Anonymous - The 12 Steps Unplugged

The 12 Steps Unplugged

Hazelden Publishing
Center City, Minnesota 55012
800-328-9000
hazelden.org/bookstore

2003 by John Rosengren

All rights reserved. Published 2003 (formerly titled Big Book Unplugged)

Printed in the United States of America

No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-1-61649-110-9
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-61649-161-1

Editors note: All references to the Big Book are to the fourth edition of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Cover design by David Spohn

Typesetting by BookMobile Design and Publishing Services

To Audrey, Pat, Jerry, Ralph, and Rich,
who patiently showed me the way.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank Richard Solly at Hazelden for his early interest in this project and Becky Post for seeing it through with her clear editors vision.

Thanks also to all of the brave souls Ive met in the Fellowship throughout the worldwithout you, I wouldnt be here, and this book wouldnt have been possible.

Last but not least, thanks to my Higher Power, who makes it all possible.

INTRODUCTION

Know how to keep a secret from an alcoholic? Put it in the Big Book.

We alcoholics and addicts are reluctant to read the Big Book, which is officially titled Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe its because the book seems so big and was written long ago. For whatever reason, its too bad that the wisdom in the Big Book doesnt reach more alcoholics.

This guide is intended to help you discover the Big Books hidden treasures. Think of it as a guidebook for a trip youre about to take. This guide points out sights of interest and things not to miss. Its not a substitute for the trip itself. Rather, it will help you make the most of your trip.

Along the way, you might realize the Big Book isnt so big after all. Its broken into two main parts. The first part, the text of chapters 111, is only 164 pages. The forty-two personal stories in the second part give the book its bulk. The first eleven chapters of this guide correspond with the first part of the Big Book. Each chapter in this book breaks down the main insights of the corresponding Big Book chapter. The remainder of this guide is devoted to understanding the personal stories better. Ive picked eight stories that I thought might speak to you. These people started using when they were young, just like you and me.

I suggest you try this: First, read the chapter or personal story in the Big Book without worrying too much about what doesnt make sense. Then, read the corresponding chapter in the guidebook. Finally, go back and read the Big Book chapter again. Youll be amazed at how much more you discover upon this reading.

Soon youll be well traveled in the secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous and understand the solution it offers you. My wishes for a satisfying journey.

Theres no problem that cant be
made worse by picking up a drink.

The Big Book begins like an old movie. We meet Bill, a high-flying, gin-loving Wall Street guy making millions during the Roaring Twenties. But, you wonder, what does this have to do with me?

Bill is a promising guy with a bright future. He crashes and burns because of his insatiable appetite for alcohol. I was one of those guys, too, only many years later. I was a pot-smoking kid from the suburbs. I washed dishes for spending money.

I first got drunk at fourteen. In the kitchen of a friends house, I guzzled bourbon stolen from his parents liquor cabinet.

Like Bill, Id heard strong warnings about alcohol, especially from my parents. Theyd told me about my grandfather, a promising salesman who ended up a skid-row drunk. That first night I drank, giddy with the alcohol in me, I walked a straight line along the pattern in the kitchen carpet. Seealcohol wont affect me the way it does others. So began an early delusion about being invincible.

Bill defended alcohol. When his wife voiced her concerns, he rationalized that men of genius had come up with their best stuff when drunk; that the philosophers thought their deepest thoughts under the influence. I remember saying the same sort of thing while smoking pot in another friends basement.

Any of this sounding familiar?

Find the Common Ground

Heres the first secret to making some sense of the Big Book: Look for what you have in common. Then youll be able to hear what it has to say.

When Bills friends confronted his drinking, he argued with them. When my parents confronted me with bottles or bags they found, I lied and denied. We got the same resultwe hurt those who cared about us. We put our drugs before our loved ones.

Bills consequences mounted. He could no longer choose when he wanted to drink; he needed alcohol to function.

I felt the same way. I couldnt go to a party without using. I could barely walk down the school hallway without being high. I needed to drink or smoke dope to calm my emotional shakes.

Yet, and heres the crazy part, Bill and I both believed we could still control our use. That, my friend, is called denial.

Suddenly, Bill woke up. He knew he had to quit, so he did. Then, someone offered him a drink. He took it but couldnt stop. He came home drunk. He proved he didnt have controlonce he started drinking, he couldnt stop himself.

That was me. Light a joint, I had to finish it. A toke or two wouldnt do. What was the point of that? I wanted to get high.

Bill repeated a cycle of resolve, drink, remorse, drink. Me too. I remember puking my guts out the morning after a night of drinking, hugging the toilet and swearing Id never drink like that again. Then Id wind up drunk that night! Of course, the next day Id feel shitty about myself. Then Id have to get high or drunk. My life cycled down the toilet.

Nowhere to Run

Bill tried geographics, moving from the city to the country and from the country to the city. He brought his problem with him wherever he went. I switched from school to school. But, what do you know? I kept partying. My problem dogged me.

Bill details financial disasters, something I didnt experience as a teenager living with my parents. But Bill had moral, mental, and physical consequences I could relate to.

He stole from his wifes purse. I stole dope from my friend. I knew it was wrong to steal, but I sacrificed my values to get a fix. Whenever I violated my moral code, I felt like scum. Thats how alcohol and drug abuse quietly corrodes your self-esteem.

All I wanted to do was get wasted, blasted, loaded, stoned, bombed, shit-faced. Ever think about those terms and what theyre saying? When I got wasted, I ended up wasting my life.

Bill believed self-knowledge would allow him to drink without the consequences. Ha! Thats like saying, Knowing Ive got diarrhea is enough for me to make it stop. Good luck.

Bill became a slave to his drug of choice. He couldnt control alcohol; it controlled him. And it wasnt a kind master. Nor was my drug of choicemarijuana. It doled out some nasty punishments.

Camp Detox

My last night using, I went to a party in the woods. I was seventeen with a bottle of whiskey tucked in my jacket. Id quit smoking dopehad been high only three times in the past two weeksbut got stoned that night after a few whiskey sours.

The cops busted our party. I refused to leave. We were there first, I argued. Uh-oh, my friends said. Come on, John, lets get out of here.