Chidera Eggerue - What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflowers Guide to Why You Are Already Enough
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- Book:What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflowers Guide to Why You Are Already Enough
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Publishing Director Sarah Lavelle
Editor Susannah Otter
Designer Claire Rochford
Production Director Vincent Smith
Production Controller Tom Moore
Published in 2018 by Quadrille, an imprint
of Hardie Grant Publishing
Quadrille
Southwark Street
London SE1 1UN
quadrille. com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may
be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or
transmitted in any form by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior written permission of the
publishers and copyright holders. The moral rights
of the author have been asserted.
Cataloguing in Publication Data: a catalogue record
for this book is available from the British Library.
text and artwork Chidera Eggerue 2018
design Quadrille 2018
eISBN 9781787133143
To my Mum, who effortlessly yet
intentionally led me to myself.
What A Time To Be
Alone is a book by a
recovering hypocrite.
Its here to remind you
that no matter where
you find yourself in life,
you will ALWAYS have to
face your truth. All of it.
Youre not alone, youre
not crazy. Your feelings
are valid and its time to
make peace with them...
all of them.
This book has been
divided into three
important sections:
is less about you and more about the ways
other people can become dangerous if we
dont know how to avoid their demons, but
also about understanding that everybody is
protecting themselves from something - no
matter how aggressive their method is.
them .
Its time we learn to
find security in our
solitude. Thankfully,
its never too late to
find safety in yourself.
Are you ready to meet
yourself?
allows you to understand how to avoid
toxicity, shows ways to grow and sustain
productive relationships, and lists the
healthiest ways to end relationships
which no longer feel fruitful.
You might be lost, you might be confused, your life might feel
like it lacks meaning, but youre still purposeful. Maybe you
arent doing as well as you thought youd be doing by now,
everyone around you looks like theyve found their mojo, the
world seems to be moving faster and further without you ... but
just remember, youre still purposeful.
Loads of people ( including yourself) find you annoying, you
have an extreme case of butter fingers when it comes to
handling important things like relationships and the lens
you borrowed from your mate, people talk over you in group
conversations but youre still purposeful.
Hope is never all lost. Hope is simply hiding and if youre
reading this book, youre ready to find it!
YOU
ARE
SUPPOSED
TO BE
HERE.
SAVE SOME LOVE
FOR YOURSELF.
YOU DESERVE IT.
FIRST THINGS FIRST:
Allowing other people to be time- killers while running away
from the responsibility of loving ourselves happens to
everyone, but it should be avoided. It always ends in emotional
disaster. Nobody is ever going to be able to fill your you- shaped
hole for you. No, not that hole. The gaping hole we all
have inside that deeply craves validation, love and comfort.
It just wont work. Youve got to be fond of yourself enough
to support yourself emotionally regardless of the intimate
company of someone else. Loving yourself does not make you
vain or conceited as long as you have respect for other people.
The world loves to paint confidence in a terrible light because
to be confident means to be self- sufficient. This is a threat to a
world built on a multi- billion- dollar industry that tells you that
you arent doing you right. Find your own sense of this, and
the rest will follow.
Human beings have been designed to disappoint. Thats the
brutal, sad reality. Its a pretty bitter, large pill to swallow, but
once you finally come to terms with this truth, life wont hit you
as hard anymore.
The thing about human beings is that we treat others the
way we feel about ourselves, and most of the time, we dont
even realise it. This is why its important for you to learn to
not internalise the way people choose to treat you. If, like me,
youre one of those SUPER- SENSITIVE people who genuinely
dies a little more inside every time someone takes advantage
of your kindness, or pretty much ignores your existence
whenever they feel like it, youve got to remind yourself that
nothing is ever really that personal even kindness. Its all a
reflection of how that person is feeling about their self. So if
someone decides to be a prick to you, dont bother yourself
with the emotional turmoil. Just remember that theyre
fighting an even bigger battle with their self.
If in doubt, its always wise to remind yourself that nobody who
truly loves their self allows themselves to project negativity
onto another human being. It does not get any more simple
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