Alfa - Abandoned breaths: poems

A bandoned Breaths A bandoned Breaths Poetry, Quotes, and Poetic Prose A L F A Abandoned Breaths Copyright 2016 by Alfa Published by AlfaWorldwide First Edition This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form, whatsoever. Editor: Christina Strigas www.alfapoet.com www.facebook.com/alfawrites www.instagram.com/alfa.poet Twitter: @alfa_poet

www.gopublished.com ISBN: 978-0-9980503-0-0 This book is dedicated to the four greatest accomplishments of my life. I love you all. Mom When I finally exhaled, releasing pent-up breaths, the pain and resentment tore out of my seams like baby birds springing from their nests and my soul s o a r e d. I love you all. Mom When I finally exhaled, releasing pent-up breaths, the pain and resentment tore out of my seams like baby birds springing from their nests and my soul s o a r e d.

Contents Squall Monsoon 35 Zephyr 79 Exhalation 127

Squall S Q U A L L I have never been able to understand how losing someone can make you feel so full of longing that your chest risks exploding with every forced breath. Losing should mean gone or taken away,empty. But instead, every pulse in my body incessantly screams his name. The past strangles me at night. It comes blanketed in remorse. Hands of regret crushing my spirit.

Waves of nostalgia knocking the wind from a chest that is much too full of heirlooms and knick-knacks. Memories of me and you. ~ Losing 4 AbandonedBreaths I believe the pain we experience with endings is a tool. We can either use it to rebuild, or to tear ourselves apart, gnash by gnash. I choose to re-purpose the unhinged parts of my soul. rusty and antiqued. rusty and antiqued.

I battled for them. Good versus evil. Me against myself. I may look a little old and worn. But, my God run your fingers over my ridges. Feel my spirit pulse.

You will find character, resilience, and fortitude. ~Vintage S Q U A L L I do not want to change you. Your sadness does not scare me. If anything, it highlights the fact that you are real, and you feel things deep enough, until they escape your heart and show in your eyes, and I so desperately want you to feel me that way. ~I never wanted to change him. 6 AbandonedBreaths All he did was breathe life into my soul.

I was a conquest. An easy one, and you dont know how badly it hurts to know that I was used and tried for a time. Then thrown back. ~ Conquest S Q U A L L He never really had a chance. My perception of relationships has always been viewed through the rose-colored glasses my father shattered the day he left. ~ awol 8 AbandonedBreaths He was a window shopper, and that is a fine way to spend a relaxing Saturday afternoon, but my heart was tired of being peeked at. ~ awol 8 AbandonedBreaths He was a window shopper, and that is a fine way to spend a relaxing Saturday afternoon, but my heart was tired of being peeked at.

It didnt want to be the reason for buyers regret, it wanted to be the reason. All his reasons. ~Window Shopping S Q U A L L You think the pain goes away? It does not. It is always there, lurking. It is powerful because it has been forged by your tears. It feeds off your memories.

It is waiting until it sees you dancing in happiness before it tries to cut in for a waltz. Do not deny it. Give it a turn around your hearts dance floor. You are stronger now you can handle the beat. Hold it close. Remember the agony.

Kiss it on the cheek, and kiss it goodbye. ~Goodbye Dance 10 AbandonedBreaths There are days I want to dip my soul in memories and just soak. Then there are others that I am p r a y i n g they will all be washed away. ~Memory Bath S Q U A L L He has wanderlust in his veins. His heart is always seeking, filling up on the next adventure. ~Visceral 12 AbandonedBreaths He dipped his hands into my soul, and finger-painted hopes and dreams, and fears and strengths, into a work of art. ~Visceral 12 AbandonedBreaths He dipped his hands into my soul, and finger-painted hopes and dreams, and fears and strengths, into a work of art.

So now it hangs in a time suspended display, signed by a masterful talent seeking the right home. ~Artist S Q U A L L You have lived in the dark for so long that you have forgotten, a soul needs light in order to grow. ~Nocturnal 14 AbandonedBreaths I was spoon-fed fairytales and rocked on knees of selfless love from birth. Imagine my surprise when I had to learn the hard way that the world wont love you like that. So, you grow up you face reality, and every beat of your heart asks to go home. ~Fairytales S Q U A L L It is in the constant murmur the echoes of never again the hum of betrayal.

Vibrations so intense they hold hands with my heartbeat. It is in the insistent aching that you feel pain pin-pricking your spine, more so than the air filling your lungs. Betrayal is the emptiness you feel, when you analyze the gaps that your heart stumbles over. It pauses - skips a beat, and with every silent interval, the memories flood and the gaps widen and betrayal hums. ~ When he gave me no choice but to walk I ran. to catch a scent on a sun-dappled spring day that reminds him of you and you want it to cut him in half. to catch a scent on a sun-dappled spring day that reminds him of you and you want it to cut him in half.

Bring him eye to eye with his weak knees, with a machete to the heart. You want him to ache, like you have done all winter. You want him to endure what the absence of you feels like, and you want it to last for every minute hereafter because you are not someone who is easily gotten over. And you want him to miss you. S Q U A L L And my soul spoke to me one day. I heard her voice loud and clear, firm, and full of love.

You question your strength and I stand by and watch in awe as you carry that heavy heart around. ~Weightlifter 18 AbandonedBreaths She wants you to see things she has never shown you. She hopes you hear things she has never said. She aches for you to spoon her heart outside of your bed. ~Observation S Q U A L L My mind is strong. A steel trap.

I have conditioned myself to let nothing escape its confines. I harbor a soul filled with eons worth of strength, forged and scribed by the Universe. I am a celestial wonder, an endurance hurdler. But when he touches me, moves in close skimming my world with a gentleness I have never encountered before, I feel a calming need to be still, to quit flaying my insecurities or trying to prove my worth. I want the softness, I need the quiet. ~Surreal 20 AbandonedBreaths How do you explain the absence of a person to your soul? How do you break the news that it may never be whole again? ~Empty S Q U A L L The line between love and hate is never as faint as when someone chooses to leave you. ~Miniscule 22

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