Elyse Fitzpatrick - Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety: Becoming a Woman of Faith and Confidence

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

Eugene, OR 97402

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Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Minneapolis, Minnesota

OVERCOMING FEAR, WORRY, AND ANXIETY

Copyright 2001 by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fitzpatrick, Elyse, 1950

Overcoming fear, worry, and anxiety / Elyse Fitzpatrick.

p. cm.

ISBN 0-7369-0589-8

1. Christian womenReligious life. 2. FearReligious aspectsChristianity.

I. Title.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America.

02 03 04 05 06 07 / BC-MS / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

Understanding Your Fears

The Source of Your Fears

Gods Answers to Your Fears

Every sentence in this book is a mere reflection of Gods mercy to me in surrounding me with godly people who know the truth and how it applies to life. Among these people are Jay E. Adams, George Scipione of The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship, the staff of The National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, The Biblical Counseling Foundation, and The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. Wherever this book is correct, it is simply a fusion of what Ive learned from them.

God also sent comfort to me in the form of friends who have consistently prayed for and encouraged me. Foremost among these friends are Anita Manata, Donna Turner, Julie Pascoe, Hannah and Barbara Duguid, Jason and Kristin Barrie, Betsy Smith, Bonnie Graham, and Eileen Scipione from IBCD, and the dear people at North City Presbyterian Church. As always, the staff of Evangelical Bible Book Store, particularly John Hickernell, has been of invaluable assistance. My editor, Steve Miller from Harvest House, is a valued friend and has been a constant source of encouragement.

The ones who have sacrificed most have been my family and particularly my patient and loving husband, Phil. Thank you, dear. James, Cody and Jessica, Joel and Ruth, and Wesley and Hayden have waited patiently while I spent hours locked in my office. Dear ones: If anyone is helped through this book, you can know that you had a part in it. And, of course, thanks again, Mom, for all your inspiration and helpful editing.

James, Joel, Cody, Wesley, and Hayden

May my sons and their sons be filled with the fear of the Lord

and stand strong in the truth that will enable them

to acquit themselves like men.

T he auditorium was filled with the proud parents of the most promising advanced drama students in the county. Backstage, members of each cast were hastily reviewing their lines, getting ready for their turn to compete.

Youre on next, said our teacher, Mrs. Archer. Just remember what weve worked on andbreak a leg. We all smiled at each other, knowing that the phrase break a leg was thespian-speak for good luck. We didnt think we needed luck; we had gone over our lines so many times that they seemed second nature to us. We felt confidentand why shouldnt we? After all we were the best. As the five of us, actors and actresses who were dramatizing Alices famous tea party, walked on stage, the crowd fell silent and the lights went up.

I just love a tea party, Alice said to me, the Mad Hatter. As she sat there looking at me, waiting for me to respond with my lines, something utterly shocking happened. I suddenly felt like I was watching the whole scene as a bystander everything became fuzzy and it seemed as though I was losing touch with reality. In the back of my mind, I knew I should be doing something. Wasnt there something I should say? As seconds that felt like hours ticked by, I became more and more disoriented. My hands were sweating and my heart was pounding. I felt like I was going to faint. Somewhere in the back of my mind I vaguely heard our teacher frantically whispering my lines to me from offstage. Was I supposed to say those lines? I couldnt even remember how to speak. Nothing that was happening around me made any sense.

I just love a tea party, Alice said again, this time glaring at me. I wanted to respond, to make her happy, but deep inside my heart I couldnt figure out what she wanted. I didnt know who I was or what I was doing out there with all those lights on me. The audience began to murmur. My fellow actors and actresses stared unbelievingly at me. I just sat there, at the end of the table, in a daze. Who was Iwhat was happening to me? All I could think of was how to escape. So I just stood up and wandered offstage. The rest of the cast, humiliated and angry, soon followed.

You know, I can vividly recall that scene even though it occurred more than 30 years ago. Its frozen in my mind along with all the other grand humiliations of my life. Id like to tell you that I went backstage, snapped out of it, and went on with our presentation, but that wouldnt be the truth. No, in fact, that was the end of my big chance at stardom, as well as some friendships in my drama class. That day I felt more like a Mad Hatter than I had ever wanted to.

Fear is incredibly powerful, isnt it? It can wipe out your memory and cause your heart to pound. In fact, it can paralyze you. It can cause a trained soldier to melt into a sobbing child just like the terrified infantryman in the movie Saving Private Ryan. He knew that he should get up and save his buddy but he felt completely unable to move.

As we spend time together looking at our fears and anxieties, Im going to share more of these moments with you both from my own life and the lives of others. From the grand humiliations to the nagging little anxieties that dance like specters around the edges of our thoughts, I want you to know that youre not alone. I know what it is to lay awake at night with that feeling of foreboding, thinking, Things are too good, this cant last, or Things are so awful, this will never change! I know what it is to worry, to feel the muscles tightening in my neck, and to feel my stomach churning. Ive spent days wrestling with the thought that