Shannon Lee - Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee

When I was growing up, my mom used to tell my brother and me not to tell people that Bruce Lee was our dad. She said, Let people get to know you for who you are without that information. It was great advice, and for many years I skirted the issue in every conversation I could. Of course, my friends would always find out eventually when theyd come over and see our family pictures on the walls. However, with most elementary schoolage girls, that just meant a curious shrug of the shoulders before we put on our roller skates or rode our bikes. But as I became an adult, I began to feel like I had a secret I was guarding, and the conversations became more difficult to avoid, especially after I started looking after my fathers legacy full-time. If I skirted all the typical icebreaker questions such as So what do you do? and And how did you get into that? I started to feel not only like I was hiding, but actually lying through misdirection, and it didnt feel good. After all, Im not ashamed to be Bruce Lees daughterIm honored.

I would say, though, that being Bruce Lees daughter and having people react to that piece of information in such overwhelming ways has made it a challenge to my own identity at times. Perhaps thats why I feel like my fathers core philosophy of self-actualization (yes, Bruce Lee was a philosopher!) resonates so deeply with me. How does one honor the plain fact of their DNA while at the same time understanding that it doesnt mean anything about ones own soul? Or does it? Throw in my decision to spend a good portion of my life protecting and promoting the legacy of one of the humans who gifted me this life and who has meant so much to me, and questions of identity start to get pretty muddy.

What do you remember about your father?

Its the question Im most frequently asked and one that used to deeply disturb me because I couldnt answer it with clarity. My father died when I was just four years old, so I dont have many of my own stories or dazzling pieces of wisdom he passed on to me directly the way his contemporaries do. I dont have a letter he had written to me specifically. And how could I explain that, despite this, I feel I know him so essentially? How could I articulate that I feel I understand him in a way that others who knew him might not even understand him?

I have come to recognize that these feelingsof what his essential nature isare my memories of him. I know him in a way thats unclouded by any conflicts or hurts, jealousies or competition, or even any overly romanticized notions. I know his love, his energy signature. I know it because in our formative years, that is how we know our parentsthrough what we take in through our senses. Most children dont have fully formed, cognitively mature memory in play until much later than the age of four. We have to learn over time how to interpret and interact with what we are taking in per our cultural constructs. And thats why we so often get things wrong as children; we assign meaning incorrectly because we cant understand the subtleties of the whole of what is going on. We havent had the life experience yet. But we do feel the essential quality of everything, in some ways more keenly than our adult counterparts. My father shined his loving light on me, and I remember that clearly. I remember his essential nature. I remember him.

My father was a truly phenomenal specimen of a human being in many waysintelligent, creative, learned, skilled, driven. He worked really hard to cultivate every aspect of himself. At one point he said, Some may not believe it, but I spent hours perfecting whatever I did. He worked not only at sculpting his body but at shaping his mind, educating himself, evolving his practices, developing his potential. He also worked at the little things, like having beautiful handwriting, writing and speaking grammatically well, developing a colloquial understanding of English through joke-telling, learning how to direct a filmthe list goes on and on. And as a result, he created a legacy that continues to be relevant forty-seven years after his death.

But if theres one thing Ive learned through the practice and understanding of his philosophy, its that you dont need to be Bruce Lee in order to make the most out of your life. Trust me. As his daughter, the self-imposed stress to be one-tenth the specimen of a human that he was and in the way that he was has been overwhelming, paralyzing, and terrifying. It has stopped me in my tracks several times in my life.

But thats when I take a deep breath and remember: Bruce Lee doesnt want me to be Bruce Lee. Thank god. And what youll discover in this book is that what Bruce Lee wants is for you to be the best version of you that you can be. And that will look entirely different from Bruce Lee because, well, you are you. And guess what. Bruce Lee himself was not good at a lot of things. He could barely change a light bulb or cook an egg. Id like to see him try to put together some IKEA furniture. (In my imagination, it ends up smashed to splinters, with the Allen wrench sticking unceremoniously out of the drywall where it has been hurled in abject frustration.) But that aside, his words should encourage you to consider a process of self-actualization whereby you take a look at who you may actually and essentially bewhere you notice what your potential is pulling you toward and how to work to cultivate that. What will emerge will be just as unique, just as bright, just as uplifting, and just as energized as my father was, but in your own way and in your own process. And not only that, but you will end up with a centered sense of purpose that will bring you much more peace of mind and joy.

Thats why I got into this, after all. It wasnt the cool T-shirts (although the T-shirts are cool). It was because, as you will come to learn, I have been deeply moved and healed by these practices and words myself. I wouldnt have dedicated such a huge portion of my life to promoting my fathers legacy if I didnt earnestly feel it was worthy of my time and promotion. I want you to get to know this deeply philosophical and inspirational side of my father as I know and experience him. I want you to get any little tidbit or morsel you can that contributes something of value and goodness to your life. And I hope you connect with my familys stories that are within these pages and find something of yourself in them.

So what qualifies me to be your guide? I should tell you up front that Im not a researcher or an educator or a therapist or even a life coach. I have no expertise in anything other than Bruce Lee. And even that is a particular kind of expertise not based on a vast knowledge of dates and times and events. My expertise is in having known and been loved by him, in having gratitude for the gift of him, in living his words as best I can, and in trying diligently to find my own self.