Renita D. Alexander - Just Breathe: Leading Myself One Breath at a Time

JUST
BREATHE

Leading Myself One Breath at a Time

Renita D. Alexander

Copyright 2019 by Renita D. Alexander.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery Getty Images.

All Scripture quotations are taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Website

Rev. date: 03/11/2022

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Table of Contents

To Yvonne Pacheco

Thanks for the great idea

O UR MAGNIFICENTLY COMPLEX bodies function without our conscious input. Unless injured or somehow compromised, the interdependent systems of our bodies and our major and minor organs all do what they are created to do with no prompting from us. We can, however, consciously use our breath to affect us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, breathing is the one function you can perform consciously as well as unconsciously. Conscious or controlled breathing can, for example, slow down our heart rate, help us center our minds on the present moment, and prepare us to embrace what we are experiencing.

I was introduced to the benefits of conscious breathing through meditation. Whether I was using mindfulness (paying attention) or a mantra (repeating a word) or just focusing on controlling my breath, I noticed the immediate benefits. I started intentionally choosing words and phrases to evoke the thoughts and feelings I wanted to have while controlling my breath after being exposed to the concept during a guided meditation. The intentionality of combining conscious breathing with conscious thoughts seemed a natural progression. I found inhaling words that represented what I wanted and exhaling what I didnt want actually helped me focus my intention for the meditation.

I started using this conscious combo to help my coaching clients get ready for a session or to focus on a specific issue. For example, I saw how encouraging a client to consciously inhale peace and exhale anxiety, while controlling his breath created a sense of calm if he felt rushed.

I started sharing the words on social media, and the idea for Just Breathe was born.

Just Breathe is organized by topics to help you lead yourself in a flow that made sense to me, but you can also use the alphabetized index to find the topic you may want to focus on. There are close to fifty themes spread over fifty-two sections, which are divided into intentionally short segments. Think of Just Breathe as a years worth of reflections one week and one weekday at a time.

Just Breathe can be used in a number of ways:

as a part of a devotional whenever you do that during your day or week

as a meditation to help you center yourself as you start or end your day

as a way to think about what you are thinking about

as a catalyst for growth and change.

One of my favorite conscious breathing techniques is box or square breathing. You can do this lying down or sitting up. To start, breathe normally for a few breaths and notice if youre engaging your lungs and abdomen. If your stomach is not rising that means your abdomen is not engaged so, take deeper breaths that allow it to rise. Once you are consistently engaging both your lungs and abdomen, you should feel your body start to relax.

Before you start, exhale. Start the pattern by inhaling through your nose to the count of 4. Hold your breath for 4 counts. Purse your lips and exhale through your mouth to the count of 4, really pressing the air out of your lungs and abdomen. Hold for 4 before you start the pattern again with a 4-count inhale.

One of the requirements of longevity is to share what you know. However you use Just Breathe , I pray you feel that intent.

I AM GRATEFUL for all my friends who encouraged me, all those who have inspired me with their own books and everyone who held me accountable to finishing this process. I am so grateful that my family allowed our intersecting stories to be included here. I am especially grateful for my daughter and travel partner, Renise Alexander. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and transparency in this process. I am inspired by your resilience and proud to be your mom.

T HE SUBTITLE OF every self-help book should probably be How I Helped Myself since the self is where the help starts and because no one can have all the answers for anyone else. But I believe the purpose of going through anything is to tell others how we got through. In Just Breathe , I share the challenges I faced in leading myself as well as the lessons I learned that allowed me to lead others.

I didnt start out to be political but many of the entries are my original blog posts written in reaction to the United States 2016 election cycle and the aftermath. If some entries seem pointedly political, then they accurately reflect my perception of an increasingly dystopian reality, my efforts to urge others to awareness and action, and my intention to stay grounded and rooted amid the challenges and chaos.

As I was organizing Just Breathe for publication, I saw a tweet from acclaimed spiritual life coach, and one of my favorite authors, Iyanla Vanzant, that used inhale , exhale in a way that is similar to how I use those words in the book. I immediately started to panic and created an entire story around why I would not be able to use the phrase; now that the host and executive producer of the Oprah Winfrey Networks Iyanla: Fix My Life had said it, everyone would think I had taken the idea and the words from her.

I was doing the exact thing I encourage my clients to avoid--making stuff up.

I was able to recognize what I was doing, show myself some compassion for panicking and celebrate the audacious idea that Iyanla Vanzant would know about my book, all while taking some slow, controlled breaths.

I reminded myself that using the breath to create a sense of calm is as common as breathingand yet it might still be new to the readers of this bookand that Just Breathe is my God-given gift to act on regardless of what others might be doing.

I pray that something Ive shared resonates with you.

L ETS START AT the only place and time we canhere and now.

Right Now

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift from God, thats why they call it the present. (Babatunde Olatunji)

This right here, right now moment is all we really have, so be in it. Right now is when action happens, so if youre worrying about what already happened, you wont see whats happening now. Right here is where connection is created; if youre not here, you might miss your cue. If you must focus on some past experience, make sure its filling you up, not draining you; lifting you up, not bringing you down; and getting you pumped up for what youre doing or about to do in the here and now.