Shay Allie - How To Be Captivating

When a baby is born, its crying, yet everyone around it is smiling. Live so that you die smiling and leave everyone around you crying.

Saquina Sacoor Ahmad

Nan was one of the most captivating presences I have ever had the privilege to know. At the end of her life, she was the oldest surviving member of the relatively well-known Sacoor family. Her journey through life started though in Jangamo, Mozambique which sadly faced great unrest in the 1970s. On attempting to flee the country, Nan had a devastating accident. The car rolled down a cliff top, left in a complete wreck. She had to have stitches to her head and was paralysed from neck to toe. She was rescued from the wreckage, but was classified as paraplegic and was told that she would never walk again. Instead of a spine, she had screws and metal holding her together.

Nan decided that she didnt like her prognosis. She also decided that she was meant to walk and that she was meant to live life to the full. She asked the physiotherapists to teach her how to walk. They refused, but eventually watched in disbelief as she took her first few steps.

She moved to London a mere two years later. She had an appointment at a leading London hospital. On meeting the doctor, he was convinced he had the wrong patient notes. Nan had arrived at hospital, on public transport, without so much as a walking stick to help her. He was speechless.

Nan died when she decided it was her time to go, over 40 years later. Her funeral was attended by many who were crying. Despite the tears, she had a smile on her face as she was laid to rest. She had indeed touched many with her gifts of wisdom, strength, coupled with her glamour and vivacity.

I always like to tell people that I take after Nan. Unlike her, Im happy to say that I grew up in London with no civil unrest or car accidents. I dreamed, like most little children, of what I wanted to be when I grew up. To some kids that usually meant being a princess, a popstar or a footballer. To me, it meant being a barrister; a woman with the gift of the gab and the ability to defend the needy. It never occurred to me that the career was near impossible to get into, and one where, even if youve qualified, you stand a less than 20% chance of permanent work in the industry. It also never occurred to me that being young, feminine, attractive, and an ethnic mish-mash, didnt exactly fit the mold of a typical barrister. Anything but success was not an option, and I would naturally delete from my mind the opinions of others who would tell me otherwise. And you know what? Landing my first job, with what remains one of the top ranked barristers chambers in the UK, came almost effortlessly. How? I jokingly tell people that I relied on my charm and good looks, which always raises a smile, but there is more truth in that statement than youd first expect. Now, I want to share with everyone the real success formula. Whether you wish for health, your ideal career or the lover of your dreams, you need one key ingredient: a captivating presence.

Someone with a captivating presence turns heads the moment they walk into a room. They know exactly how to draw and keep someones attention. In short, a captivating presence makes you absolutely magnetic. Do you think that sort of magnetism is reserved for only the Oprahs or the Marilyn Monroes of this world? The good news is that ANYONE can have a captivating presence, no matter what your weight, job, passions, age or musical taste. Throughout this book, youll learn how to switch ON your own personal brand of magnetism within you, so that the YOU people meet is the one that you really want them to see, the one that is completely captivating.

Throughout this book, we are going to work together to make sure that you can: instantly boost your personal presence so that no matter what room you walk into, not only do you absolutely shine, but you consistently keep everyone captivated. You owe it to yourself, and the world, to die smiling with the world around you crying for the loss of you.

PART 1

BEING CAPTIVATING: THE MINDSET

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? youre a child of God. Your playing small doesnt serve the world. Theres nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, quoted in Nelson Mandelas inaugural speech in 1994.