Elizabeth Woodson - Embrace Your Life: How to Find Joy When the Life You Have is Not the Life You Hoped For

I have had the joy of knowing and ministering with Elizabeth Woodson for the better part of a decade. She lives what she writes in these pages. Each of us must come to terms with the distance between the life we pictured and the life we have. The wise Christ-follower navigates that gap with trustworthy disciplines that turn our hearts heavenward. Elizabeth offers up these tools not just as a faithful Bible teacher but as a faithful practitioner. Is longing your companion? Look here for help.

Jen Wilkin, author and Bible teacher

In her book Embrace Your Life , Elizabeth is honest and transparent, writing as a friend, as she shares her own journey with longing and the biblical truth that helped her be an overcomer. Elizabeths words are deeply rooted in Scripture and overflowing with practical wisdom. This book is a true gift and will encourage anyone of any age who is navigating a season of longing and disappointment.

Dr. Tony Evans, president, The Urban Alternative and senior pastor, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship

How are we to navigate the inevitable disappointments of life in a fallen world? Those seasons when we become painfully aware that life hasnt gone the way we thought it would? I have found over the years that the best guides are the ones who have been there alreadythe ones who have become acquainted with heartbreak and frustration but have not given in to bitterness. The ones who know anger and despair but are still marked by the peace that passes understanding and the unwavering joy of knowing they belong to Jesus. Elizabeth Woodson is such a guide. She is steeped in the Scriptures but doesnt give in to the vague spiritual sentimentalism that is often dishonest about how much disappointment hurts. Shes here to lift our heads, and she has had her head lifted by others. She is with us in this valley of longing, and writes with empathy and compassion while not being afraid to say what is true.

Matt Chandler, lead pastor, The Village Church

Copyright 2022 by Elizabeth Woodson

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-0877-4711-8

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.84

Subject Heading: CHRISTIAN LIFE / JOY AND SORROW / HOPE

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the English Standard Version. ESV Text Edition: 2016. Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture marked niv are taken from the New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Cover design by Matt Lehman. Cover photo by Roman Samborskyi/shutterstock. Author photo by Lindsey Shea Photography.

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For Evelyn McNeil Woodson, M.Ed.

Nana, you never gave up and never stopped chasing your dreams.

For Nono

You never stop fighting to live.

Acknowledgments

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for loving me, supporting me, and showing me that my best life is in Jesus.

Thank you, Jan, for believing in me.

Thank you, Erik, Ashley, and the B&H team, for making my words beautiful.

Thank you to the family and friends who prayed for me, listened to my ideas, and celebrated the writing of this book with me.

Embrace the Journey

D uring my first few years in Dallas, there was a womanwell call her Charlenewho was a part of my small group. Like other small groups you may have been a part of, we started off by sharing our life stories. When it was her turn, Charlene talked about how she was enduring a hard season in her marriagean overwhelming situation that was now spilling over into difficulty with her adult children. Hers was a story that included divorce, abuse, and now an estranged relationship with a son who had just had a baby with his girlfriend. Charlene was overwhelmed and hurt because he wouldnt let her see the baby. This particular evening shed had enough, and as she was talking about the latest experience of struggle she screamed out, This is not how my life was supposed to turn out. It wasnt supposed to be this way!

After the meeting ended, all I could think of was what Charlene had said. Her words were so honest and pregnant with pain. Unfortunately, my own story was full of this kind of painful disappointment. Whether it was a hard job experience or a romantic relationship that had soured, I knew what it was like to long for a life I didnt have. I knew what it was like to feel helpless, looking around at your life wondering, How did I get here? or thinking, I never thought life would turn out like this .

And you know what? I dont think this feeling of disappointment is unique to either me or Charlene. I think many people deal with it, including you. Its probably one of the reasons you chose to pick up this book.

The prolonged disappointment that you and Iand many othersexperience is what I like to call longingthe emotional response to the gap between the life you hoped for and the one you actually have. You and I have a set of expectations about how our lives should turn out. You may have expected marriage to be easy, expected to be able to conceive a child, or expected your hard work to turn into financial success. But when marriage is difficult (or nonexistent), infertility persists, or your business collapses, hope can feel so far away. In these moments, it seems as if life has disappointed you and left you with more questions than answers.

Like many experiences in life, longing presents all sorts of questions. But one particular problem with longing is that those questions tend not to have easy answers. And the hardest part is that we dont discover this until we exhaust ourselves by throwing quick fixes at our problems. Have you ever done this? Its the moment weve done so many Google searches to find an answer and finally reached that last page of resultsthat one that exists in some dark corner of the internetonly to realize theres no real solution there. Weve asked all our friends, pastors, or coworkers for help, only to receive pity or shallow band-aid statements to cover the wound. Lastly, weve asked God for help, a lot. But when prayer after prayer is not answered the way we want, we can become disillusioned, not knowing how to move forward or rebuild the dreams that have crumbled. This disillusionment can persist for a long time, causing our souls to become emotionally weary as we tire from the burden of carrying the weight of our despair.

Like I said, I know what it feels like because Ive been there.

Currently, Im a never-married single in my late thirties. Now, before you put this book down, know this is not a book about singleness. But over the years my singleness has taught me so much about the longing I believe we all experience. So before I dig into your stories, I thought it best to share my own.

Im not particularly sure when it got there, but marriage has always held a spot on my life goals list. I didnt think about when it would happen, but I always assumed at some point it would.

I graduated from high school with no high school sweetheart to potentially marry. I then went to college and graduated, still unmarried. I started working and got another degree, and was still as single as a dollar bill. Finally, I left my job, went to seminary, and then eventually got hired at a church where I led a ministry that was supposed to help single people get married. And the fruit of all that? You guessed it: I didnt get married.