Thomas Sheridan - Puzzling People: The Labyrinth of the Psychopath

I once agreed to pick up friends from the airport. I was new in town and since I had no idea where I was going I allowed myself plenty of time to accomplish the journey. The airport was doing a lot of re-routing from construction, lots of weird turns inside the parking area, most of the signage down and so on and since I had plenty of time to spare I decided to play a little game. I thought I might picture where I wanted to be, and to imagine how it would feel to simply know which was the shortest route to the gate. I took left turns, right turns and detours, asking each time, Which way would I go if I knew where I was going?

I ended up next to an elevator. It felt like the right place to stop. I parked in an open spot, took the elevator up to the level that felt right and when the door opened, there I was perhaps ten feet away from the gate where my friends were due to exit the plane.

I first told this story to the author of this book, and now I am telling you. Owning the feeling is the same as trusting your instincts, and trusting your instincts is merely shorthand for trusting yourself.

Chances are, you were led to pick up this book because youve had an encounter that has changed your life. Chances are there were numerous opportunities to trust your feelings during the course of the relationship and chances are you didnt. Dont feel bad. I could tell you all about the number of times I have been lost in an airport carpark but that would probably make this book around ninety-five percent Foreword, and five percent actual book.

Red flags are our feelings telling us to pay attention. Red flags are the signage of our souls, an indication that something may be seriously out of alignment with the way we are communicating with the greater part of ourselves. We were not weak, we were not stupid, we were vulnerable, and the predator pounced. There was something in us that we felt was lacking that only this other person could ever fulfil and heres the thing: they sniff that out, that need we have, and then they move in for the kill.

Romantic films and love songs do us all a great disservice; the key to joy is learning that the more complete we can be in ourselves in self-trust, self-belief and self-love the more we attract into our lives other humans who are complete in themselves also. Then look out this is the truly magical moment when a relationship takes off and soars; two people who are together for the fun of enhancing each others lives, not to fill some hole or missing part in each others hearts.

The word infatuation is taken directly from the Latin infatuat meaning made foolish

and maybe thats the part that really hurts the most.

Its a funny old thing, infatuation. Love expands the soul, while infatuation shrinks the intellect and debases the currency of communication. Infatuation can make you feel so high, so good. It can make you do crazy things like leap tall buildings in a single bound, then taller ones, then still taller ones. It can make you walk on burning coals or believe anything you are told. Infatuation can make you do anything short of ram a rocket up your backside and light it to achieve that lift-off again, to once more feel the wonder of the incredible illusion that someone at long last sees the real you and loves you, not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are. It can be the most delicious feeling in the world, until the predator, the user, the taker, the abuser moves on.

If this is where you are now, you may want to kill. You may want to die. You may want to cut your own heart out to get rid of the pain. It may feel like your thoughts are thinking you, that you are losing your mind this is because you are detoxing.

Youve experienced a surge of dopamine rushing through your brain stimulating a cascade of shimmering pleasure. Norepinephrine kick-started the production of adrenaline that made your heart pound. The payoff of a phenethylamine-flooded nervous system was bliss. The primary sexual arousal hormone oxytocin mimicked the buildup of orgasm and subsequent feelings of emotional attachment. This chemical cocktail overcame critical faculties and left you defenceless to your emotional-high drug pusher.

The good news is there was never anything missing in your heart and soul, nor were you ever really lost. The moment you begin to embrace this then you will be ready to experience life enhancement by your own will, rather than life diminishment by anothers ill intent.

Are you ready for the journey of your lifetime? The entire reason for this book is to show that we the author and I know that you are.

Holly Ollivander

HEO

When the Demon Knocks at Your Door

A psychopath coming into your life will at first seem like the beginning of an eternal springtime. They will be everything you want them to be and more. Matters not what role they choose to become in your life: lover, politician, business partner, family member, co-worker or Good Samaritan. However, their ultimate agenda is always the same: to make you declare war upon yourself, on your mind, on your soul, on the very person you are meant to be. You will be divided in order to be conquered.

From the dizzying heights of golden promises and idealism bequeathed upon you, the psychopath will systematically downgrade your psychological sovereignty by manoeuvring you into an ever-tightening spiral of self-doubt and dependency, at the end of which is the annihilation of your true being, leaving only a facsimile of what you once were. You will be exploited for your physical and emotional energy reserves in the manner of a robber raiding a gold mine until you are emptied, then abandoned.

The psychopath will then casually walk away as though you never existed, all in order to do the same to another person, family, organisation or entire society.

The aim of this book is to teach you how to guard the precious treasure of your own soul.

Introduction

Know Thyself Know Thy Predator

Imagine you are a politician, or perhaps a housewife. An unemployed waiter, or the head of a major corporation. A television producer. A superficially self-righteous journalist. Maybe even a golf club committee member, a trade union activist, or perhaps the fun guy at the office who gets on with everyone and always has a cheeky smirk on his face.