Kirsten Pagacz - Conquering Your State of Anxiety

PRAISE FOR

CONQUERING YOUR STATE OF ANXIETY

Ms. Pagacz, over a period of years, has poured heart, soul, and sinew, into this book, and the result is remarkable. She describes the torment of OCD from the inside. Fellow sufferers will feel understood; families and friends will gain unique insight into what their loved one
is exp eriencing.

Her compelling narrative abounds with powerful metaphors. Employing a creative scrapbook format, and using photos, Illustrations, and original poems, Ms. Pagacz enhances the text with a power only art c an convey.

Beyond the descriptive narrative, however, is a compendium of useful information about the disorder and how to best manage it. Drawing on what worked for her, and based on researching expert advice, chapters contains a summary of useful tips and key points to remember. The result is educational and insp irational.

This memoir of her recovery is a highly valuable, unique gift to the OCD c ommunity.

Dan Kalb, PhD
Psychologist, OCD specialist

This compelling narrative is one womans story of her battle with obsessive compulsive disorder. Pagaczs harrowing account demonstrates how OCD can scar and misshape a life and provides for readers effective tools for healing an d growth.

Jeff Bell, author of
Rewind Replay Repeat: A Memoir of Obsessive Compulsiv e Disorder

Copyright 2016, 2022 by Kirsten Pagacz.

Published by Conari Press, a division of Mango Publishing Group, Inc.

Cover Design: Megan Werner

Layout & Design: Joseph Allen Black
Interior Images: Kirsten Pagacz unless otherwise noted

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Conquering Your State of Anxiety: How to Battle OCD and Reclaim Your Life

LCCN: 2021951244

ISBN: (print) 978-1-64250-918-2, (ebook) 978-1-64250-919-9

BISAC category code SEL041030, SELF-HELP / Compulsive Behavior / Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Printed in the United States of America

I dedicate this book to individuals who suffer with OCD and their friends and family. I wrote this book for you. Your freedom is import ant to me.

To my best friend, Doug, and my loving mother, Sandra. Weve shared decades together, filled with ups and downs. Thank you for your never- ending supply of love and believing in me when I struggled to believe in myself. You are forever in the biggest part of my heart.

This book is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent any illness or act as a substitute for advice from a doctor or psychiatrist. Except for my husband, mother, Dr. Kalb, Pam, Victoria, Oana and my dog Rocket, and cat Angela, all names and identifying details have bee n changed.

CONTENTS

I first interviewed Kirsten for my podcast several years ago, after coming across the first edition of this book. Her story has been heard thousands of times on the podcast since then. Kirsten was immediately warm, lovely, and caring. These qualities have not waned over the years Ive been in contact with her. Often sending kind notes or copies of her book, she truly is a radiator. A radiator being a person who warms people up. That comes across in this book, as she describes working through trauma, familial issues, and, of course, Sergeantthe name she give s her OCD.

Kirsten does a wonderful job of demonstrating the depths of OCD and the wider variety of worries that can manifest from it. This gives evidence that the themes of OCD, although scary, are not relevant. They can chop and change, quicker than the weather. But what remains underneath the themes are the processes of OCD. We all (people who experience OCD) have a Sergeant, and that Sergeant is just changing its mask (theme) to try to scare us. Its important to note that its not sending us this scary information to be mean, but our brains are trying to notify us of potential danger or risk to keep us safe. Its our brains working a little too well. It doesnt always feel like that, and in my own history with OCD, it often felt like a bully. A key was changing my view of my own OCD, from a malevolent entity that felt separate to me to seeing it as a scared part of my brain that needed compassion and care so that, over time, it too could calm down and realise that what it fears is not evidence of some actual, real wor ld danger.

As a child and adolescent counsellor and psychotherapist, I appreciate Kirstens honesty and vulnerability in opening up about her OCD and family life. For many there may be no link; however for Kirsten she feels that the early trauma and instability in her upbringing affected her OCD, or at least did not help it. Trauma can often be left out of the conversation when discussing OCD, when for many it may be an important factor that also needs working with and healing in the therapy room. Kirstens story doesnt just detail OCD but also substance use and an eating disorder. This highlights the many ways we try to cope with difficult feelings and experiences; for some of us, OCD indirectly becomes one of those ways. Of course the brain does not neatly characterise disorders, only humans do. The brain does what it can to help us, sometimes leading us into obsessive thinking and compulsive rituals. Its attempts at protection end up becoming the things that make us suffer e ven more.

Kirstens book is an honest memoir of her experience of OCD through the years. She details the grip her OCD had on her and the depths it went to. Her truthful account of how vast and varied OCD can be while entangling someones life is both informative and scary. Kirstens story is not a tale that ends there, as she shares what helped her and the process she went through to tame Sergeant and understand OCD better. Offering hope, insight, and at times laughter through her honest and comical writing. Kirsten has been a light in my life; I hope her writing has the same effec t on you.

Overall, this book says to me that where you are currently is no indication of where youre going to be. So have faith, work smart, and, where possible, bring in compassion for yourselfbecause you d eserve it.

Stuart Ralph, psycho therapist
and host of The OCD Stori es podcast

I wrote this book to help people go from illness to wellness and learn how to fill themselves with joy instead of despair. Since this book was first published in 2016 (originally under the title Leaving the OCD Circus ), I have heard from hundreds of readers all over the world who have shared with me the ways that the book has both helped and touched them in profound ways. It allowed them to get on with their big happy life much faster than I got on with mine. This book is my wellness soldier that I put out into the world, and Im excited to know that it has been doing its jobwith this new edition, it will continue t o do that.