Our stories are three, yet one.
From my heart to yours, eternally bonded.
Foreword
Until now, few books have articulately expressed a grounded, holistic, nuanced, intellectually honest and loving approach to sexuality. Debra places this conversation in its proper place, moving us away from the gay issue to properly deal with the broader questions it raises around our sexuality, intimacy and the churchs role in sustaining relationships.
Debra explicitly shares her personal journey. Writing in a nonprescriptive and nonjudgmental way, Debra rouses our curiosity to consider a deeper way to think about our sexuality. In a culture obsessed with sexual expression, orientations and gender identity, she helps properly order the role these things should play in our lives.
Debras humility and candor make this topic approachable, even fun. I dont know that Ive read a book with more appropriate references to orgasm, with raw honesty about our sexual appetites and their relationship to our spirituality. At first you might feel awkward, but then youll find it refreshing.
But more than Debras authentic writing style, her curation of knowledge and depth of experience on the topics at hand are a godsend in our age. We couldnt have a better guide than Debra Hirsch leading us forward.
Conversations about sexuality can feel risky. Reflecting on the dynamics at play, I picture a treacherous path winding up the face of a rocky, stone-faced cliff. Our self-preserving questions and a fear of the unknown may hold us back. We wonder
What if I take the wrong step?
What if this costs me my reputation?
What if I fail?
These questions and fears understandably keep many people flat-footed on the ground. Weve watched the casualties of those who dared to go before us. Weve learned from their mistakes that every step matters, placing our grip on the wrong protruding rock can result in utter devastation, and the risks are enormous. Though the path is narrow, deep down we know its one we must ascend. Faithfulness demands we engage the issue of our day with the weight and seriousness it requires.
While some tire of the conversation, I urge you to press on. We sit at the beginning of a moment that will not soon go away. Make no mistake, you will be asked the question. And because you invested the time to read this book, your answer will be full of grace, mercy, truth and claritysomething your friends and family long for, but few have found. I pray you find it in the pages of this book.
Gabe Lyons
Introduction
Foreplay
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
George was my drug dealer. He was also the sound engineer in a band I hung out with. All in all he was a pretty wild character who in his calmer moments saw himself as a seeker, a philosopher of sorts, in that he would get stoned, stare at the stars, and get all deep and spiritual.
I didnt take Georges seeking all that seriously given that his pursuit of truth didnt extend to his drug dealing or ripping off his friends. George got picked up by the police for a stack of unpaid parking fines and was sentenced to two weeks in the local jail. Keeping on with his quest for truth (and to quell some of the boredom), he took along his mothers big Greek Orthodox family Bible. I cant imagine what the police thought when he walked in with it. It probably weighed ten pounds.
You know what happens next. George begins reading that big Bible and the Holy Spirit falls on him. He is born again right there in the local lockup!
When the police released George ten days later, he was bursting at the seamsready to tell the world about his newfound faith. His brother John picked him up from jail and gave his life to Christ before they even arrived home.
The two then banded together, Bibles under one arm and a copy of Hal Lindseys The Late Great Planet Earth under the other (it was the 1980s after all!), and went out in hot pursuit of new converts. They compiled a list of all the people they sold drugs to and called it their evangelistic hit list. They would pray for each person and then catch up with them to tell them about Jesus. I was on this hit list, as were a number of my friends, including my sister Sharon and dearest friend Mark, the two to whom this book is dedicated.
My journey of faith didnt actually begin when George shared the gospel with me; God had been working my case for a long time. I just hadnt realized it. Like George, I was a seeker, and in the weeks before coming to Jesus I had sensed something was in the wind. I kept telling my friend Jason that my answer was just around the corner. He thought I was taking too many drugs, and maybe I was. But I was expectant, never thinking for a moment that my answer, like Georges, would also be Jesus.
When Jesus came into my life everything changed. All those old clichs you hearbeing lost and then found, being blind and then seeingapplied to me. I encountered God in such a dramatic way that I knew my life would never be the same. Within a very short time both Sharon and Mark also gave their lives to Jesus. The three of us were living with a bunch of others in a big community house, and were living and identifying as gay.