Black - A hole in the sidewalk: the recovering persons guide to relapse prevention

A Hole in the Sidewalk

A Hole in the
Sidewalk

THE RECOVERING
PERSONS GUIDE TO
RELAPSE PREVENTION

Claudia Black

Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics.

For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.

2018 by Central Recovery Press, LLC

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

Publisher: Central Recovery Press

3321 N. Buffalo Drive

Las Vegas, NV 89129

23 22 21 20 19 181 2 3 4 5

ISBN: 978-1-942094-73-9 (paper)

978-1-942094-74-6 (e-book)

Photo of Claudia Black by Winifred Whitfield. Used with permission.

Every attempt has been made to contact copyright holders. If copyright holders have not been properly acknowledged please contact us. Central Recovery Press will be happy to rectify the omission in future printings of this book.

Publishers Note: This book contains general information addiction and relapse prevention. The information is not medical advice and represents reference material only. This book is not a replacement for treatment from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.

Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, the names of some of the people, places, and institutions in this book may have been changed.

Cover and interior design by Deb Tremper, Six Penny Graphics

In honor of my friends and clients who have struggled to recover from addiction.

For many, the problem has been alcohol and other drugs; for others, gambling, food, sex, love and relationships, spending, or work. While the substance or behavior may differ, the process of the active addiction is very much the same, and relapse is common. I offer this work with respect for the insidiousness of the disease of addiction, the miracle of recovery, and the need for action.

A special thank you to Charlie Walker, Sandi Klein, and Jack Fahey. You have worked with me and supported me throughout this endeavor.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost I am helpless.

It isnt my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I dont see it.

I fall in again.

I cant believe I am in the same place but it isnt my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in its a habit.

My eyes are open. I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Table of Contents

Preface

In nearly forty years of work in the field of addiction, I have had the honor of witnessing thousands of men and women of every age recover. Many are fortunate to remain abstinent from their first day of recovery, but there are those who relapse after several weeks, several months, or even after years of abstinence. While I have met people who have relapsed at each phase, one of my most vivid memories was of a man who had been abstinent from alcohol for thirty years. Within just three days of starting to drink again, he became so physically sick that he needed to be hospitalized. Moreover, he was as spiritually and emotionally bankrupt as he had been when he first quit three decades before. Many people die in relapse, others relapse repeatedly and chronically. Then, there are many others who relapse and return to a program of recovery and achieve continuous abstinence.

While the most prevalent form of addiction relates to alcohol and other drugs, this workbook can be utilized for a wide range of addictive disordersfrom nicotine to sex, work, spending, gambling, food, and relationships. The universal component in relapse is the resumption of self-destructive behaviors. Being an addict means one is prone to relapse. To assume or simply hope it will not occur is evidence of denial. Addiction is a disease of isolation and recovery begins with connecting to others who can help you understand addiction, offer a path for recovery, and provide hope. Recovery is also about being accountable and taking action. Picking up this book is a statement that you take your addiction seriously and want to be proactive against a possible relapse. Whether or not you have a history of relapse, this book can be a major asset.

It is my hope that you are already involved in a recovery process. The single greatest contributor to relapse is losing sight of recovery as the first priority. Without recovery, everything your hold dear will be jeopardized: your health, your family, your job, your relationship with your Higher Power, and perhaps your life. If you are not involved in a recovery process, then please seek out resources in your community that can give you information as to what is available to you.

This book is not a substitute for a program of recovery. This book is an additional resource to help support your recovery.

Because people relapse at different phases in their recovery and for very different reasons, I have chosen to address a range of issues that are often overlooked or need to be reinforced. Most people will start A Hole in the Sidewalk from the beginning. If you choose, after you have completed the first section Getting Started: A Look over Your Shoulder, you can skip to the subjects that you identify to be a priority. Please do not limit your responses to the numbers or lines offered. You may find it helpful to use a journal or a separate notebook. I encourage you to share what you learn about yourself with a counselor, therapist, sponsor, or recovering friend.

Depending on the form of addiction, the language that signifies recovery includes words such as clean and sober, abstinence, sobriety, etc. To be inclusive of all possible manifestations of addiction, I have chosen to use the word recovery. I ask you to identify those behaviors that represent relapse, as well as recovery, for yourself.

Each section offers additional tools for your recovery. Knowledge about addiction and recovery is a tool in itself. To remind you of this, at the close of each section there is a toolbox icon. The more tools you gather and use, the stronger your recovery will be. A powerful recovery tool is to acknowledge why you are grateful for each day, so each section concludes with an opportunity to identify what you are grateful for, as well as to reflect on the exercises you have completed. In recovery, we often talk about the need to live one day at a time.

Recovery is a giftthat is why it is called the present. It is my hope that the moment for reflection will be something you include in your daily practice.

You will see I have a bias toward twelve-step recovery. No other singular resource has been so instrumental in helping great numbers of people recover from addiction in all its forms. If you choose not to utilize twelve-step programs, you will still find this book helpful. I strongly encourage you to take a look at your resistance and try to be more open or actively seek another avenue to support you in recovery. I know of no other life-threatening illness that is as treatable as addiction. At the back of the book you will find contact information for many programs and resources.