Rich Wilkerson Jr. - Friend of Sinners: Why Jesus Cares More About Relationship Than Perfection

CONTENTS

I didnt really have a nickname as a childI was Richie until high school, then Rich ever since. There was one exception, though. On the desperate battleground that was junior high dodgeball, I earned a nickname Im still rather proud of: Richie Rampage.

It wasnt just a nickname. It was more of an alter ego. A superpower, even. When the game started, I was always calm, cool, suave. But when the competition hit a certain level, something inside me would snap. My friends could always tell the moment it happened. Look out, Richie Rampage is back!

My eyes would narrow. My senses would become heightened. Any trace of humor or humanity would disappear. I was a machine, a survivor, a pro. Suddenly, I could catch every ball thrown my way, and I could fire the ball back with insane precision and speed. My opponents could only limp off, bruised and beaten.

Time and wishful thinking have probably exaggerated the legend of Richie Rampage, to be honest. But my nickname communicated something about me, about how people saw me. Thats the nature of nicknames. What people call you says a lot about how they perceive you. And sometimes their perception can be very revealing.

Jesus was called a lot of names. All he did was love and help people, yet he had his share of bullies and critics. Many of the religious leaders of the day were jealous of his success and afraid he would upset the status quo. They wanted to discredit him in the eyes of the public, so they said all sorts of crazy things about him. They whispered that he was an illegitimate child. They accused him of being demon-possessed. They denounced him to the Roman authorities as a rioter, a threat to public peace.

Jesus didnt deserve the hate, but it turns out one of their nicknames for him was true. They called him a friend of tax collectors and sinners (Luke 7:34 ESV). In their minds, that was one of the greatest indictments imaginable. Jesus hung out with bad people, therefore he must be bad too. That was their logic.

But for Jesus, the title Friend of Sinners was a sign of success, not a source of shame. I can imagine him smiling the first time he heard the phrase. Friend of sinners? Ill take that as a compliment. Why? Because it was the very definition of his mission.

I cant stop thinking about what Jesus nickname means for me, for my friends, and for humanity today. What kind of God labels himself a friend of sinners? I could believe judge of sinners; I could even believe Savior of sinners. But friend? Really?

The goal of this book is to discover the implications of this concept for you and me. Friendship is far more important to God than we often realize. We tend to think he puts top priority on performance, purity, and perfection, and we assume relationship is the eventual reward for those things. In other words, the more like Jesus we become, the closer our relationship with him will be. Actually, it works the other way around. The closer we get to Jesus, the more like him we become. Relationship comes first; change comes later. Hence the subtitle of this book: Why Jesus Cares More About Relationship Than Perfection.

Unfortunately, many people who consider themselves Christians and followers of Jesus mix up the order. We often try to correct people before we connect with people. Not Jesus. As we read about his life and listen to his teachings, we see time and time again a man who went out of his way to befriend people who had been ostracized, labeled, and rejected by society. Many of those people eventually became world-famous leaders in the Christian church. Some of them became writers of the New Testament. Some of them gave their lives for Jesus. What happened? What transformed them? They were friends of Jesus, and their lives were inevitably and irrevocably changed as a result.

This book is divided into three parts. Part 1, Christ, describes Jesus and his message of grace. This is the foundation for everything, because until we understand how extravagant his grace isand how much we all need itwe wont understand why he can be a friend of sinners. Part 2, Culture, describes Gods heart of love for the world. God is obsessed with lost people, and that passion drives his initiative to find and aid those who are lost. Part 3, Church, is about the mission of everyone who has become a friend of Jesus to share his love with a world in need. This is the logical result of understanding Jesus message of grace and Gods heart for the lost. When we realize how much God has done for us and how much he loves the world, we will find ourselves opening our hearts and lives to hurting people.

Oscar Wilde, the famous nineteenth-century playwright, once wrote, Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. In other words, even the best person needs humility, and even the worst person has hope. God cares about everyone, regardless of where they are on their journey: spiritually mature or seeker, devout or in doubt, religious or simply curious. All of us need him, and all of us can find him. Whether we consider ourselves saints or sinners, Jesus wants to be our friend. Lets take a look at what that means.

A few years ago my wife, DawnCher, surprised me with a special gift for my twenty-seventh birthday. Now, let me preface this story by mentioning that DawnCher loves surprises. She likes being surprised, but she especially loves planning surprises for others.

I, on the other hand, hate being surprised. Down deep, I have a compulsive desire to be in control. I like to have a clear plan. So surprises arent really my thing.

Anyway, DawnCher came home from work and handed me a box. Babe, I got you the best gift! She was clearly excited.

I said, Whatdid you wrap yourself up, girl?

She ignored me, which is one of her spiritual gifts. Open the box. Youre going to love it!

I unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside was a piece of paper she had designed and printed. It said, In two weeks Im taking you to the Kings of Leon concert at the Bank Atlantic Center.

I was pumped. They are one of our favorite bands, and I couldnt wait to see them live. Finallya surprise I could get excited about!

For the next two weeks, we did what people do when they are anticipating something. We talked about it every day. Eleven more days until the Kings! We told our friends about it, and we insisted they pretend to be excited for us. We sang their songs. You know that I could use somebody.

Finally, the day arrived. DawnCher had carefully crafted and curated the evening. She took me to our favorite Mexican restaurant for a pre-concert dinner date. We had decided to skip the opening act, and she had everything timed perfectly so we could go straight from our romantic dinner to the arena, just in time for the headliner.

Dinner was magical. We laughed and enjoyed each others company over tacos, salsa, and chips. When 8:00 p.m. rolled around, we knew we had to get going to make it on time. On the drive to the venue, we blasted Kings of Leon songs on the stereo and sang every lyric at the top of our lungs. We were flirting with each other. There was so much love in the air. This was going to be the most amazing evening ever. Our expectations had reached epic heights as we exited the freeway and approached the parking lot at the Bank Atlantic Center.

To our surprise, the parking lot was deserted. My first thought was, Wow, I thought this band had a bigger following than this.

DawnCher said, I think somethings wrong.

No, this is going to be great! Im not one to give up easily. Lets park the car and go in.