Laura Story - I Give Up: The Secret Joy of a Surrendered Life

ALSO BY LAURA STORY

When God Doesnt Fix It: Lessons You Never

Wanted to Learn, Truths You Cant Live Without

What If Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops?

2019 Laura Story Elvington

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ISBN 978-0-7852-2630-7 (eBook)

ISBN 978-0-7852-2629-1 (TP)

Epub Edition June 2019 9780785226307

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Story, Laura, 1978- author.

Title: I give up : the secret joy of a surrendered life / Laura Story, with Leigh McLeroy.

Description: Nashville : W. Publishing Group, 2019. |

Identifiers: LCCN 2019009001 (print) | LCCN 2019017313 (ebook) | ISBN 9780785226307 (E-book) | ISBN 9780785226291 (softcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Submissiveness--Religious aspects--Christianity.

Classification: LCC BV4647.A25 (ebook) | LCC BV4647.A25 S76 2019 (print) | DDC 248.4--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019009001

Printed in the United States of America

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I Give Up

I belong, I belong

To the maker of earth and seas

Whos as rich as a King

Yet so gentle and kind towards me

I am not cared for by a servant hired

But a Shepherd who would leave the ninety-nine

So when I give up, I gain

When I let go of having my own way

When I learn to see my surrender as a brand-new start

To know the fullness of my Fathers heart

I will rest, I will rest

Not in worldly security

Not in what I may try to control thats controlling me

What if faith is simpler than Ive made it be

Just a simple trusting in your love for me

So heres my life to take,

Though youve heard this prayer a thousand other days

Make this moment more than just empty words I say

Let it be a start

To know the fullness of my Fathers heart

Contents

A dozen or so years ago, when Martin and I were newlyweds, we survived what we imagined to be the biggest trial wed ever face. Martin was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

We had just moved to Atlanta from South Carolina and had only been married a short time. I was beginning a job with Perimeter Church as a worship leader, and Martin was enrolled in a great masters program in design.

Looking back, I realize we believed our time in Atlanta would be short. Once Martin graduated with his masters degree, wed move back to South Carolina to be close to our families, then start a family of our own. Even if we didnt say so or put it down on paper, we had an X-marks-the-spot plan for our lives and believed God would get us there in the not too distant future.

For a while things seemed to be going very well. We were adjusting to our new city and our new roles, making new friends and learning new skills. Then Martin began to have trouble staying awake. He even fell asleep once while he was driving, and again on a ski lift! His studies became too much for him to keep up with. My husband is smarta far better student than I ever was. He was failing classes he normally would have aced. He could hardly stay awake to study and had little energy for even routine stuff. Other times his behavior just seemed odd. Hed ask me strange questions or forget really ordinary things, like whether or not wed just unloaded the dishwasher.

We soughtand gotplenty of well-meaning advice: Your husband needs counseling. Hes just distractedor lazy. Have you considered that it might be depression or some other form of mental illness? Wed considered a lot of things. But we had zero answers. When we did meet together with a counselor, he told us that he didnt believe Martins problem was related to any sort of mental illness. He thought it might be something physical instead.

So we made an appointment with a kind general practitioner recommended by a friend. She examined Martin and ran a battery of tests, but those were inconclusive. She recommended more testing and mentioned something about Martins thyroid or his pituitary gland. We agreed to the proceduresa CT scan and an MRIto see if those might point to something definitive.

I was out of town attending a worship conference with my Perimeter coworkers when the results came. The news was not good. Hearing your husband has a brain tumor is devastating. Seeing him struggle to do ordinary things is terrifying. The diagnosis was not what we had hoped for, but at least we knew for certain what was wrong.

I was frightened; I wont lie. But I pretty quickly transitioned into get-it-done mode. Well get through this. Martin will have the surgery he needs to remove the tumor, and then well get on with our lives, just like before.