MANIPULATION AND DARK PSYCHOLOGY
HOW TO LEARN SPEED READING PEOPLE AND USE THE SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. THE BEST GUIDE TO DEFEND YOURSELF FROM DARK PSYCHOLOGY.
DAVID GREEN
Table of Contents
Introduction
The art of manipulation is not really about influencing people into doing what you want them to. Instead, it is about getting them to want to do what you want them to do. The most important question here is, how do you get people to want to do what you want them to do?
Well, the first trick is to learn their true desires and then reverse engineer it towards the goal you so wish to accomplish. One thing you must bear in mind is that the closer you are to a person, the easier it is for you to manipulate them. If you want to test your manipulation skills, the first person to do this with is your romantic partner.
Think of manipulation as persuasion.
The truth is, you must be willing to persuade people and make them feel like it was their choice all this while. Generally, men seek perfectionism while women see wholeness. You may be thinking, What does this even mean? the truth is that men are easily persuaded by mastery and an ego linked to improvement. When you display uncertainty on whether or not he can improve, you are simply taunting his ego in such a gentle way that contributes to progress.
On the other hand, women seek balance in various areas of life especially relationships with family and friends. Therefore, when you suffocate time, you stir up a burning desire to bring balance. The truth is, we all need balance, sacrifice, and focus in life. According to statistics, women tend to lean more towards balance, while men lead more towards perfectionism.
Amid persuasion tactics, you must not disobey the law of cognitive bias otherwise referred to as liking and loving tendency. For instance, if Adolf Hitler says that 1+1=2 and Steve Harvey says 1+1=3, even though we hate Hitler so much, we have to accept that he is right and Harvey loved by many is wrong.
Interestingly, most people wish to manipulate others over a short duration. Realize that patience is a virtue you must exercise when persuading others so that it feels and flows effortlessly. The truth is that this takes time to specifically overcome your mental barriers and get into the right mindset.
Think about a boulder rolling down the hill is there someone forcing it down? No! Because it is the force of gravity that is pulling it down. Instead of force against the force of nature, allow it to pull you.
When it rains, the only way we adapt is by putting on a jacket and getting an umbrella. When it is hot, you wear light clothing and shield your eyes with glasses. The point is - try as much as you can not to be delusional and allow yourself to adjust to what is. There are two major ways you can test delusion doing things in the wrong order still means the wrong thing (also referred to as miss-prioritization.) or setting expectations of the outcome by putting in the wrong input. With people, you must learn their personality type, how they react to different surroundings, and their boundaries.
Heres the point the mental frameworks are out of the way. One way you are going to get them to do the thing is to lead with a reward. People love it when they feel like its their choice and that triggers the release of dopamine otherwise known as the reward. They want to know how the thing you are telling them to do is going to benefit them.
The trick is not to tell them to do it directly. According to research, at least 90% of the time, people hate being told what to do. The best thing to do is to help them to the same conclusion following their path. The most rewarding thing is them knowing that it was their idea when, in fact, it was yours. Therefore, you must let them own it. The toughest part is attaching that reward to the thing because if they dont understand how something is of benefit to them, there is a high likelihood that they will never do it.
Once you manage to successfully manipulate others, you must not expose yourself because this goes against the liking and loving tendency, causing people to cut you off and that is the last thing you want. You must maintain consciousness of how you make them feel and try to persuade for the best and not for evil.
Techniques used by manipulators to gain control
Psychopaths are not villains we watch in movies or read in morality takes they are real and walk amongst us at home and in offices appearing to us as normal colleagues. According to one study, at least 3-4% of business leaders are psychopaths. The same thing applies to narcissists. Science has shown some evidence that a little bit of narcissism goes a long way in aiding business success.
As you go about your business each day, there is a chance that you will meet a few truly toxic narcissists and psychopaths who will try to manipulate you in one way of the other. You must understand how such people can manipulate others. Here are a few techniques:
Gaslighting
This is a manipulative technique that can be described in various ways. These include three key phrases:
That did not just happen
You imagined it
Are you insane?
Well, gaslighting is one of the most common and insidious manipulative tactics because it aims at distorting and eroding peoples sense of reality. In other words, it eats away your ability to trust yourself, inevitably disabling you from seeing the justification in calling out your abuser.
How then can you fight back?
The best thing is for you to ground yourself in your reality. One of the ways you can do this is to take time and write down exactly what happened, talk to a friend, or reiterate your experience to a support system that can help you counter the effects of gas lighters.
Projection
Think about it have you ever met someone so toxic that claims all the mess that surrounds them is your fault and not theirs?
Well, that tactic is referred to as projection.
Well, the truth is that we all have done this at someone's point in our lives. But the difference between us and narcissists or psychopaths is that they do it a lot. They simply use projection as a defense mechanism to displace the responsibility of their negative behaviors and qualities by ensuring that they attribute all of it to another person.
What is the solution then?
Well, its simple try as much as you can not to project your empathy or sense of compassion onto a toxic individual. Also, you mustnt own any of the toxic persons projections. When you project your conscience and value system onto others, this has a potential outcome of being met with more exploitation.
Generalizations
Let us consider an instance where you tell a coworker that they sometimes fail to consider long-term ramifications of their financial decisions. Then they go ahead and tell everyone that you called them loose cannon. You realize that this might blow up on you if several conditions come in to play. Your psychopath of a colleague goes to the boss and tells them that you said the deal is a wreck.
What is going on?
Well, the truth is that your nemesis did not only understand you, but they also had no interest in understanding you.
One thing you must note is that malignant narcissists are not intellectual masterminds. Most of them are intellectually lazy. Instead of taking the time to consider another persons perspective, they simply choose to generalize everything you say by making a blanket statement that does not consider the nuances of your argument. They choose not to consider the different perspectives you paid homage to.
