Marco Walder - Lets Stay Together: The Untold Chronicles

Lets Stay Together

The Untold Chronicles

Marco Walder, M.Ed.

Marco Walder

P.O. Box 540861

Grand Prairie, TX 75054

www.marcowalder.com

Printed in the United States of America

2017 by Marco Walder. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Library of Congress Catalog Data: Walder, Marco

ISBN: 978-0-9854826-2-6 (sc)

This book is designed to provide information in regard to the subject matter. The author or publisher does not guarantee any benefits by the purchase or use of the material contained within. In an effort to be as accurate and complete as possible, please understand that errors may exist. Therefore, this publication should be used as a reference guide. The author or publisher assumes no liability or responsibility to any person or entity with regard to any loss, damage or any result alleged directly or indirectly to the information contained in this book.

I would like to first thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for giving me the vision, motivation, and inspiration to create this writing. Without the support of my family and friends none of this could have been possible.

I would also like to thank Lamia Ashley for her editing assistance and guidance. Thank you to all of those who have supported me and my movement as I aim to bring peace and love to the forefront of todays society by leading, sharing, and teaching love one heart at a time.

The first step to making someone else happy; Is to first master how to make yourself even happier.

- Marco Walder

As I sat and reflected on everything that I did not include in my first book, Lets Stay Together Dating Made Simple I became excited. I felt I needed to bring my readers into the life and times of my dating and relationship experiences.

The Untold Chronicles are unique because I have never been more transparent in my life, as many of these situations I personally encountered.

Many of these situations that you will read about have stirred and moved me to continue my search for a lifetime love. Other stories that I have comprised and included stem from the encounters of others. Each individual chapter is designed to provide you with confirmation and a heartfelt meaning that will allow you to flourish. I do not proclaim to be a relationship expert or guru.

However, the words on these pages will mentally stimulate your inner thoughts and provide you with a better external experience with the hopes to uplift you as we continue to orchestrate the message of having a lifetime of love.

Chapter 1

Emotional Intelligence

The True Essence of Conversation

Have you ever said something to someone and later wished you could take it back? Are you one who often finds yourself referring to common phrases used by society, such as: it is what it is or we can just agree to disagree? Maybe you have been in a discussion and just shut down because you felt the other person just was not trying to understand your perspective of a situation. If so, you are at the right place, so get comfy because after you read this article you will never look at daily conversations the same way again.

Do you remember a parent, mentor or teacher saying, and think before you speak? Or how about, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Definitely, let us not forget - actions speak louder than words. We have lived to learn that words can do just as much harm to a person as actions can. All of those phrases deal with ones EI better known as, Emotional Intelligence.

The term was coined by Salovey and Mayer (1990) as they updated Thorndikes term, social intelligence by coining the term emotional intelligence as a label for skills that include awareness of self and others and the ability to handle emotions and relationships.

Interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are vital because personal relationships are the central element of daily life. Many efforts to change fail; not because a persons intention during the conversation is incorrect or insincere, but because the other person may be unable to handle the delivery, the social and personal challenges this change may bring or simply just cannot handle the truth.

Nevertheless, during conversation, both parties must be aware of their own EI. There are four dimensions of emotional intelligence. Two are internal (self-awareness and self-management) and two external (social awareness and relationship management). Self-awareness includes awareness of ones feelings and ones impact on others. Self-management includes a number of positive, psychological characteristics. Among them: emotional self-control, authenticity, adaptability, drive for achievement, initiative and optimism. Social Awareness includes empathy, (attunement to the thoughts and feelings of others), organizational awareness (sensitivity to the importance of relationships and networks) and commitment to service.

The fourth characteristic: relationship management, includes inspiration, influence, developing others, catalyzing change, managing conflict and teamwork. In part one of this two-part series, we will focus on the two internal dimensions of EI Self Awareness and Relationship Management.

Self-Awareness - could be the difference between saving a marriage and destroying a marriage.

It could be the difference between enhancing a relationship and dissolving a relationship.

Either way, being able to understand how, when, and where you say something to someone can impact their feelings. It could provide you with a better opportunity to be understood, appreciated and respected.

In many daily conversations, people allow emotions to play a huge role in how they communicate with others. The phrase, think before you speak really means think before you speak. Often you hear people say they are just keeping it real, which is great, yet try to think about the other persons feelings before you begin to keep it real. This is done by taking time to evaluate your thoughts and compose them mentally before you express them verbally. Be mindful that many people have vices and insecurities that may cause them to take something you felt was stated innocently and with their best interest in mind negatively. Instead of saying, shut up try saying, can we discuss this later? I am really not up to it right now. To some, this may sound as a passive approach, yet this approach warrants a feel of calmness, self-control and awareness. This could in turn provide you with an answer of understanding and compromise. So make the small investment and think before you speak.

Self-Management focuses on several different elements, yet we will only discuss emotional self-control. Emotional self-control simply means being able to understand ones feelings in order to redirect any negative action or reaction that could be applied to a situation. In other words, police yourself.

Many times we allow our emotions to take over and dictate a response we really did not mean to give. Try to gain control of yourself and your emotions before verbally communicating if possible.

This may be a huge task for many, yet those who learn not to add gasoline to a fire and instead apply water to condense the flame will have less burned bridges and victims.

Chapter 2

You Cannot Change My Mind

No matter what you say, you cannot change my mind! Have you ever met one of these individuals? Have you had those days when you felt like no one could change your position on something you felt strongly about, until we actually listened to an individual who may have showed us a better way to experience success and it worked?