Fox Fisher - Trans Teen Survival Guide

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Contents

Chances are that the reason youre starting to read this book is because youre wondering if youre trans or not. Or that youve already figured out that youre trans and you need some more information. Or perhaps someone close to you might be trans. Were glad you decided that this book might be of help to you and we really hope it will be. It contains valuable information that we wish wed had access to when growing up, and its so amazing to be able to share this with you.

So, without further ado, lets try to figure out what being trans actually is and what that actually means. The trouble with providing definitions and ticking boxes is that it leads to oversimplification. There isnt a single definitive answer to the question of what it is to be trans, because there is no one way to be trans! There are so many trans people and they are so diverse that there isnt a universal experience that is more trans or truly trans. Gender is a complicated social construct, and trying to define it, or people within it, is quite hard! So let this be a guide or an offering of possibilities to what it might or might not mean to you. But just remember that ultimately its you who defines who you are, whether thats as a trans person or not. The short answer, though, is this: Trans people are people who dont identify with the gender that they were assigned at birth .

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The long answer is a bit more complicated. When we are born (and even before we are born) we are assigned a certain gender based on our sex . This means that when were born, medical professionals take a look at our genitals (gross, we know!), classify us as male or female and assign us the gender boy or girl according to what they see down below. In most cases, people are actually fine with this assignment (which means theyre cisgender . In the case of trans people, it isnt quite as simple. Its a bit like you signed up for a French class, but when you get there everyone is speaking Spanish. Something just isnt the way it should be. So essentially, being trans means that you arent actually the boy or the girl everyone seems to think you are. It means that your inner sense of self your gender identity is something different. Whether its that youre actually a girl, or a boy, or non binary (people who arent fully boys or girls), the main thing is that youre just not what most people seem to think you are. And thats pretty frustrating. In other words, its pretty annoying that just about everyone around you got it wrong and now youve got to correct all of them. But dont worry, well give you some advice on how to go about this in the next chapter.

Being trans is pretty straightforward, right? Youve known you are trans for as long as you can remember, youve always dressed up as the other gender, played with girls toys or boys toys as a kid and almost exclusively had playmates of the other gender. Then you come out, take hormones, have surgery and, hey presto, youre done!

Okayno, thats not exactly how it works. Its a lot more complicated than that. It takes time and effort and can actually be pretty hard sometimes. It doesnt really matter what toys you played with when you were younger or who your friends are, because being trans isnt really about your behaviour as a kid or who you hang out with. Its not about taking hormones or having certain surgeries, because different things work for different people and were all different. Its about you, and you alone. Its about what you want, regardless of anything else. There isnt a right way to be trans. There isnt a universal recipe that we all just follow. Just because you did certain things or didnt do them, or want or dont want certain things, it doesnt make you any less or more trans. Thats because trans people are all sorts of people, just like everyone else! Whats most important is to be yourself, whoever that might be and whatever that means. Trans people have such a wide range of identities and expressions that you shouldnt be tied down to categories.

There isnt really a universal answer that we can give you that will tell you the ultimate truth of whether youre trans or not. Its not as easy as taking a quiz online that will decide your entire future (you can probably google some quizzes, but were not guaranteeing their accuracy). Youre the only one who can really know and youre the only one who has a say about it. No one can really tell you how you feel inside. Its something youve got to figure out and come to terms with. Just know that youre certainly not the only one and that there are so many of us out there willing to support you. If youre questioning your gender or think you might be trans, we recommend you reach out to a support group in your area and try to talk to people close to you if you feel safe to do so. There are also many trans people online on different social media platforms (such as Instagram, Tumblr and YouTube) who are telling their stories. Try checking some of them out and see if their experience resonates with you.

Our entire being is often limited by ideas of sex and gender. Trying to break away from the sex and gender that was assigned to us at birth can often be very difficult. If were already losing you here, dont worry. We will start with a few basics in .

In this chapter we will look into the ideas, values and norms that are behind gender roles and gender in society today. While it is widely accepted (especially within Social Studies) that gender is a social construct, it doesnt mean that it has no effect in society and doesnt have very real consequences. In fact, gender is perhaps one of the most persistent and well-rooted social constructs in our society and affects almost every single part of it. Our entire social reality is based around gender and how people are treated in society. So in order to understand gender a little better, its good to talk about the ideas that it stems from.

If it were possible to explain gender in such a way that everyone could understand and agree, thatd be pretty awesome. But actually its impossible. Gender is really a tangled web of so many different things. Gender isnt the same for everyone, and ideas about gender and gender roles change with time, between countries and between cultures. There are so many different ideas about what gender is that its impossible to find just one definition of what it actually is and the effects it has. So instead of offering a comprehensive guide to what gender is, lets talk about what gender can be.

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In order to understand the concept of gender, its important to understand the concept of sex (or sex characteristics ) and the difference between the two concepts. Sex refers to our body, our parts and all the things that have to do with our sex characteristics. This means genitals, hormone production, chromosomes, reproductive organs and so on. Usually people are categorised as male, female or intersex . Male usually refers to those born with a penis, testicles and XY chromosomes. Female refers to those born with a vagina, ovaries, uterus and XX chromosomes. Intersex people are those who fall into neither of these categories their sex characteristics somehow challenge these categories, whether that has to do with genitalia, chromosomes, reproductive organs or hormone production. There are over 40 different variations, so despite people claiming that sex is very simple and clear cut, its actually super diverse! What is important to note is that even though our sex characteristics are a physical fact, the categorisation of them is not . These categories are of course created by us humans and are used to simplify or categorise people based on certain physical attributes. While this can be useful in many respects, problems arise when we not only assign people a sex but a gender based on that sex. This is where the game gets complicated!