Mike Bayer - Be Your Best Self: The Official Companion to the New York Times Bestseller Best Self

MIKE BAYER , known as Coach Mike, is a Life Coach and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Best Self: Be You, Only Better . He is chief executive officer and founder of CAST Centers. Bayer is also an expert contributor to The Dr. Phil Show and the host of The Coach Mike Podcast . He lives in West Hollywood, California.

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W eve all had days, or maybe even whole seasons, when life has just seemed so complicated. When those times come around, I want you to remember thisyou hold the power to simplify things. All you have to do is show up as your Best Self. Thats it! You dont need to analyze every thought or emotion you experience, and you certainly dont need to analyze other people in your life. The only person you can control is you . And when you approach any situation that arises from your own authenticity, your odds of a positive outcome increase exponentially.

On the other hand, if you behave in a way that you think will bring about a certain outcome, you inevitably run into problems. For instance, if you say or do something because you think it will please someone else, but your behavior is not authentic to who you areproblems. If you lash out at someone because you think they need to be punished or to acknowledge that youre rightproblems. And if you set up a dynamic with someone in your life that is based on a version of yourself that isnt your Best Selfmore problems. You get the point.

Of course, acting as your Best Self doesnt guarantee that youll have a life free of adversity, discord, or disagreements. On the contrary! But the difference is thisif youre true to who you are in all of your interactions, then you can move confidently through your life knowing that you dont compromise your core values for anyone or anything. And your Best Self is wise; he or she knows exactly how you should handle whatever comes your way. You just need to trust yourself, and have faith that God or the universe ultimately has your back.

The work youve done in this companion guide has likely been challenging, and made you aware of the work you have to do. Thats good. You want to challenge yourself, to discover the answers you have within you. I encourage you to return to this work and to check in with yourself from time to time. Were constantly evolving, and part of that evolution is maintaining a strong connection with your Best Self. But it requires a willingness on your part, as well as a curiosity. We are not innately self-aware beings; our Best Self requires practice and persistence.

There might be times in the future when you start to feel like youve strayed off course in one of your SPHERES. Maybe youre not at all sure why youre struggling within it, and you need some clarity. Use this book as your navigational tool to get back on track. Just flip it open right to that chapter and start working through the questions so that you can see yourself with some objectivity.

Within the Coach Mike social media platforms, youll find lots of people sharing the epiphanies theyve had from reading Best Self , and my sincere hope is that you will also engage and share your story. Not only will you feel motivated and empowered, but you will also help others who will relate to your story and struggle. You just might discover the encouragement you were looking for while youre there. Im not big into putting labels on ourselves, but if you have made it this far, I consider you a Best Selfer. Welcome to the community.

Contents

The information in this book has been carefully researched by the author and is intended to be a source of information only. While the methods contained herein can and do work, readers are urged to consult with their physicians or other professional advisors to address specific medical or other issues that may be preventing readers from becoming their best selves. The author and the publisher assume no responsibility for any injuries suffered or damages or losses incurred during or as a result of the use or application of the information contained herein.

BE YOUR BEST SELF . Copyright 2020 by Mike Bayer. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

Cover design by Ashley Caswell

Digital Edition JULY 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-301319-3

Version 06162020

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-300159-6

W ho are you?

We rarely, if ever, slow down enough in our lives to really ask ourselves that question. But that is the central goal of this workbookto take the time, do the work, and have the reward of discovering what makes you uniquely you.

One of the observations Ive made over two decades of working with people is that our external world will match how aligned we are with our authentic self. For example, if you dont believe you are worthy of having close, true friends, you will isolate yourself a lot in your social life. This will prevent you from having those meaningful friendships. Or if you have low self-esteem, you will create a life in which you are surrounded by people and things that validate your low opinion. In other words, however you feel internally will be mirrored externally, because of your choices, whether conscious or subconscious.

Our society likes to focus on hugely popular celebrities who seem like they have it all, who are wildly successful and wealthy, travel all over the world, and live what seem to be amazing lives. The reality is that many of these people are totally miserable inside. Weve all heard those stories, and they seem so unbelievable from an outside perspective. How could he/she be depressed and suicidal? Hes got millions in the bank, and international fame! But, lets reframe that question in terms of the external environment matching our internal beliefs I just discussed. If you were to peel back the layers of glitz and glamour and really see that persons life up close, what you might discover is that his or her immediate surroundings and their day-to-day existence perpetuate their misery. In other words, they spend time engaging in unhealthy behaviors, people, places, and things. And its all because of one big problemhe or she isnt aligned with their authentic self, their Best Self. No amount of material, external success can ever solve that problem. You have to dig deep and identify your Best Self within, and create the life that honors that version of yourself.