Vishwas Pethe - Gay Crow

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT GAY CROW:

A page-turner...so much insight...a wonderful story.

Gary ONeil

Gripping...a really important story and one worth telling.

Sandip Roy

Unputdownable...truly amazing and unique...a lot of guts and courage.

Pramod Mahajan

The whole human condition captured in one incredible life.

Leonard Lane

Much more than a well-written story... it offers inspiration, hope, and courage.

Michael Konefal

I couldnt put it down. Cant wait for the movie!

Tony Angov

Absolutely heartwarming and inspiring.

MaxPaul Franklin

Brilliant! The man, the struggle, the story...all brilliant!

Amy Miller

Truth is stranger than fiction. To say that the author has overcome the most seemingly insurmountable of odds and has lived nothing short of an astounding life would be a gross understatement.

Just when you think the indignities, the considerable suffering that Vishwas goes through could not get worse, your senses are assaulted with something even more grim, even more sorrowful. But through it all, the Gay Crow keeps rising phoenix-like, a veritable cat with nine lives, the gay man brilliant enough to have never had to eat crow.

Written in a crisp conversational style with lucid prose, this heart-felt memoir never falls short of being a page-turner. A testament to human resilience, it will open your eyes to what a person is truly capable of. Above all, it will restore your faith in humanity.

Ninad Jog

Copyright 2021 Vishwas Pethe

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher using the contact form at www.GayCrow.com using the subject, Permissions request.

Developmental editing by Max J. Miller

Front cover image by Abhijit Kalan.

Back cover image painted by Vishwas Pethe

Cover design by Mario Lampic.

Copy editing by Diedre Hammond

First print edition 2021 (ISBN: 978-0-000000-0 [Paperback])

Printed by Amazon, Inc., in the United States of America.

www.GayCrow.com

To Joe Hennessy

for being my life force,

and to Mark Yapelli

for encouraging me

to write this memoir

There once was a kingdom ruled by a very unhappy king. One day, a visitor told the king about a gay (happy) crow who lived in the forest. Intrigued, the king sent soldiers to find the happy crow and throw him in jail. The soldiers reported to the king that, even in jail, the crow remained happy.

Cast him into the thorns, the king commanded.

But, even among the thorns, the crow sang and was happy.

Put him in a hot oven, the king ordered. And, if that doesnt make him unhappy, boil him in hot oil! Nothing seemed to turn the crow from his happiness.

Finally, the king relented and let the crow go free. The king declared to the people, Let us all be like this gay crow and find happiness in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.

. , ! :, - .. , , .. ! . !

. , : ?

, .

..

, .

- , - .

, .

- ..

.

Ive never met anyone like Vishwas before. When I met him, he was suicidal, but not really depressed. He often had thoughts of killing himself, but was always pleasant, joyful, and had an electric smile. Hes quite literally a genius, but he had a hard time comprehending why his suicidality hurts those who care about him. He laughed at the absurdity of societys prohibitions on him choosing to end his own life.

Vishwas should be dead. He should have died thirty years ago, and he should have died seventeen years ago, and he should have died thirteen years ago. He could have died when he had his stroke five years ago. If he had died when HIV was a death sentence in 1986, or when he had non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 2001, or when he was damn near out of T-cells in 2004, there would have been many mourners at his funeral, and people who loved him would have been hurting. They would have asked, Why? They would have missed him. If he succumbs to another stroke or dies from another ailment, or, hell, if hes hit by a bus in 2020, or 2025, or 2040, people will be hurting just the same. Im never more aware of mortality and the fact that death is a part of life, and that loved ones hurt and then move on in their own way, as I am when Im talking with Vishwas.

When I first met Vishwas, he told me he had decided he should die and would have killed himself if not for his husbands insistence he keep trying to live. He asked me to help him find a reason not to kill himself. Ive certainly talked to a lot of people who think about killing themselves, but I dont think anyones ever quite asked me for this. In so many words, he said, I have no reason to live, but my husband is making me try, so can you give me some reasons to live? If this sounds scary and baffling, thats because it is.

But I decided to trust the process. The process that my mentors have told me to believe in, and the process that Ive told my own mentees to believe in. I have faith in the idea that, if I allow myself to join another person, if I allow that person to open himself to me, that eventually well figure something out together that will allow them to feel better.

Being a therapist provides a conflict that I assumed I would have resolved by now, but that Im realizing is likely eternal: I am asked to help people, to fix people, to mend people, to enhance their lives, and to keep them here. But everything Ive ever learned about being a therapist, from the most important psychological minds to mentors and colleagues who I trust, has taught me that theres not that much therapists can really do.

So, with Vishwas, I was initially asked to figure out a way to keep him alive, to help him find a reason to live. All I was able to do was to give him my ear, give him my empathy, allow him to feel connected, and help him think through questions that he already knew the answers to on the inside. He knew it was helpful to see me, that it gave him a rare pleasure in his frustrating life, but he certainly did not think (nor did I) that there was any magnificent wisdom I could impart to ease his pain. But, nevertheless, he seemed to improve. He seemed to improve in concert with the construction of our relationship.

I remain hopeful that hell keep trying, keep engaging, and keep arduously struggling through tasks that are easy for me and I dont have to think about. He has led such a remarkable life that I regularly encouraged him to share his story with others. Im so delighted that he has taken up the challenge and Im honored that he chose to present his story in a condensed account of our time together. This memoir provides proof that life is not yet done with Vishwas, this matchless Gay Crow.

Carl, Psychologist