Bowen - A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted

PART 1

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

PART 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

PART 3

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

PART 4

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

Thank you to the beautiful people of Christ Church Unity, Kansas City, MO, and to the volunteers, donors, and supporters who have made the Complaint Free movement a reality. Thank you to my wife, Gail, for her unending love and encouragement. Thank you to my mom, Lindy, my dad, Bill, my brothers, Chuck and Dave, and my stepmother, Bobby, for always believing in me. Thank you to Steve Hanselman of Level 5 Media for being a sounding board, guide, and mentor. Thank you to Alice Anderson for modeling a life of principle and integrity. Thank you to Sallye Taylor, who has always believed in me and prodded me to be my best. Thank you to Terry Lund for her prayers. Thank you to Yakov Smirn off, Dan Murphy, Chris de Leon, Steve Hall, Adam Khan, and Gary Hild for friendships that exist beyond time and distance. Thank you to Steve Rubin, Bill Barry, Trace Murphy, and the incredible staff at Doubleday. Thank you to Joe Jacobson for always being there.

And thank you, dear reader, for being open to a new paradigm for your life and, thereby, shining light into our world.

Reproduced with permission of the Kansas City Star Copyright 2007 The Kansas City Star. All rights reserved. Format differs from original publication. Not an endorsement.

One man I know suffered from chronic headaches. Every night he would arrive home from work and tell his wife how much his head had hurt that day. Realizing that telling his wife about his headaches did nothing to lessen their occurrence or severity, he decided to stop talking about them as a part of becoming complaint free.

The man's name is Tom Alyea. He no longer has these headaches and he's now the senior coordinator of our Complaint Free World program, one of several dozens of volunteers who make this all happen.

Less pain, better health, satisfying relationships, a better job, being more serene and joyous Sound good? It's not only possible, it's probable. Consciously striving to reformat your mental hard drive is not easy, but you can start now and in a short period of timetime that will pass any w ay you can have the life you ve always dreamed of having.

You can order a purple Complaint Free bracelet by visiting our Web site: www.AComplaintFreeWorld.org. We send the bracelets out free (the program is supported entirely by donations and you can donate if you choose). Here is how to use the bracelet:

1. Begin to wear the bracelet on either wrist.
2. When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, move the bracelet to the other wrist and begin again.
3. I f you hear someone else who is wearing a purple bracelet complain, it's okay to point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you're going to do this, you must move your bracelet first! Because you're complaining about their complaining.
4. Stay with it. It may take many months to reach 21 consecutive days. The average is 4 to 8 months.

And relax. We're only talking about complaints, criticism, and gossip that is spoken. If it comes out of your mouth, it counts, so start over. If you think it, it's free. But you'll find out that even complaining thoughts will disappear as you move through this process.

Start right now. You don't have to wait for your purple bracelet to arrive to get started. Slip a rubber band on your wrist, put a coin or small stone in your pocket, move a paperweight to one side of your desk or find your own distinctive way of self-monitoring now. Do it now. Then, when you catch yourself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, move the item. Move the rubber band to the other wrist, switch the coin to another pocket, or move the paper weight to the other side of the desk. It's important that you move the item. It's that act of moving it that plows furrows deeply into your consciousness, making you aware of your behavior. You must move it, every time.

Did you catch the very important word in the last paragraph? I said WHEN you catch yourself complaining, not IF. Complaining is epidemic in our world, so don't be surprised when you find out that you, too, gripe a lot more than you thought.

In this book you will learn what constitutes a complaint, why we complain, what benefits we think we receive from complaining, how complaining is destructive to our lives, and how we can get others around us to stop complaining. You will learn the steps to eradicating this poisonous form of expression from your life. If you stay with it, you will find that not only will you not complain, but others around you will cease to do so as well.

A while back, I was playing racquetball with a friend. Catching our breath between games, he asked, So how many purple Complaint Free bracelets have you sent out? About one hundred twenty-five thousand, I responded, and then I added, so far. Taking a moment for that to sink in, he sipped his water and said, One hundred twenty-five thousand that's more than the population of a good-sized American city. Yeah, I said, still trying to wrap my head around it all. And how long have you been at it? he asked. Seven months, I replied. One hundred twenty-five thousand bracelets in seven months, he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief.

Adjusting his sweat bands and replacing his goggles for our final game of the day, he asked, How many times a day do you think people complain? I don't know, I said. When I first started trying to go 21 consecutive days without complaining, I was moving my own purple bracelet about 20 times a day. He stood, indicating he was ready to continue playing. Grabbing his racquet and giving it a few swings to keep his shoulder limber, he said, Do the math. Wondering if somehow I'd miscalculated the score of our last game, I asked, What math?