Contents
HE WALKS WITH ME, AND HE TALKS WITH ME
Charleston, SC
www.PalmettoPublishing.com
He Walks With Me, and He Talks With Me
Copyright 2021 by Greg Henkel
All rights reserved
No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any meanselectronic, mechanical,
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First Edition
Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-68515-984-9
Paperback ISBN: 978-1-68515-983-2
eBook ISBN: 978-1-68515-985-6
Table of Contents
I died for your sins. |
ME: | Im sorry, Jesus, didnt you die a while back? |
JESUS: | Yes, but I took all of your sins with me. |
ME: | Before they even happened? |
JESUS: | Yes. |
ME: | I worked hard for those sins, what do I get? |
JESUS: | (Sighs.) God's unconditional love. |
ME: | Is there a hot chick, Jesus? |
JESUS: | No. |
ME: | Okay, what if I take all my sins back? Theyre my sins. |
JESUS: | It doesnt work that way. |
ME: | So all my sins are forgiven, even sins I havent yet committed? |
JESUS: | Dont get smart. Just because all your sins havent yet been committed, that doesnt mean that you have to commit them. |
ME: | But what if I commit a sin without knowing it's a sin? |
JESUS: | Youre covered. |
ME: | What if I dont want to commit any more sins? |
JESUS: | Fine. |
ME: | Any chance of a smoking hot Daughter of God? I might be more receptive. |
JESUS: | No. You got to dance with who brung you. |
ME: | Didnt you come back to life? |
JESUS: | Yes, on the third day. |
ME: | So it takes three days to become a zombie? |
JESUS: | There arent any zombies. |
ME: | Sounds like your dad's falling down on the job. Maybe we should have an eighth day of creation. |
JESUS: | Even if there were an eighth day of creation, zombies wouldnt be involved. |
ME: | Thanks for walking through all this. Give my best to the Holy Ghost, and see if your dad is ready to immaculately conceive a smoking hot daughter, because then youd get a lot more man attention. |
JESUS: | Look, I took all your sins because that's my job. Dont push your luck. |
ME: | Thanks, Jesus! (Pets cat.) |
ME: | Hi, Jesus, I took a break from our talks yesterday. I was just worn out. |
JESUS: | You can be worn out and still find guidance with me. That's kinda what I do. |
ME: | Yeah, I know that but I got tired of typing out our conversations on my cell phone. |
JESUS: | Youre not built to type on a cell phone all the time. Youre actually better suited to helping others. |
ME: | Im helping the cats. |
JESUS: | Good. |
ME: | Im helping the folks around me. |
JESUS: | Also good. |
ME: | Do you remember the old television program Rawhide? |
JESUS: | Of course. |
ME: | Did you know that you can just replace all the lyrics in the theme song with your name? |
JESUS: | Yes. |
ME: | (To the tune of Rawhide): |
Je-sus, Je-sus, Je-sus |
Je-sus, Je-sus, Je-sus |
JE-SUS, JE-SUS, JE-SUS. J E S U S! |
JESUS: | I know the song. |
ME: | These things pop into my head. |
JESUS: | Thank your parents for your music education. |
ME: | For sure. Are they with you guys up in Heaven? They were looking forward to that. |
JESUS: | Yup. Theyre both here along with your brother, and all the pets you had over the years. |
ME: | Oooooh, is Mom's cat there? |
JESUS: | Yup. |
ME: | How about the dachshund? |
JESUS: | Yup. |
ME: | How about the tabby cat? |
JESUS: | Your dad had to weigh in on that one, but he made the cut. |
ME: | Thanks for that. |
JESUS: | How are you coming along with the Beatitudes? |
ME: | I think Im getting better with that. How's your dad and the Holy Ghost? |
JESUS: | Ineffable. Theyre doing fine. |
ME: | Thanks, Jesus, Im glad we talked today. |
JESUS: | Of course! Im always here. |
ME: | Thanks, Jesus! (Pets cat.) |
JESUS: | Hey, just checking in. |
ME: | Hi, Jesus. |
JESUS: | What's going on? |
ME: | Awww, Im supposed to start the conversation so we know it's a willing dialogue. |
JESUS: | Sometimes you need a jumpstart. Were both pretty clear that your free will is intact. |
ME: | Thanks, Jesus, Im just uninspired. |
JESUS: | Inspiration is my bag, baby! What are you seeking? |
ME: | I dont know. World peace? |
JESUS: | Were working on that. It's too big for you to tackle alone. |
ME: | Covid19? |
JESUS: | Part of the plan. |
ME: | I think Im just bored right now. |
JESUS: | What about service to others? |
ME: | My neighbor wants me to fix the brakes on his car. |
JESUS: | Then do that. Youll get inspired soon enough. |
ME: | Thanks, Jesus. How's your dad? |
JESUS: | All-powerful and benevolent! |
ME: | How about the Holy Ghost? |
JESUS: | Still part of the Trinity. |
ME: | Im glad to hear that. (Pets cat.) |
ME: | Hey, Jesus! |
JESUS: | Well, good morning. You seem to be in a good mood today. |
ME: | I am. I want to thank you and the other Trinities for a lovely day! |
JESUS: | Sounds like youre making progress. Gratitude is part of a healthy lifestyle. |
ME: | I guess Im starting with gratitude. It's working better than starting with worry and selfishness. |
JESUS: | Wow, youre turning into a philosopher. |
ME: | Ive had good teachers. |
JESUS: | Kant? Lao Tzu? Clausewitz? |
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