Wendy Alsup - Companions in Suffering: Comfort for Times of Loss and Loneliness

Trillia J. Newbell

After four miscarriages, the death of my father and oldest sister, and a recent surgery that required six weeks of rest, the Lord has allowed me ample opportunity to experience the loneliness of suffering.

For almost anyone, six weeks of semi-bed rest while also being conscious would be difficult. It was six weeks during the summer with two busy children and a long list of deadlines. What was I going to do? I never had the opportunity to become anxious because, before I knew it, friends were pouring in to help. Im grateful beyond words for their swift care. I never said no to a single offer of help. From playdates for my kids to dinners for our dinner table, I said yes to it all.

But I havent always been this way. I used to think I didnt need the gifts, time, and generosity of others. I had to grow in understanding my weakness and need. I needed to learn the beauty of humility. If the gospel is about receiving from Christ, why would I not want to also receive from others? As Wendy Alsup recounts in this book, at times we who suffer can withdraw, say no to those who love us, and alienate ourselves in our grief and pain. But learning to receive has been a gift not only for my own soul but also for those around me.

Whether you are like me and learning to receive from others, walking through a dark night of the soul, or holding up the head of your suffering friend, Companions in Suffering offers insight and wisdom that will help you.

The Bible has a great deal to say about giving and receiving. The church in Philippi, in particular, is a wonderful example for how our gifts affect others and, in their case, how their partnership in the gospel assisted the apostle Paul on his mission (Philippians 4:14-20).

Paul realized what a gift it was for others to be able to give. He wrote, Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the profit that is increasing to your account (Philippians 4:17). Paul had been well supplied by the Philippians, but it wasnt their gifts alone that he wanted to acknowledge. He wanted their character to be highlighted and creditedtheir generosity was evidence of spiritual maturity and growth (2 Corinthians 9:5). It was their gain to give even more than it was Pauls to receive their gift.

Similarly, when someone asks if they might be able to serve us, it is their gain to give. The giver has a chance to exercise humility, practice hospitality, or give generously. It also enables the giver to trust the Lord for their own provision (Philippians 4:19), just as we are trusting the Lord to provide for us. Recognizing the joy and blessing for the person who gives can help us receive when we are in our own dark, lonely places. Paul, who was suffering and in prison, wrote that he could do all things through Jesus who strengthened him (Philippians 4:13), but then he shared, Still, you did well by partnering with me in my hardship (v. 14). Paul was weak, he was needy, and he knew where to run. Paul ultimately needed God, but he realized God used people as an extension of his grace to Paul in his time of need.

If you, like me, felt strong before your season of suffering, you might be tempted to think you can or should be able to do it all on our own. You may be afraid to appear weak. Either way, we must preach truth to our heartswhen we are weak, then we are strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-11). We dont need to try to be the hero in our own story. God is the herowe need only receive. And often God will use others as his hands and feet to provide exactly what we need. Receive from others, and as you do, you receive from the Lord.

Paul compares the gifts he received as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God (Philippians 4:18). References such as a fragrant offering or pleasing aroma are drawn from the Old Testament (e.g., Genesis 8:21; Exodus 29:18). Their sacrifices were pleasing to God just as the generous gifts of the Philippian church were pleasing to the Lord. The ultimate sacrifice pleasing to the Lord was Jesus Christ. Jesus made a way so that we will never have to sacrifice again for our salvation.

The gospel is that we receive as a free gift eternal life through Jesus, who gave his life for us. When we give cheerfully and generously, it is a reflection of that ultimate gift and is pleasing to the Lord. And consequently we simply receive this free gift given by God. What an amazing exchange! As we give and receive, we are reflecting the gospel, which is all about the work of Jesus, who gave his life for us so we might receive eternal life.

In the words that follow, Wendy writes with vulnerability and wisdom of how we can receive spiritual refreshment through others and Gods Word. She helps us find the companions God has given to walk with us through the long, dark night of the soul. Wendy takes us through the Scriptures to help us see that God has given us help, gifts, and companions to carry us through our suffering, including companions found right in the pages of Scripture. If you, like me, need to learn to receive from others, are walking through a long season of suffering, or are holding the hand of a suffering friend,