Alban - Mirrors of my soul: a collection of lifes poetry

Mirrors
of my
Soul

A Collection of
Lifes Poetry

ELLEN ALBAN

Copyright 2005 Ellen Alban.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
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recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

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ISBN 1-4120-4375-1

This book is printed on acid free paper.
Cover Design and Page Layout by Bonnie Toews
Edited by Ellen Beck

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Contents

Prayer for the Millennium

To all the dear women assembled here tonight

My hope is that my prayer is a candle burning bright

To simply wish for health, happiness and peace

Is certainly part of my prayer

But we all need much more

So that with true hearts and souls

We will the new millennium explore

Our strength in adversity

Open arms to the needy

Loving ourselves richly

As we all deserve

Loving others with sincerity

As is their need

Reaching out to ease pain

Healing ancient rifts

Teaching our children and grandchildren

The priceless value of commitment

Learning to accept the inevitability of change

Aging gracefully with acceptance and wisdom

Imparting our knowledge to those willing to learn

Inspiring others through stories of our life experience

When called bearing the inevitable with grace

Leaving our legacy of love

To those dear ones who remain

These, my dear ladies, are my prayers for the Millennium.

ELLEN ALBAN

Dedication

This collection of lifes poetry
is dedicated to my
dear family and friends,
and to all who are
living with
Parkinsons Disease

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease. I
had been living on overdrive for many years, as had so
many newly liberated women of the late sixties. I had a
teaching position at a local high school and a young family.
Those years were busy, but nothing like what would later
transpire.

At age thirty-three, I became responsible for helping three
elderly members of my family. Over the next fifteen years,
my grandmother, my mother and my stepmother all needed
me to assist them in many ways. By the time I reached
forty-eight, they had all passed on. It seemed as if I would
now have a modicum of spare time. But almost
immediately a new challenge presented itself.

On a weekend getaway, our friend Earl Dobkin, a family
physician in Toronto, noticed a slight tremor in my right
hand. He suggested to my husband that I see a neurologist
as soon as possible. Could this happen to me at what
seemed to be such a young age? Yes, of course it could.
And it did. I accepted the news calmly. After all, I had been
through so much already. I would have to deal with this
new challenge one day at a time. Eight years later, that is
exactly what I am still doing.

At the time of my diagnosis, I realized that I would have to
de-stress my life as expeditiously as possible and face the
fact that my teaching days were numbered. In February
1996, I took a leave of absence for six weeks, thinking that
I might rest and soon return. But I never have.

Instead, I resolved to begin looking at my life in a different
way and to try things I previously thought were impossible.
I began with beading necklaces, bracelets and eyeglass
chains, and then tried my hand at watercolor, a medium
that doesnt seem to care if the painters brush is being held
by a tremoring hand. Each hobby was so enjoyable that I
found myself immersed for days at a time in one and then
the other. I recommend each of these to all who wish to
awaken their artistic side. But there was much more to
come.

One day I decided to purchase a pretty spiral notebook and
begin to write a journal. Instead of writing about my days, I
began to write poems, poems and still more poems. Over
the next three months, I filled six spiral notebooks with
many poems that described my life, my experiences and my
feelings.

It became imperative to learn how to use the computer, and
although I am far from being an expert, I use my computer
daily.

Poems began accumulating at an astounding rate. No
subject was off limits. From talking pasta pots to headless
mannequins, to ladies who lunch, anything was and is
possible in my work.

The more I write, the more I become a student of life and
the human condition. With each experience I feel deeply,
inhale the positives and expunge the negatives. In all, I
know that I am continuously evolving and I take great joy
in that knowledge.

Why does someone like me decide to reveal her thoughts,
feelings and viewpoint to the world? Perhaps to make
others think about their own vision, to leave a legacy for
my friends and family, or even to inspire others to think
that they, too, are capable of much more than they can
imagine. Or perhaps this desire has always been buried so
deeply that it took these many years to discover and take
the risk of exposing my word paintings to the scrutiny of
other eyes, hearts and minds.

I would like to thank everyone who helped and encouraged
me in my endeavor. My friends, my family, and most
especially Bonnie Toews and Susan Pearl, who made me
feel that I could inspire others, and that I should do so.

Sections of this book are divided into themes as reflections
of the soul on various topics of relevance to understanding
nature, life, people, relationships, and the nature of the
creative process. Did I ever believe that I could write these
words? No. But with Bonnies inspiration, all is possible
became a mantra for my life.

Thank you everyone, for taking the time to read, to reflect,
to remember and to rejoice in the knowledge that we are
not alone on our journey through life, but are accompanied
by challenge, struggle and hopefully triumph.

To poetry and to Life!

ELLEN

REFLECTIONS
ON
THE SOUL

Soul Connection

My soul is a mystery masked inside
I know it exists but it loves to hide
It only appears when I sleep or rest
When are my soul and I
Going to discuss for us whats best?

Perhaps I must wait patiently