Deborah E. Gorton - Embracing Uncomfortable: Facing Our Fears While Pursuing Our Purpose

When someone is able to make complicated topics simple, I always listen! And thats exactly what Dr. Deb does. Not only does she walk us through what she knows, she lives out her words and thats more important to me than any knowledge she possesses. Im so excited for this book to get into the world!

BIANCA JUAREZ OLTHOFF

Teacher, preacher, and bestselling author of How to Have Your Life Not Suck

Why is it so easy to get knocked off course and so hard to say no to the things that keep us there? Enter this incredible book. Perhaps the best book Ive read, period, to powerfully guide someone out of the easy places and choices that get us nowhere. And to guide us instead through the uncomfortable places. The ones that really can bring genuine change toward what we really want and need most in life. Life is hard. This book can show you how to quit making it harder and actually reach those places of purpose, happiness, and rest you thought were out of reach.

JOHN TRENT

President, StrongFamilies.com; author of LifeMapping and coauthor of The Blessing

Some messages come to us too late, others may come too early. In these pages is a message right on time. You cannot overcome what you are unwilling to encounter. Just how to do that is the gift Dr. Gorton bequests to us in this expertly written narrative Embracing Uncomfortable. Read it and rejoice.

CHARLIE DATES

Senior Pastor, Progressive Baptist Church, Chicago; affiliate professor, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School

If you want to wake up every morning with a sense of purpose, you have to live ON purpose. Being intentional in that way means truly knowing what your purpose is. Deb Gorton is here to help with that!

ANITA PHILLIPS, LCSW-C

Founder, Turn the Light On Movement

Even though we may know God has a plan and purpose for our lives, many of us will forgo our purpose in order to remain in our comfort zone. In Embracing Uncomfortable, Deb Gorton invites us to push beyond our fears. She helps us to discover what is keeping us from our purpose and provides us with realistic solutions that will move us into our purpose zones. This book equips us with the tools we need to make our daily pursuit of purpose our lifestyle.

KIM ANTHONY

Author, speaker, host of the Unfavorable Odds podcast

2020 by
DEBORAH E. GORTON

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Some content in chapters 5, 7, 8, and 9 was adapted from the authors blog posts.

All stories involving clients have been altered and references are a combination of various stories to protect confidentiality.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Edited by Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse
Interior and cover design: Erik M. Peterson
Cover illustration of pencil pattern copyright 2015 by CSA-Printstock / istock (465531316). All rights reserved.
Author photo: Patricia Martinez

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Gorton, Deborah E., author.

Title: Embracing uncomfortable : facing our fears while pursuing our purpose / Deborah E. Gorton.

Description: Chicago : Northfield Publishing, 2020. | Includes bibliographical references. | Summary: We face thousands of choices between what is best and what is easier. When you learn to embrace the uncomfortable as a gateway to better things, everything changes. Discover the freedom that will fill your life when you begin to see discomfort as an important step toward reaching your goals-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019059133 (print) | LCCN 2019059134 (ebook) | ISBN 9780802419569 (paperback) | ISBN 9780802498458 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Goal (Psychology) | Self-actualization (Psychology)

Classification: LCC BF505.G6 .G67 2020 (print) | LCC BF505.G6 (ebook) | DDC 158.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019059133

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019059134

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To my mom.

You knew I had this in me long before I ever did. I miss you every day.

B y nature, most of us relish the comfortableuntil we realize that being comfortable does not always move us to our desired goals. I remember a young man who aspired to be a pilot, but he could not bring himself to leave his comfortable job and obtain the necessary training. Thus, he never became a pilot. Most physicians will acknowledge that medical school is not comfortable, but it is necessary if one is going to become a medical doctor.

To walk the easy road is ultimately impossible. Whether we have clear purpose and values, or simply are wandering without direction, difficult times will find us. How we respond to the uncomfortable times will greatly impact whether or not we will reach our potential in life.

Those who choose to run from the uncomfortable will likely wake up in an even more desperate situation. On the other hand, those who choose to embrace the uncomfortable, seek wisdom, and courageously walk through the pain will likely see the sun shine just beyond the present darkness.

When we face uncomfortable circumstances, discovering our purpose and values will greatly enhance our ability to make wise decisions. Without this clarity, we are left to our emotions of the moment, or to the advice of our peers who are also living without purpose and values. In this book, Dr. Deborah Gorton offers practical guidance for clarifying your purpose and values.

With these clearly in mind, you will be equipped to make wise decisions when faced with uncomfortable challenges. You will learn how to filter your emotions through the sieve of reason. Identifying your emotions is important, but more important is discovering the source of those emotions. Identifying the root from which our emotions emerge helps us evaluate their importance. We are all influenced by our emotions, but we need not be controlled by them.

Reading this book is like sitting with a seasoned counselor who wants to help you make the most of your life. You can embrace the uncomfortable seasons in your life.

GARY D. CHAPMAN, PhD

Author of The 5 Love Languages

T he hardest season of my life started when I was twenty-nine years old. My mother passed away unexpectedly, and the things that happened in my familyand in my own lifeafterward challenged the expectations I had held for the way relationships, decisions, and our pursuit of purpose should be approached. Growing up much older than my sister and brother, I looked forward to the time when my siblings caught up to me in the adult department, and our collective family relationships shifted closer toward the context of friendship and away from the framework of caretaking. I dreamt of the day when my parents no longer labored under the daily practical responsibilities of raising kids, and we could enjoy the experiences of celebrating one anothers milestone life achievementsgetting married, having kids, buying the first house. Being adults together.