ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The first and most essential source for this book is my cousin/on-call late-night rebbe Mikey Stone whose sagacity and depth of knowledge in all things Jewish earns him the well-deserved moniker The Gaon of 77th Street. This book would not have been possible without him. Additionally, the following learned beings provided crucial information, explanation and analysis: Rabbi Ken Spiro of Aish.com, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin and Rabbi Joe Potasnik. Additionally, I am deeply grateful to the many other sources whose scholarship informed my research. Although I do not have the space to give them full mention here, a more thorough list can be found at www.chroniclebooks.com/didjewknow .
Other important humorists, scholars and supporters of this project and its author include Shawn Nacol, Marcel Brea, Amy Clemens, Francesca Bove, Jake Laub, Jillian Turecki-Baer, Chachi Luna Cruz, Damon Suede, Lauren Portada, Jordan Beckerman, Shawn Milnes, KG, David Bar Katz, Tina Benko, Jillian Gould, Mary Dana Abbott, Jessica Castro, Liz OConnor, Jasmine Tarkeshi, Marc The Gentle Gentile Ryning, Niki Russ Federman, Angela Norton, Aliza Stone Howard, Rebecca Stone, the always fabulous Michelle Tovah Barge, Park Bench and EDNA.
Additional props to my uncle Richard Stone for his input, my cousin Ilana Stone for the chance, my beloved brother and sister-in-law Daniel Stone and Ellie Carmody for shelter during the storm, amazing Shabbat dinners and elucidating dvar Torah and finally, my amazing, wise and loving Jewish parents Harvey and Danna Stone for everything.
Contents
CHAPTER 1
FROM CANAAN TO NEW CANAAN: A Short History of the Jews
CHAPTER 2
JEWIER THAN THOU: Hasidic to Reform and Everything in Between
CHAPTER 3
THE CHOSEN VIBE: Jewish Rituals and Customs
CHAPTER 4
HOLY DAZE: A Survival Guide to the Jewish Holidays (High or Otherwise)
CHAPTER 5
GOY VEY! Conversion, Assimilation, and the Art of Spiritual Mixology
CHAPTER 6
JEW BETTER WORK: How Jews Put the JBack in Job
CHAPTER 7
SPEAK LOUDLY AND CARRY A BIG SCHTICK: Jews in the Entertainment Industry
CHAPTER 8
THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK: Jewish Lit from the Bible to Superman
CHAPTER 9
BAD FOR THE JEWS: Schnooks, Crooks, and the Son of Sam
CHAPTER 10
LET MY PEOPLE NOSH: Jews and Food A Love Story
CHAPTER 11
THE OYS OF YIDDISH: Yiddish Words and Phrases Even an Irish Cop Would Know (and Some He or She Might Not)!
CHAPTER 1
FROM CANAAN TO NEW CANAAN: A Short History of the Jews
Siz shver tsu zayn a Yid. (Its tough to be a Jew.)
YIDDISH FOLK SAYING
Welcome to Jew Hist 101, a (condensed) history of how the People of the Book became the People of the Bookbefore there was even a book! Speaking of book, this one is not meant to be a comprehensive history of the world and the Jewish people in it (I leave that to the great historian Mel Brooks); instead, it offers some essential highlights (and low points) of Jewish history, from Canaan to the Catskills, from capitalism to communism, and from God to now. So, whether you understand the Bible as metaphorical, historical, or hysterical, whether you think the history of Israel and its people is literal or biblical, whether you believe Jesus was the Messiah or just a complex if misguided cult leader from 2,000 years ago, this book is your captain through a journey that is bigger than your local miniseries and twice as racy and dramatic.