Ringer - Looking out for #1: how to get from where you are now to where you want to be in life

Copyright 2013 by Robert Ringer

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

ISBN: 978-1-62636-040-2

Printed in the United States of America

Dedicated to the hope that somewhere in our universe there exists a civilization whose inhabitants possess sole dominion over their own lives, where every individual has the ability to recognize and the courage to acknowledge reality, and where governments as we know them do not exist.

Contents

Introduction

Given that the term looking out for number one has been so distorted by an army of media people who never took the trouble to read the book, I would like to clearly define it at the outset: Looking out for number one is the conscious effort to make rational decisions that lead to the greatest amount of happiness over the long term, so long as the actions stemming from those decisions do not involve the use of force or fraud against anyone else. In simpler terms, looking out for number one begins with the belief that you have a moral right to take actions aimed at giving you the greatest amount of pleasure and least amount of pain, provided your actions do not violate the rights of others.

It goes without saying that someone elses ego being harmed by your happiness or success, or his experiencing deep emotional pain as a result of his uncontrolled envy of you, does not equate to aggression. Such an unfortunate mind-set stems from the afflicted persons own neuroses, and by no stretch of the imagination is it your job to spend your waking hours trying to heal sick mindsunless, of course, youre a psychologist, in which case I would suggest you would be a lot more productive if you would have the neurotic individual in question call your receptionist for an appointment.

Its also important to understand that the idea of looking out for number one is neither narcissistic nor hedonistic, because focusing on personal happiness does not preclude your being kind, charitable, or civic-minded. Nor does it prevent you from being a team player or building meaningful, enduring relationships. On the contrary, all these, and more, can result in long-term happiness for you.

An important tenet of looking out for number one, however, is that you have no moral obligation to submit to playing the role of sacrificial lamb whose interests, goals, and happiness are always subordinated to the interests, goals, and happiness of everyone with whom you come in contactparticularly those whom you do not count among your friends or loved ones. Trying to please everyone is a well-known formula for unhappiness.

Clearly, then, not only does your achieving happiness and success not in any way harm others, it also puts you in a position to make constructive contributions to those closest to you and, through the invisible hand of the marketplace, even people you will never even meet.

Because I find it cumbersome to use hybrid pronouns such as his/hers and am opposed to debasing the English language by mixing singular nouns and pronouns with plural pronouns such as they, I have, for the sake of convenience only, chosen to use the masculine gender throughout this book in most instances where the neuter has not been employed.

As stated in the Introduction, whenever I use the term looking out for number one I am referring to the conscious effort to make rational decisions that lead to the greatest amount of happiness over the long term, so long as the actions stemming from those decisions do not involve the use of force or fraud against anyone else.

Long-term thinking is a critical aspect of looking out for number one, because short-term pleasure can be self-destructive if not weighed against long-term consequences. If, for example, one engages in armed robbery, the fruits of his crime may bring him short-term pleasure. However, the long-term resulthiding and/or incarcerationis sure to bring pain that will far outweigh his short-term gains. It is self-evident that thinking only short term is not a rational way to live ones life. I bow to Ayn Rand on the subject:

A rational man does not live his life short-range and does not drift like a bum pushed by the spur of the moment. It means that he does not regard any moment as cut off from the context of the rest of his life, and that he allows no conflicts or contradictions between his short-range and long-range interests. He does not become his own destroyer by pursuing a desire today which wipes out all his values tomorrow.

Knowingly or unknowingly, everyone tries to make decisions that lead to more pleasure and less pain, but such decisions are not always rational. To make rational decisions, you have to be aware of what youre doing and why youre doing it. If you wish to consciously and consistently make wise pleasure/pain decisions, it is necessary to lift your consciousness to a high level of awareness. This means elevating your thought processes to a point that gives you the capacity to act out of choice your choicea majority of the time.

While the high point on your mental awareness meter is taking action based only on your own rational choices, the low point is taking action based on what others choose for you. If youre in the habit of not basing your actions on rational choice, youre out of control, and anyone out of control is dangerous both to himself and those around him. In the event this describes your way of life, today is the best day to begin taking steps toward curing this self-destructive habit.

Looking out for number one is a transforming philosophy that can bring about dramatic changes in your life. When practiced honestly and consistently, it will give you the power to replace financial pressure with financial stability. It will result in warm, meaningful relationships in place of never-ending conflicts with people who bring mostly pain into your life. It will give you more free time in place of a harried life in which you never seem to have enough time for anything. It will give you a clear mind in place of a mind cluttered and stressed.

On a broader scale, looking out for number one will lead you to the realization that life is worth living and that it can and should be a pleasant, meaningful, exciting experience. The natural offspring of this discovery are feelings of self-control and self-esteem, which in turn perpetuate a positive state of mind and an action-oriented life.

Consciously or unconsciously, everyones main objective in life is to be as happy as possible. But what, exactly, is happiness? Wise men have been arguing over the definition of this elusive term since the beginning of recorded history. I choose to define happiness in simple terms: ones state of mind when he is experiencing pleasure .