Sophie Fletcher - Mindful Menopause: How to have a calm and positive menopause

For over 15 years Sophie has been a clinical hypnotherapist and Fellow of the National Council for Hypnotherapy. She specialises in our unconscious responses to change. Having written a thesis on psyche, symbolism and language for her Masters she went on to train in therapy focused on womens psychological well-being during the transitions of birth, motherhood and menopause. This is her third book and follows the bestselling Mindful Hypnobirthing and Mindful Mamma. She also contributed to the Here and Now audiobook. All her work is about creating simple, nurturing, practical tools for positive psychological change.

You can find and connect with Sophie online at www.mindfulmenopause.co.uk or on Instagram @mindful_menopause.

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First published by Vermilion in 2021

Copyright Sophie Fletcher 2021

Illustrations Michele Donnison 2021

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover Design by Emma Wells, Studio Nic&Lou

ISBN: 978-1-473-57299-7

The information in this book has been compiled as general guidance on the specific subjects addressed. It is not a substitute and not to be relied on for medical, healthcare or pharmaceutical professional advice. Please consult your GP before changing, stopping or starting any medical treatment. So far as the author is aware the information given is correct and up to date as at March 2021. Practice, laws and regulations all change and the reader should obtain up-to-date professional advice on any such issues. The author and publishers disclaim, as far as the law allows, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use or misuse of the information contained in this book.

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

WRITE-ON PAGES
Any references to writing in this book refer to the original printed version.
Readers should write on a separate piece of paper in these instances.

For you, yes you!

This book is dedicated to everything that you have done and everything you will continue to do that makes you the strong, wise and capable woman you are.

I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.

Mary Wollstonecraft

Teach us to care and not to care.

T.S. Eliot

This was a book I had to write. Ive worked in womens health, particularly around transitions, for the last 15 years. As I started to go through menopause myself, I discovered first-hand just how powerful the tools I use are for this life stage.

Many of the women I see in my practice are postmenopausal, or in the late stages of perimenopause (the transition stage leading up to menopause), but this isnt why they come to me. They often come for help with issues such as lack of sleep, weight gain and sudden onset anxiety. I quickly made the connection between the experiences that those women were having and their life stage. In working with them, I learned how individual each experience is.

I know from my own experience that preparation and knowledge are key to a good menopause. Its much easier to make those adjustments and changes when you know what is happening to your body and what you can do to support those changes in a positive way.

Thats not to say that there is a magic wand. I know how hard perimenopause can hit my hair fell out in handfuls, and at one point I had a monks crown! But people comment on my positive attitude, and its true that mindset makes all the difference. The impact of unconscious thoughts and feelings cannot be underestimated and how I thought about it helped me to respond to it.

In my early 40s, I knew that preparing by adapting and making lifestyle changes would benefit me in the long run. Some of these were simple self-care changes, but others were harder, like changing lifelong attitudes to diet and exercise. I also become disciplined in my meditation practice, something that had been harder as a new parent, but which was easier as my children grew into adults.

We tend to think of menopause as a very physical experience, and a lot of the time it is, but its so much more. Its a transition from one life stage to another. Like all transitions, it can be powerful and exhilarating, but also tough. There will be days when you just about stay afloat, knowing that day will pass. Experiences can be physical, emotional or spiritual and sometimes, all of those things, at the same time! No wonder its a roller-coaster.

Did you know that menopause, as medically defined, is just one day of your life? Its officially the 365th day after your last period. Often you might hear people say, Im going through the menopause and in truth if you have still had a period in the last 12 months, you are perimenopausal, which means around menopause.

Culturally we talk about perinatal mental well-being, so for the sake of clarity and continuity I will refer to perimenopausal well-being, menopausal transition, or the time around menopause. This book is about your well-being around menopause, whether that spans years or months up to that 365th day after your last period.

A menopausal transition isnt just a set of symptoms. In fact, in this book I dont use the word symptom. Instead, I refer to experiences or expressions of menopause. By doing this Im inviting you to reassess your menopausal transition as something that you have control over, experience by experience. It is all new each day that passes your hormones adjust and shift in different ways. Being tuned into this as a set of experiences creates a deeper connection with this transition to a new chapter. This is all about change changes to your body, your life and your mindset.

A lot of menopause books discuss hormonal changes, what medication to take, what food to eat and the type of exercise that will benefit you. Its wonderful that this information is out there and gaining traction as it is needed, but the big question for me has always been How? How do you make all those changes, when it sometimes means changing lifelong habits? How do you take all that information and make it part of your daily life without it feeling overwhelming? In this book Im going to show you the how.

You may know what you should eat and what exercise you need to do; you may understand the importance of reducing stress. But if, like me, you have a busy life, finding the time to do this, and to get your head into a place where its second nature, can be challenging.