2003 by Stormie Omartian
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Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations noted NIV are from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations noted NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 0-7852-6441-8
ISBN: 978-1-4185-6521-3 (eBook)
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C ONTENTS
W hen my dad turned ninety, I began to notice a difference in his health. He wasnt necessarily sick, nor did he have a terminal disease such as cancer. He just started losing weight and got very frail; everything seemed to be a real effort for him. I know he felt miserable about that because he had always been so active. By the end of 2001, when he was ninety-three, he seemed to have deteriorated further each time I saw him. At the traditional Christmas dinner at our home, he said he didnt want any pumpkin pie, so I knew something was really wrong then. Dad never would have missed his favorite dessert. He had to leave the celebration immediately after dinner because he was so exhausted.
Two weeks later he got up at 6:30 in the morning, fixed a bowl of cereal, and went back down to his little terrace apartment in my sisters home. Just before my brother-in-law, Louis, left for work at 10:30 A.M ., he heard the radio playing in Dads room. When Louis came home about 3:30 that afternoon, Dad was not upstairs, which was unusual since he was always out and about during the afternoon. Louis went to check on Dad and found him in bed, just as if he were sleeping. The radio was off, so Dad had obviously gone back to bed because he wasnt feeling well.
We held a private family funeral for himjust my sister, Susie; her husband and her three children, Stephanie, Derek, and Matt; and Michael and me and our children, Christopher and Amanda. As we sat in a circle, each one telling a favorite memory of Dad, I realized that I had become completely at peace with my past. I had forgiven my mother for things she had said and done to me over the years and my dad for things he hadnt done to protect me from a mentally ill mother. I had peace with my relationship with my parents. It reminded me that emotional health can be achieved. We are all locked up in some way in our lives, but Jesus has the keys to let us out.
What Is Emotional Health?
Many people look upon their emotional state with resignation: This is just the way I am. Others believe that one has to be either very spiritual to become more emotionally healthy on their own or very wealthy to be able to afford the best professional help. Emotional health, one girl told me, is a remote ideal that many people want but very few people achieve.
My definition of emotional health is having total peace about who you are, what youre doing, and where youre going, both individually and in relationship to those around you. Its feeling totally at peace about the past, the present, and the future of your life. Its knowing that youre in line with Gods ultimate purpose for youand being fulfilled in that.
How about you? In the space below list the moments in your past that give you peace and well-being when remembering them:
[Your Response Here]
Now think about the moments in your past that make you feel agitated and uneasy. List those moments below:
[Your Response Here]
Next look at your present. List the moments that give you a feeling of peace and well-being:
[Your Response Here]
Now look at the moments in the present that make you feel agitated and uneasy. List those moments below:
[Your Response Here]
Finally, think about the future. What events in the future might make you happy and at peace? List them below:
[Your Response Here]
What events in the future might make you afraid and uneasy? List them below.
[Your Response Here]
Looking at the lists above, note the two most important events (the ones that made you feel afraid and uneasy) in the past, present, and future that you need to deal with as you read this book:
Past:
[Your Response Here]
[Your Response Here]
Present:
[Your Response Here]
[Your Response Here]
Future:
[Your Response Here]
[Your Response Here]
In contrast to what many people think, emotional health is just as practical and attainable as physical health. If you dont feed your body the right food, you will become ill and die. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, you have to be fed and cared for properly, or that part of you gets sick and dies a slow death.
I know. Ive come a long way since I was a child, living with a mother who was physically and verbally abusive.
My mother constantly told me, Youre worthless, and youll never amount to anything. Worse yet, she locked me in a little closet underneath the stairs when I did anything to disturb her.
I had to stay in that closet until she remembered I was there, or when my father returned from work and then she would let me out.
During my growing-up years, my mothers extremely erratic behavior left me with feelings of futility, hopelessness, helplessness, and deep emotional pain. So much so that by the time I was a young woman, I was still locked in a closetexcept the boundaries were emotional rather than physical.
I threw myself into anything I thought would help me get free of all thatEastern religions, occult practices, psychotherapy, unhealthy relationships, and a short, ill-fated marriage. When it became obvious that each of these things fell far short of meeting my desperate needs, I sank deeper into depression. I turned to drugs and alcohol with dangerous frequency in hopes of momentarily transcending this chronic emotional torture.
I wrote about these experiences in my autobiography, Stormie. After its publication I was deluged with letters from people telling me of their own emotionally traumatic circumstances.
Many women said, I just want to be whole. Youve shown me for the first time that is possible to be free of emotional pain. But now that I know there is hope for my life, what steps can I take to experience the same healing youve found?
I knew I needed to put all the information I had on the subject in a book, so I wrote Lord, I Want to Be Whole . Now I am adding this workbook and journal so that women can individuallyor in a Bible study or Sunday school classwork through their own personal struggles. In this book you will be guiding the experience, and I will only be a companion to the process.
