Neil T. Anderson - The Power of Presence: A Love Story

Text copyright 2016 Neil T. Anderson
This edition copyright 2016 Lion Hudson

The right of Neil T. Anderson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Monarch Books
an imprint of
Lion Hudson plc
Wilkinson House, Jordan Hill Road,
Oxford OX2 8DR, England
Email: monarch@lionhudson.com
www.lionhudson.com/monarch

ISBN 978 0 85721 731 8
e-ISBN 978 0 85721 732 5

First edition 2016

Acknowledgments
Scripture quotations taken from are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV) copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Cover image Franziska Ritter/imageBROKER/Corbis

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Contents

Foreword

If you were a renowned author whose books had been read by millions; if you had founded a successful Christian ministry and had the large conferences, films, publishing deals, and international travel that go with that; if you had seen God work through you to radically transform countless lives would you be prepared to give it all up if God said so? And if you did give it up, can you imagine that you could possibly be happy with the turn your life had taken?

I have had the immense privilege of being friends with Neil and Joanne Anderson for the best part of twenty years. I have observed at close quarters how Joanne, a feisty lady of enormous intelligence and humor with an incredible gift for godly discernment, succumbed to dementia. And how Neil without a second thought dropped everything to care for her and, more importantly, to be with her.

This small volume is a beautiful love story that will move you deeply. You will enter into the story of Neil and Joanne Anderson and their life together. But beyond that you will see the story of your life and your ministry in a new light. You will gain a deeper appreciation of the relationship that your Creator and Savior longs to have with you, and realize afresh that He does not intend your life to be primarily about doing but about being .

I am so grateful to God for the message that He has given to the church through Neil and Joanne: that every Christian can take hold of their freedom in Christ and become a fruitful disciple of Jesus. As I lead Freedom in Christ Ministries, the ministry they founded, and see Neil spending day after day out of the limelight simply being with Joanne and yet genuinely content and more in love with her than ever, I see someone who is living out the message God gave him.

If you are in Christian ministry, I urge you to read this book. It will only take a couple of hours but the effect could last a lifetime as it helps you reevaluate the balance between being and doing .

If you find yourself in difficult life circumstances especially, perhaps, if you too are caring for a loved one this book will help you find comfort and rediscover the incredible purpose God has called you to.

And if you simply want to learn how to know Jesus better, you will not be disappointed.

Steve Goss

Executive Director

Freedom in Christ Ministries International

Acknowledgments

I want to thank Tony Collins for being a friend of Freedom in Christ Ministries. Tony has a storied career in Christian publishing and, sadly for us, is retiring. Publishing is a big industry, and associations with authors and ministry can be little more than business. With Tony it was friendship and ministry, while still being a good businessman. He also helped me and others to be better writers. Here is to you, Tony. May you have a well-deserved retirement, and many happy years of choosing the jobs you want to do, but dont feel you have to do.

Introduction

Earth to Neil! Earth to Neil! Youre out in your garden again . I always wondered how she knew when I was present in body, but absent in spirit. Joanne was frustratingly accurate in her discernment when my mind was somewhere else. Many were the nights when I heard from the other half of the bed we shared for nearly fifty years, Turn off your brain, Anderson! How did she know that I was rewriting a chapter in one of my books? She is the most discerning person I know, which has proven invaluable for the kind of ministry God has called us to.

Now Im sitting in silence in a skilled nursing/ long-term care facility. Agitated dementia has been slowly eating away Joannes brain, which makes it hard for her sensitive mind to function well. She read two to three books a week for many years, but now she cant remember what medicine she took ten minutes ago. I suspended all international travel three years ago so we could have some time together. Ministry had dominated our life for most of those fifty years, which prompted her to ask, When is it our time? Our time turned out to be very different from what we planned, but not what God planned.

She seldom asks about our children or grandchildren, whom she loved. She doesnt want any visitors, except me. The only thing that brightens her day is when I walk into her private room, which I do at least twice daily. As I walk through the door, and before she sees me, I say, Beep! Beep! Instantly, she knows its me, and says, Oh Daddy. Only in the last six months has she called me Daddy, and there is only one human being on this planet that can fulfill that need for her.

We dont talk much, because it takes too much energy. I have become keenly aware that God is using Joannes illness to teach me about the power of presence. Im learning on a much deeper level the purpose of just being there, and what it means to be still and know that He is God. Being alone with my soulmate, best friend, and lover is not a come down for one who has traveled the world. It has been a come up. There is an inexplicable peace that comes from knowing I dont have to do in order to be in Gods will to be in His presence to be in each others presence.

Many have noted that the caregiver of one suffering from dementia or Alzheimers disease is the one who actually suffers the most. For the first two and a half years I took care of Joanne at home. Doing so is a twenty-four-hour, seven-day-a-week job that progressively gets more difficult. It is like raising a child who is regressing rather than maturing. Instead of potty training, one has to cope with incontinence. She has always been such a modest lady; I desperately wanted to spare her from all the indignities that come from the loss of control, but I couldnt. At the skilled nursing facility she strongly prefers that I do her bathing and grooming, which I do. I know it sounds strange, but that is our time together. Its my presence she longs for. She has my full attention. There are no more earth to Neils.

In our retirement there have been no day trips, vacations, movies, or dining out. It sounds bleak, but in all honesty I can say that it hasnt been. In fact, it has been a peaceful time of reflection upon the presence of God, and how that has shaped me, our marriage, and ministry. My theology tells me that God is omnipresent; however, we are not always aware of His presence, and yet without His presence we are not fully alive.

What we call socials or fellowship usually falls far short of the spiritual union implied in koinonia . A civil union between two people is not the same as a marriage where two become one in Christ. Most celebrants at the Lords Table are falling far short of the communion God wants to have with His children. In fact, words cannot capture the essence of what it means to be fully in communion with God and others. It is not a location or an activity. It is a state of being a mingling together of one anothers presence.