Vicky Lynn Thomas - The Three-Strand Cord of Active Relational Christian Mentoring: Women mentoring women with Christ at the Center

Part I

Making a Difference Through Active Relational Christian Mentoring

Chapter 1

Making a Difference

Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble... A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:910, 12 (NLT)

Sophie couldnt believe the pain she was having. Lying there in bed, she couldnt even stand the bed sheet to touch her leg. The laparoscopic surgery was supposed to have been a simple procedure, but now her life was going to be very different. Had it only been three weeks since she fell off the table? How was she going to survive this constant pain?

Sophie and Chaz had gone to that party specifically to dance and have a little fun. Sophie loved to dance. But that night after a few drinks and losing some of her inhibitions, Sophie suddenly decided to dance on top of a single pedestal table close to the dance floor. She was having fun, until she felt the table start to tilt. Suddenly, she fell off the tottering table and crashed to the floor, tearing the meniscus in her right knee. Although at the time it hurt to walk, she never imagined she would be in this constant mind-numbing pain, which she would now have to endure for the rest of her life.

Sophie remembered she had awakened in excruciating pain in her right knee and leg from what was to have been a fairly simple laparoscopy surgery. At first, the doctor could not understand why she was in so much pain. Finally after many different pain meds and even psychological evaluations, the doctor called in specialists. Although rare, they finally diagnosed Sophie with reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome. She was told that sometimes after a trauma or surgery, the nerve endings continue to send out pain signals to the brain. The signals come so often that the brain interprets every little touch or breeze on the traumatized body part as being a pain signal. There was nothing that could be done about it. Sophie would have to learn to live with the pain.

A few months later, I met Sophie. Actually, Sophie reached out to me, because she had heard that I dealt with pain every day of my life. She wanted to know how I handled constant pain. So I invited Sophie over to our home to have coffee and talk. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a ten-year mentoring relationship. God had arranged for me to mentor Sophie and to set the stage for her to recognize that she needed a relationship with God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I no longer worked, so Sophie came to my house about once a week to talk. She needed a friend who could understand what she was going through. She needed empathy, but not sympathy. But she also needed Christ in her life. Being able to meet with her whenever she needed to talk was a great advantage.

I soon discovered that Sophie had been raised going to church on special occasions, but she had never heard about repentance or salvation. She knew nothing about asking Christ into her heart. Although, I didnt want to scare Sophie off with my deep convictions, at the same time, I wanted her to know that God and Christ are who help me every day of my life. I wanted her to know that she, too, could rely on God and Christ for strength, support, and comfort. But first she would need to be enlightened.

Sophie was a good person, but had been raised much more worldly than I. She quickly picked up on the difference in our upbringing. Sophie soon realized that I did not use bad words or tell off-color stories. At first, Sophie thought it was funny when I didnt get a joke or off-color story she told. Then she tried to embarrass me with certain stories and words, but she gradually realized that I was not going to change. I often thought she secretly hoped that I would slip and say something I shouldnt.

Over the next year or so, Sophie began to see that I had something she didnt have, which was an internal peace and joy that comes from knowing Christ as my Savior. The more I talked about God, the more questions Sophie had, and the more she wanted to hear. One day, with the Holy Spirits prompting, I asked Sophie if she knew Christ personally. She told me she did not know what that meant. As I explained what salvation was and how she too could have Gods wonderful gift of grace and mercy, I could see that it was something she was interested in. Even so, Sophie took her time in opening Christs gift and accepting it for herself.

Meanwhile Sophie began to search out other Christians and ask them about Christ. I discovered that every time she found out that someone was a Christian, she watched them for Christian behaviors. She also listened closely to what they said, listening to see if they really lived what they said. Sometimes, we would have discussions about people who claimed to be Christians but did not outwardly act like Christians.

At some point I learned that the discussions that Sophie and I were having about Christ were being shared with her husband, Chaz. Then, one night a few years later, Sophie called and said that she and Chaz had gone to hear Kirk Cameron of the Left Behind movies speak at a church in our area. She was so excited, for both she and her husband had asked Christ into their hearts that night. I was very thrilled for her. Although God did not choose to have me lead Sophie to Christ, He gave me the responsibility of planting the seeds and watering them so that when she was ready, the Holy Spirit would draw her to Christ. It took nearly seven years for Sophie to come to the realization that she needed and wanted Christ in her heart. Maybe she was waiting for her husband to reach out for Christ with her, or maybe she needed to see how Christ makes a difference throughout the years and not for just one moment in time. But, whatever the reasons, I was thrilled that she and Chaz now knew Christ personally.

Sophie and Chaz have become amazing Christians and have dedicated their lives to working for the Lord and to witnessing to others about Christ. They started by visiting the sick in the hospital and even going to help others in prison. They have also held Bible studies in their home on a regular basis. They have even gone on mission trips and have developed their own website devoted to spreading the word. Although this may not be the typical result of Christian mentoring, it is one example of how God can even use a disabled stay-at-home woman mentor to speak into the life of another woman and change the life of the mentee. Moreover, it is an example of how God can use Christian mentoring to change the lives of two individuals even though only one was actually being mentored. For, Christian mentoring can have a ripple effect as seen with Chaz. In fact, we may never know in this life the number of lives affected by our simple willingness to mentor even just one individual.

This one example of Active Relational Christian Mentoring shows us how Christian mentoring can be a great way to share the Gospel message. But it all starts with love . When one of the scribes asked Christ what the greatest commandment was, Christ said, The most important commandment is this: Hear O Israel! The Lord our God is the One and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these (Mark 12:2931).

In order to mentor another woman, we have to love her as our self. We have to be willing to give of ourselves. This means that we have to give of our time and energy to help, share, support, or comfort another woman. Certainly, we cant just say that we will be there for someone and then ignore her when she has a need. That is not showing Christian love.