Julia Marie Hogan - Its OK to Start with You

Endorsements for Its OK to Start with You

Take a deep breath, relax, and dive into a book that will bring you perspective and peace! Julia Hogan offers a meaningful, faithful, and well-balanced approach to self-care that we all need as beloved children of God. For years, Ive longed for a book to recommend to women that discusses self-care within the Catholic worldview. This is that book. Leah Darrow, author of The Other Side of Beauty

In an age that often considers self-care to be an extended form of selfishness, Julia Hogan does a great service to her profession, her clients, and her readers by articulating the keys to achieving a balanced and flourishing lifestyle. She approaches her subject in a way that integrates the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical components of human life. Based in large part on St. John Paul IIs understanding of the human person, she provides a practical guide to self-care anchored in timeless insights that lead to true happiness. Fr. Charles Sikorsky, J.D., J.C.L., L.C., president, Divine Mercy University

Most people cannot understand the difference between self-centeredness and self-care. In a world overrun and confused by narcissism, Julia Hogan has woven together a poignant exposition of the dignity with which we are created in the image of God and the goodness and responsibility we have to show ourselves due reverence in caring for ourselves. We cant give what we dont have, and everyone from healing professionals to ministry leaders to the average man or woman can benefit from her words. Dr. Greg Bottaro, author of The Mindful Catholic and director of the CatholicPsych Institute

Part fairy-godmother, part psychologist, Julia Hogan reminds us what self-care actually looks like (hint: it doesnt translate to an indulgent trip to the spa). This is more than just a book: its a guide that will help you uncover what real balance means, helping you tap into your own transformative powers. Maria Walley, relationships editor at Verily magazine

Its OK to Start with You

Julia Marie Hogan, MS, LCPC

www.osv.com

Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division

Our Sunday Visitor, Inc,

Huntington, Indiana 46750

Except where noted, the Scripture citations used in this work are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright 1965, 1966, 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.

Copyright 2018 by Julia Marie Hogan. Published 2018.

23 22 21 20 19 182 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit: www.osv.com/permissions.

Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division

Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.

200 Noll Plaza

Huntington, IN 46750

1-800-348-2440

ISBN: 978-1-68192-205-8 (Inventory No. T1911)

eISBN: 978-1-68192-206-5

LCCN: 2018935369

Cover and interior design: Lindsey Riesen

Cover art: Shutterstock

Interior art: Shutterstock

Printed in the United States of America

About the Author

Julia Marie Hogan is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Chicago. In addition to her work as a psychotherapist, she leads workshops and writes on topics related to self-care, relationships, and mental health. She is passionate about empowering individuals to be their most authentic selves. You can find more of her writing online at Verily. She completed her Masters in Clinical Psychology at the Institute for the Psychological Sciences in Arlington, Virginia. For more information, please visit juliamariehogan.com.

Dedication

To my parents and my sister, who have always encouraged me to pave my own path, cultivate my talents, and share them with others.

Disclaimer

This book is meant to be for informational purposes only. It is not meant to serve as a substitute for professional medical or psychological help. Please check with a healthcare professional before making any diet, exercise, or other lifestyle changes. If you are in crisis, contact your nearest emergency medical center.

All identifying information in the case examples in this work have been changed. All individuals mentioned in this book are a combination of many clients and do not refer to one particular client, or were created for illustrative purposes.

Table of Contents

Introduction

I remind myself to be kind to myself, and as slightly ridiculous as it may sound, to treat myself in the same gentle way Id want to treat a daughter of mine. It really helps.

Emma Stone, actress

Self-care is a term therapists toss around on a daily basis, but not many people outside the world of therapy have a good sense of what it means. Too often its mistakenly viewed as an excuse to behave selfishly.

My goal in this book is to challenge that misconception and provide you with the understanding and the tools to create a balanced self-care plan a plan that will transform your life. Why is self-care so important? Most of us rush through each day running on fumes, fitting in meals where we can or while on the go if we remember to eat at all getting little sleep, and feeling perpetually behind. Its not a very fulfilling way to live.

When we arent our best selves, it shows. Think about it: When youre exhausted and overwhelmed, you simply cant be the friend, family member, significant other, coworker, or boss that you want to be. Even worse, neglecting our well-being makes it nearly impossible to live life as authentic Christians, because we arent caring for ourselves the way God calls us to. After all, Jesus tells us to love your neighbor as yourself (Mt 22:39, emphasis added).

Its far too easy to come up with excuses for not taking care of ourselves. We dont have time. Other people (our families, our children, our colleagues, our friends) need us, and we want to be there for them. We put a lot of other things ahead of our own well-being, often because we think we have no choice. After all, this is what being a good person demands of us, right? Of course, we do need to love our neighbor, but we cant do that if we arent laying the foundation through the habits of self-care. And to lay that foundation properly, we need to be okay with ourselves and with taking care of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

Starting with your own well-being gives you the road map you need to become your best self. When you recognize that youre worth taking care of, your priorities shift and become clearer. Nourishing your own well-being frees you to be your best self for others in the specific way that God has called you to, whether thats as a parent, a spouse, a coworker, or a friend.

Authentic self-care is anything but selfish. Its a disciplined way of life that lays the groundwork for everything else, from your work to your relationships. As you read this book, youll learn tips and tools for prioritizing your well-being in a healthy way, not only for your own good, but so that you can be more fully present and available to others.