Deborah Hansen - Nothing to Complain About: My 125-Day Journey to Become Complaint Free

Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence.

Ovid

This journey is dedicated to Will Bowen

For the inspiration that changed my life forever

Leaders establish the vision for the future and set the strategy for getting there; they cause change. They motivate and inspire others to go in the right direction and they, along with everyone else, sacrifice to get there.

John Kotter

2012 JDC Educational Enterprises, Inc

ISBN: 9781623096748

Jacksonville, Florida

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Will my bracelet ever get here?

Oh, wait. Thats a complaint, isnt it?

Recently I checked out a book on CD when I made a long distance car trip. The book was A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. I knew nothing about the author or the bookit just looked interesting on the shelf, so off we went.

I was transfixed. What would the world be like if everyone stopped complaining? Can we even envision such a thing?

This topic might have subliminally attracted me because I had begun to hear my own whining. I have been a generally positive, upbeat person. But, life had taken some difficult turns for me. To be honest, it had been a nightmare.

But we all have our burdens, and mine are no bigger or more important than yours. I just had taken to complaining about mine. I was depressing myself and Im sure those around me hadnt been having any fun, either.

So, I thought, why not? Could I go 21 days without complaining? Could you?

The program relies on the bracelet you put on your wrist. If you manage a whole day without complaining, you leave it on that wrist. But if you complain about something you move the bracelet immediately to the other wrist and you must start all over again. As many times as it takes. Ouch.

Will Bowen discusses what complaining is and what it is not. Yes, you stand up for yourself, but only to those who can fix the problem and you only state the facts at hand.

For example: My soup is cold. Could you bring me another dish that is hot? No ugly tone, no personal attack, and you are asking the server, the one who can accomplish this for you.

However, My soup is ice cold! Does everyone want to taste this horrible concoction?! Waiter, you idiot! Take this back and throw it out the back door, and then bring me something decent to eat! NOW!

I think you get the idea.

I ordered my bracelet today. This should be an interesting journey.

We envision a positive shift in our worlds consciousness.

We see a day when people focus on and speak about what they desire things to be rather than complaining about how things are.

A Complaint Free World

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bracelet or no..

So, hows it going? A friend who knows about my commitment to become complaint-free checked in on my progress.

My mouth opened, my brain kicked into response mode, and then it was as if I couldnt speak.

Well, I could speak, but I knew the complaints would come quickly, one pouring out on top of the next with no breaks, just misery pooled there in front of us in a sticky mess.

My bracelet from the Complaint Free World organization hasnt arrived yet, but that hasnt stopped me from curbing my enthusiasm for my own complaining. I knew I had become tedious and whiny. I have to take action.

Not that I havent had reason to whine, but thats the whole point, isnt it? We each have burdens to carry, often real and heavy, but complaining about them to those who have no control over or interest in resolving them is annoying at the very least.

So, my behavior has changed, even without the bracelet. I decided to go to the local party store today and get an interim circlet for my wrist, but I have made some strides in the right direction without it.

Do not be who you thought you were, be who you wish you were.

Friendship with God

Neale Donald Walsch

Monday, May 17, 2010

On my way..

Day 1: Real time

Day 1: Countdown to 21 Complaint-Free Days

I wandered into my local import store and found a temporary bracelet to begin my journey. I was afraid to wait too long. I didnt want to lose my enthusiasm.

Its yellow and orange, one of those bracelets made of thread wrapped tightly around some kind of form. It had tiny bells sewn onto it that made gentle noises as I moved. Gentle reminders of purpose. Perfect.

I took it out of the bag in the car and stared at it, like it was going to spring into life on its own. And I realized I was afraid to put it on. Once I did, I knew I was committed. I stuffed it back in the bag and went home.

I eventually did put it on late that afternoon, a Sunday with a lot of things going on in my life. And I did really well with my complaining! That doesnt sound right. I mean I didnt complain for the rest of the day. The fact that I was alone for most of it has nothing to do with my success. Really.

I took it off when I got ready for bed, and laid it on my dresser. It didnt spring to life or run away like a character in a Pixar movie. It just sat there waiting for me until morning.

Did I mention that the finale of a popular reality show was on that night? I guess I should have, because a friend and I were on the phone first thing in the morning gossiping about one of the villains of the season. And, suddenly, I realized that my heart was pounding and my agitation level had risen.

I was complaining. And as I have realized recently, my complaining takes on a life of its own once I get going.and going.and going. Kind of like that bunny on the television commercial. I had blown Day One before I put the bracelet back on.

I tried desperately to redeem myself. But it goes on the opposite wrist anyway, and Day One begins again.

Kind of like Groundhog Day.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.

Confucius

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Is it REALLY a complaint?

Day 2: Real time

Day 1: Countdown to 21 Complaint-Free Days

When is a statement a complaint, exactly?

I moved my bracelet this morning and started Day One over again, almost before it started. I hoped to make it longer today than I did yesterday, having hardly made it past getting out of bed then.

Its tiny bells kept me company as I got settled in one of the offices I work from, and coffee was made. Important things first, but at least I had made it out of the house this time without trashing something or someone.

We each have times in our lives when everything collapses, the walls tumbling down to block out the sun for what seems like forever. Im in the midst of my own personal rubble right now, and there are truly negative things going on in my life. So, if I talk about them, is that considered complaining?

After my coffee brewed, I visited with people in the office and brought them up to date on the most pressing matter. These people are empathetic and kind and good listeners, offering to lend a hand if I need it.

After I sat back down at my desk, I caught myself. Had I complained? I thought back over our conversation and really dont remember taking my statements past the point of telling and tumbling into the realm of trashing.

Is telling people the negative things, the really negative things, going on in your life complaining? Maybe its just that people have enough to worry about without me sharing my trials.