DANIEL CHECHICK - Existential Dialogues II

Existential Dialogues II

By

Daniel Chechick

Translation: Tom C. Atkins

Proofreading: Sharona Gury

Cover : Arina Albu

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, received or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright's owner. Copyright Daniel Chechick, 2020.

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"Nothing is true, everything is permitted"

Friedrich Nietzsche

Table of Contents

T hroughout life, a person may encounter many questions without having pause to watch and contemplate, to wonder what everything means for them, personally.

What did I ask for, other than gentle moments of existence in which I could devote myself to the silence within me and debate my spirit over real decisions on real issues?

For what is the common alternative?
To annihilate myself in blind devotion to the choices of the many who would dictate my way of life, though I never asked for their advice? Such a choice would be an insult.

I then thought there must be another way to live, before that predetermined script which some are so quick carve into the spirits of young people.

Harsh words of this kind have burst out of me, a defensive storm protecting me from the possible insult of being a leaf, blowing in the wind, without any hold, without any internal decision.

That is why I determined to hold an internal discourse with my spirit over all of those great questions which have always haunted my mind, without letting external voices be a determining factor.

Moreover, I sought to have a discussion with the old man I will become - to find an appropriate partner for these intimate conversations, so rare in the freezing reality.

Such quiet conversations, where thoughts come up uncensored, are at times a worthy reason to still live. To still be human.

How much would you like to live?

Why does it matter?

It matters to me! I must know.

First you would have to ask me to clarify to you what kind of life is even worth living, for I dont take long life, in itself, to be an achievement.

What kind of life is worth living, then?

It seems that people find a worthy life in their embraces.

Then, you would like to live as long as you embrace?

Almost, but not exactly. A life worth living is one in which you can embrace question marks.

And by negation, one can understand that a life that is not worth living is a life in which one embraces exclamation marks, is that not so?

I am not brave enough to opine on the life of others, but for me it would be inconceivable.

But, what does it even mean to embrace question marks?

What is a small boy in a playground if not a walking question mark, investigating his world from within himself in previously unseen addiction? And he faces powerful forces which constantly embrace exclamation marks and seek to eliminate his wonder and deny him from searching, for they have already found for him. Have you known a violent absurd of that kind?

So many exclamation marks in my soul did not come from within me! But these are the foundations of the world I have known since infancy. How can I disengage from such a powerful embrace? Who will I call on at a time of crisis?

See in your world, see around you how many people live in a never ending embrace of exclamation marks that have become dear to them, for they have always lived in them. What a terrible distress is it for a person to ask and to hold onto doubt and helplessness.

I would like to choose my own exclamations marks!

You would like to choose

Is it too late for me to disengage from the embrace of exclamation marks?

Do they embrace you, or are you desperate in your embrace of them?

Good question.

Since these exclamation marks were etched into your soul in ancient times, you can easily identify them by stripping completely bare. Your courage will then be to choose them anew, or make of them question marks which you might not even have to answer !

Who is brave enough to become a question mark these days?

Bravery is extremely rare, and therefore exclamation marks are so common.

Then you seek to be brave and embrace question marks?

As much as I can. Such would be my life, and even if I embrace one question mark, even if I embrace one exclamation mark, as long as it is mine and from within me, it would be a life worth living for me.

It seems that it was only the first man who was immune to the projects of exclamation marks. Only he could have created his spirit in the purest way. But for you one achievement is enough.

Self-affirmation requires a sense of modesty, for in any case one cannot realize the common exclamation marks.

Then you will live as long as you could be a question mark?

Definitely. It is my favorite exclamation mark.

What exclamation marks were activated within us, and we never dared question?

Where are they, the people?

Have your eyes stopped working, or have you become too proud to perceive their world?

Why would you deride my question so? I ask again: Where are the people?

They are always around us, cant you see? They surround us so constantly that I cannot feel my own self anymore!

Then I ask again: Where are the people? All I see are masks.

Does your heart wish to beguile me again?

How is it one can no longer see the tears of disappointment in the eyes of a young girl whose heart has been cleaved into two?

They have become masters of concealment. As if to outdo the Greek sages, to the question of body and soul they added the ever changing mask, and now can no longer allow their spirit to show them crying or sad.

If they cannot express such emotions, perhaps they have adopted some Eastern wisdom that brings a man closer with himself? Could that be it? And if they were left with no opinion, did they eliminate the phenomenon of tears?

Neither one nor the other, my friend. You do not understand. They do not cry outwardly, because of the mask. But inside they are still miserable. They hide themselves from existence as if others reinforced their belief that there is power in lacking weakness. For the world has become so fast that no place is left for close compassion. They are no longer interested in listening to the pains of others. That is why both sides forever portray their lives as being as wonderful as can be , and even when they ask each other for their well-being, they hint at what answer they expect .

Then they all know that they are all hiding?

True.

Is it not possible that humans have stopped giving in to crying and sadness?

Indeed.

And we will, of course, not consider the possibility that they are in a never ending state of mania?

True .

Where then does their lost soul find release?

Perhaps they hide their tears, as if they were evidence of some crime.

This is indeed a reasonable option... But another idea comes to mind: perhaps they are busy concealing their terror, and cry through the tears of others, using each other as mirrors for their own souls.