Muller - Legacy of the heart: the spiritual advantages of a painful childhood

I have had so many wonderful teachers, friends, and guides throughout my life that it would be impossible to acknowledge them all. Perhaps the most potent voices belong to the women and men who have placed their trust in me over the years as we struggled to heal their deepest wounds. I am indebted to them all for what we learned together about healing, courage, and love.

There are also many people who, when they came into my life, brought with them exactly what I needed to learn. Denton Roberts, with his humble wisdom, first showed me how the inner workings of the childs mind took shape in our adult lives; the entire staff of the Family Education and Counseling Center, especially Dr. Lynn Cantlay, all opened their hearts and took me in, and taught me that therapy could be playful, exciting, and healing for everyone concerned; Dr. Steve Aizenstat and Dr. Gary Linker generously allowed me to use the Human Relations Institute in Santa Barbara for my endless investigations into the nature of psychology, community, and spirit, and unconditionally supported me each step of the way; Judy Hay, Valerie Russell, David King, Bill Webber, and Harvey Cox each in their own way taught me that spiritual healing comes to full flower only in the healing of the larger human community; Father Henri Nouwen lovingly reminded me always to balance the practice of psychology with the practice of spirit; Erik and Joan Erikson helped me realize that all psychology is ultimately rooted in the body, heart, and spirit; and Jack Kornfield, a loving teacher who speaks from the heart of the Buddha, taught me to sit still and listen with humility, humor, and compassion.

Many kind people have accompanied me on the journey of this book. Stephen and Ondrea Levine have been exceedingly generous with their friendship, their loving company, and their kind assistance on this project. Their work in the field of healing helped prepare the soil from which this book has grown. Ram Dass, who has shown so many of us how to be playfully curious about matters of the heart, generously offered his comments and support when I was just beginning and dearly in need of confidence; Daniel Goleman lent his valuable help, advice, and guidance from the start; Dr. Richard Heckler, who has accompanied me at various points along this journey for the past twenty years, provided love, humor, and compassionate collaboration; Peter Guardino first told me to write this book in 1974; Dianna Whitley made sure I sent it to the right person; Sister Mary Lou Kownacki at Pax Cristi helped me with some of the quotes; and Jai Lakshman, whose friendship, loving care, and enthusiastic support as a dharma brother and golf partner continues to endure beyond measure.

I would also like to especially thank Liz Perle, my editor and publisher, for the creative way in which she showed me how to listen to my own work, and for having the insight to recognize the jewel in the mud; and, finally, I thank Loretta Barrett, my agent and friend, for believing in me when no one could have been expected to. Her gentleness, wisdom, and care have been a comfort and a blessing.