Gregory Coles - Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity

Ten years agoonly ten short years ago it was impossible to find a book like this. I know because I tried.

For what felt like an agonizing length of time, I searched far and wide for a book like the one you now hold in your hands.

A book in which an author talked frankly about being gay, rather than ex-gay or just struggling with same-sex attraction.

A book in which an author described why and how one might choose to be gay and single, rather than gay affirming or theologically progressive or revisionist.

A book in which an author wrestled honestly with being gay, single, and Christianrather than formerly Christian or merely spiritual but not religious.

A book in which an author didnt just talk about having formerly lived a homosexual lifestyle (as if there were only one!) but one in which he narrated an ongoing experience of same-sex desire and all that goes along with that.

A book in which an author didnt just lay out the biblical case for traditional Christian marriage but also grappled with the dawning realization that, however much he might want such a marriage for himself, it didnt seem likely to be in his future.

A book in which an author told a story about what it felt like to be seeking to live in that awkward in-between space that Greg Coless title names with such beguiling simplicity: single, gay, Christian.

I ended up trying to write such a book myself, because my own life, like Gregs, is one of ongoing same-sex desire, voluntary singleness, and committed Christian faith. But I quickly learned, as my book found its way into the hands of many different readers, that not everyone who shares my circumstancesnot everyone who is single, gay, and Christianexperiences those circumstances in the same way or asks exactly the same questions or cherishes the same consolations.

It seems like an obvious point now, but it took me a while to feel its weight: not only did the Christian world need one book about being single, gay, and Christian, it needed dozens of books about itbecause there is no one way of living that complicated, multifaceted story.

And thats why I am grateful for Greg Coless searingly honest, beautifully written book. Im grateful for it because it offers exactly the sort of comfort and challenge I needed when I was just beginning to navigate life as a self-described gay Christian. But Im especially grateful for it because Gregs book will offer the sort of hope and insight that other gay Christians might not be able to find in my testimony. Im grateful for it because it offers one more snapshot of what a faithful gay Christian life might look like, and God knows we need as many such snapshots as we can get.

There are so many of us, from such varied cultures, races, Christian denominations, and family backgrounds, who have come out as gay and Christian in recent years. And each of us is seeking to learn, in our own way, how to flourish as we embrace intentional Christian singleness. We need stories like Gregs to remind us that there are as many ways to flourish in those circumstances as there are Christians who embrace them.

One of the early church fathers wrote wisely, Any theory divorced from living examples... is like an unbreathing statue. That pluralexamplesis vital. Thats why Im so glad for Gregs book: it offers one more example, one more story, one more urgent reminder that no ones story is interchangeable with or reducible to anyone elses. Its a timely, evocative reminder that each single, gay, Christian life is equally unique and precious.