Fodor - Desperately seeking self: an inner guidebook for people with eating problems

1997 by Viola Fodor

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form without written permission, except for brief passages quoted for review purposes.

Published by: Grze Books; PO Box 2238; Carlsbad, CA 92018; 760/434-7533

Cover design: Abacus Graphics, Oceanside, CA

Cover artwork Women in Tight Spaces, an etching by Sa Boothroyd.

Author photograph courtesy of Graham Paine, The Canadian Champion.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint from their copyrighted materials:

Figures on pages 37 and 38 reprinted with permission from the copyright holder, The Creative Education Foundation, 1050 Union Road, Buffalo, NY 14224, from the Creative Behavior Workbook by Sidney J. Parnes.

About School from Jack Canfield and Harold C. Wells, 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept in the Classroom. Copyright 1979 by Allyn and Bacon. Reprinted by permission.

Library of Congress CIP Data

Fodor, Viola, 1949

Desperately seeking self : a guidebook for people with eating problems / by Viola Fodor.

p. cm.

ISBN 0-936077-28-X (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. Eating disorders-Popular works. 2. Eating disordersPatientsReligious life. 3. MeditationTherapeutic use.

I.Title.

RC552.E18F63 1997

The author and publisher of this book intend for this publication to provide accurate information. It is sold with the understanding that it is meant to complement, not substitute for, professional medical and/or psychological services.

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Desperately
Seeking Self

This book is dedicated to all individuals
who are desperately seeking
to make sense of their eating behaviors
in the hope that somehow healing is possible.

In many ways, this page has been the most difficult one to write. I cannot begin to express my thanks and gratitude to everyone who has helped in the creation of this book.

Violet and Sajid Aziz, Sarah Mitchell, and Pamela Tames shared my vision. I could not have written Desperately Seeking Self without their encouragement and valuable editorial contributions.

Sa Boothroyd provided the riveting artwork for the cover. Women in Tight Spaces captures the torment, confusion, and helplessness experienced every day by those who struggle with eating disorders.

Wendy Barber, Bonnie Evoy, Noelle Ferraro, Kevin Fitzsimons, Erin Harvey, Janet Lovegrove, John Lynch, Christel OShea, Elaine Sigurdson, Anne Van Burek, and Julian Van Gorder read the manuscript in progress, helping to refine its message.

Frank and Violet Fodor, Elizabeth and John Hum, Tom Thomas, Sonia Kondrat, and Karen and Vernon Zelmer were among the other special people who believed in this project right from the beginning.

Id especially like to thank my publishers, Lindsey Hall and Leigh Cohn, who love the book as much as I do and who have made a special place for it.

Many other wonderful people have contributed to this project in ways they may not even realize. They have enriched my life and supported me in my work. I hope that they know of my gratitude.

If dis-ease is... a mirror of consciousness, then to fight dis-ease is to fight ourselves; to flee from dis-ease is to flee from ourselves; to succumb is to give up ourselves. The process of healing... begins not as a battle but as an opportunity to gain the awareness needed for physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth and integration.

Vivian King

Desperately Seeking Self is an invitation to healinga passionate and compassionate call to you, if you seek freedom from your eating problem. If you are prepared to embark on a journey of self-discovery, it will help you begin to understand and experience the intricacies of self-healing in such a way that you can consciously apply them to your life on all levels. You will gain relief and freedom from your eating problem as you learn how to live more fully, with greater peace of mind and well-being.

I will introduce you to the healing process that has worked not only for me, but for countless people with whom I have worked over the past fifteen years. To help to make this content personally relevant to you, I have chosen a dialogue format to convey its essencea conversation with a woman who has bulimia. The woman is a composite of my clients. In many ways, she resembles me many years ago!

You need not have bulimia to relate to this woman because she speaks in a way and describes a life experience that will resonate within, no matter what form your eating problem takes. If you struggle with compulsive eating, you will recognize yourself in her words even though you do not resort to purging. If you have anorexia, you can easily substitute restricting, starving, or not eating for many of her references to eating or bingeing.

As you read A Conversation, you will discover that you have a great deal in common with others who struggle with a dark side of themselves and seek understanding and inner freedom. You will find reason to move beyond narrow definitions of who you are to one that encompasses your deepest level of being. Your true nature in its unadulterated form is the most precious resource that you have to help yourself.

There are ways in which you can become sensitive to this level in you. In particular, the daily practice of inner silence is a powerful way to nurture your true self and your full healing capacity. Because taking time out for yourself is so important, I have included a section called Quiet Time to help you to begin.

Although Desperately Seeking Self has few distinct divisions, you may require breaks. Take them when you need them or where they occur naturally for you. I would also like to recommend that you treat this book as a kind of healing reference to come back to again and again. You will find that as your awareness grows, you will read differently, understanding the subtle nuances of this process as never before.

The ideas presented here are not original. They arise from a perennial wisdom that transcends the ages and makes itself known in the lives of people who stop and listen to their hearts. Often, these inner truths surface when we least expect themin our darkest hours, at a time when only spiritual comfort, guidance, and inspiration can have any meaning to us. If you embark on a journey inward, you will experience these truths for yourself. Even beyond that, as you find it within to stay true to your highest spiritual ideals, you will not only heal yourself, but find your place in the greater picture of humanity.