surprising truth that its just not about us. It turns out that to gain the best of our lives we must let go of the reigns believing that its all about what we want for our lives.

Matt Emerzian understands this. He teaches this. Because he lived this.

Upon graduating from UCLA with his MBA, Matt got his dream job. Hired as a senior vice president at a major music marketing company, he worked directly with and on projects for some of the biggest celebrities in the world. Matt was successful, hung out with the biggest names in music and showbiz, and was invited to the most exclusive parties.

He was on top of the world and had it all. Yet felt as if he was at the bottom of it where very little of it actually even mattered.

Seeking greater meaning, Matt discovered that all of the success, the parties, and the fame did nothing to fill a gaping hole in his life. He remained unhappy, unfulfilled, and became clinically depressed.

After numerous counseling sessions, he was given a simple book to read to improve his spirits. The first four words surprised him: Its not about you.

This was a viewpoint an athletic, handsome, successful but discontented Hollywood guy never even considered. Up until that point, candidly, it was all about him.

Matt pivoted and began volunteering. He sought opportunities to serve pursuing occasions to find the value within others and encourage them to see it within themselves. He inspired others to recognize that they had value, that they were deserving of love and respect, that they mattered.

Gradually, something dramatic happened within how he viewed his life. Matt began to appreciate his own unique gifts, he embraced his own self-worth and he finally recognized the profound blessings within his life. He came to know that he truly mattered.

In the book, You Matter.: Learning to Love Who You Really Are, Matt Emerzian shares a beautiful and simple construct you can leverage to improve your relationships, your professional journey, and your personal life. He shares the mighty disconnect between striving for temporary success and obtaining true significance. He unpacks the great difference between pursuing what is fleetingly valuable rather than obtaining and celebrating the priceless.

Have you ever wondered, Do I truly matter? Have you ever sought to make a difference, impact other lives? Have you ever desired to unlock greater meaning, purpose, and passion in your life?

Reading this book will remind you that you are not alone asking these questions and will inspire you to undeniably answer them with certainty that You Matter . Through that belief youll learn to love who you really are and embrace the calling of your life.

And with love as fuel youll have not only the courage to act on that calling, but the assurance that those lucky enough to encounter you may know for certain that they matter, too.

This book is an awesome reminder that You Matter.

Now its time to act like it.

Do you feel things deeply?

If you are like me, you are a very sensitive person. Sometimes I think its a curse. For many very dark years, it felt like a bad one. But today I see it differently. I see it as a badge of honor, because I now know what it feels like to be human, and it allows me to see and feel things in other people that I never felt before. No, I am not an energy healer or a psychic or anything like that. But I am someone who has felt deep brokenness, anxiety, and depression. I am someone who has run the gamut of Life is good to Life is horrible and hard to Wow, this is what life is about? This is better than I could have imagined.

For the past ten years, I have traveled the country sharing my story on stages in front of fifty to five thousand people. I have spoken to students, educators, employees, executives, criminals, veterans, victims of domestic violence, churchgoers, volunteers, influencers, and TED goers, and my message didnt change. I believe that we humans are all the same: we want to feel loved, know that our life has purpose and meaning, be seen and heard, have gifts to offer the world, be worthy and enough, have our words and actions be meaningful, and know we are special. The challenge is that many of us dont feel this way. I know, because I was one of them. But I also know that all of us can and we will.

In this book, Ill tell you some of my story in the introduction, so you know where Im coming from. And then in parts 1, 2, and 3 we will together dive into the ideas and steps it takes to know your worth and the value of your life. Ill share some stories from my life and the lives of those Ive met over the years.