Tori Amos - Resistance: A Songwriters Story of Hope, Change, and Courage

Also by Tori Amos

Tori Amos: Piece by Piece (written with Ann Powers)

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Interior design by Jason Snyder

Jacket design by David A. Gee

Author photo by Des Willie

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.

ISBN 978-1-9821-0415-3

ISBN 978-1-9821-0417-7 (ebook)

For Mary Ellen Copeland Amos 19292019

I HAVE A SCULPTURE in my New York apartment called Defiance. Its of a woman; shes turquoise, and her hair is flying.

Being in opposition to something is to be in a position of power. Its not simply reactionary. Defiance can be active and can be the genesis of something. You dont want to play the victim. You want to have conviction.

Because make no mistake: we are living in a moment of crisis. Of unprecedented crises.

It seems that in every possible sphere, we are all confronting dark forces that aim to divide us as a world, as countries, as people, as artists, as creators. Its not just the political sphereeverything has become inherently political. From the Oval Office, Parliament, and the Kremlin to recording studios and the labels that staff them, to schools and conservatories, city halls and main streets, the oceans and their shores, we are seeing how those who wish to control us are all too happy to take advantage of any opportunity that would diminish our goals of liberty, freedom, artistic expression, and conservation of nature.

As someone who has been in the music industry for the better part of forty years, who has traveled to and performed for varied and diverse audiences, I have had the privilege of hearing the stories of people from all over the world, and this perspective has given me a sense of how dire things have become. But it has also given me a stronger sense of resistance, of fighting back, of how we might find deep within ourselves the capacity not just for resilience but for healing and for emerging victorious from this most trying of times. And it has illuminated to me how vital the role of the artist is within a society. It has, in a way, revealed to me how hallowed the space an artist inhabits truly isand how crucial it is that we protect that space with intelligence and passion.

What follows in this book is my journey to engage, examine, and then reassess the artists role in society and, by doing so, to create a way forward for us as we commit to resist those dark forces that would wish to subjugate us instead of lifting us up and giving a voice to the best in us. It is a mission to reckon with how the current moment is truly one of Now or Never. It is a mission to recognize the power of the Muses and the strongest of our creative impulses so that we may transform this moment of crisis into a future of promise.

Join me on the path of resistanceof the art that will set us free.

Sights and Sounds

pull me back down another year

I WAS HERE

I WAS HERE

Whipping past

the reflecting pool

me and you

skipping school

and we make it up

as we go along

we make it up as we go along

You said

you raced from Langley

pulling me underneath

a Cherry Blossom

canopy

DO I HAVE

ofcourse I have,

beneath my raincoat,

I have your photographs.

and the sun on your face

Im freezing that frame

and somewhere Alfie cries

and says

Enjoy his every smile

you can see in the dark

through the eyes ofLaura Mars

How did it go so fast

youll say

as we are looking back

and then well

understand

we held Gold Dust in our hands

Sights and Sounds

pull me back down another year

I WAS HERE

I WAS HERE

Gaslights

glow in the street

Twilight held us

in her palm

as we walked along

and we make it up

as we go along

we make it up as we go along

letting names

hang in the air

what color hair

Autumn knowingly

stared

and the day that

she came

Im freezing that frame

Im freezing

that frame

and somewhere Alfie smiles

and says

Enjoy her every cry

you can see in the dark

through the eyes ofLaura Mars

how did it go so fast

Youll say

as we are looking back

and then well understand

we held Gold Dust

in our hands

in our hands

in our hands

GOLD DUST USUALLY TRANSPORTS me to Washington, D.C. The song references different decades:

The 60s, when Alfie the film was released; the decade I was born in.

The 70s, when I was skipping school and playing piano in D.C. bars and congressional parties during a Democratic administration.

The 80s, when I was still playing piano bars but now three blocks from the White House during a Republican administration.

The 90s through to the present, with the song revealing different snapshots of time as I played concerts in D.C. through two administrations, during peacetime and wartime.

Gold Dust began when I was pregnant with my daughter, Tash, in the year 2000. The song was written about twenty years after I was in my teens, a time when I was evolving from a girl into a young woman playing hotel lounges a few blocks from the White House. But it took eighteen years after the song was written, on Tashs eighteenth birthday, for me to really see the many snapshots tethered to itand what they want to activate in my life right now.

Before my eyes in real time, as I watched Tash emerge as a young woman, the memories of the day eighteen years before became very clear. It had been a tough couple of months leading up to that day in September 2000. Because of medical issues I was having, we were advised to leave our home in Florida and relocate to D.C. for a few months. As I had a high-risk pregnancy, I had to respect the doctors opinion. So the seeds for Gold Dust were planted before Tash and I had even left our home. To get us from Florida to D.C., the song acted as a portal, and my teenage self became my guide.