S. Michael Wilcox - Twice Blessed: The Beauty of Forgiving and Forgiveness

2016 S. Michael Wilcox

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher, Deseret Book Company, P. O. Box 30178, Salt Lake City, Utah 84130. This work is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The views expressed herein are the responsibility of the author and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church or of Deseret Book Company.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Wilcox, S. Michael, author.

Title: Twice blessed : the beauty of forgiving and forgiveness / S. Michael Wilcox.

Description: Salt Lake City, Utah : Deseret Book, [2016] | 2016 | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016012646 | ISBN 9781629721828 (hardbound : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: ForgivenessReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. | ForgivenessReligious aspectsMormon Church.

Classification: LCC BX8643.F67 W55 2016 | DDC 234/.5dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016012646

Printed in the United States of America
Edwards Brothers Malloy, Ann Arbor, MI

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Book design 2016 Deseret Book Co.

Art Direction: Richard Erickson

Design: Heather G. Ward

Cover photo: Konstanttin/shutterstock.com and Carlos Caetano/shutterstock.com

To Laurie
For all she forgave

Contents

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful....
Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Give, and it shall be given unto you;
good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.

Luke 6:3638

The Most Important Words

I was once very earnestly asked, What are the three most important phrases a person can say? The question came with such intensity that I paused before giving my reply. I assumed the phrases would also be the three most important ones to hear . Maybe it was a trick question, but it was intriguing enough for me to give some serious thought. I hope I answered correctly. There are certain things we all need to say, to hear, to feel, to know deep down at the souls center point as critically as we require the Spirits continuing soft assurances that testify of the gospel, Its still true. There are certain assurances that are essential to our souls well-being, perhaps even more crucially so than the calm whisperings of truth that still our hearts and minds of doubts and anxieties. This is a book about one of them.

We never get tired of hearing the grand three. And we will never reach the point when we need not express them ourselves. We benefit equally in saying and hearing them. We require them daily, both on the receiving and the giving end. They are part of a healthy soul. I doubt there is much joy in life without them. Their articulation or acknowledgement alone is not enoughthey must be felt along the bones and in the veins, wrapped in the warm security of sincerity. They make the mortal journey, with all its uncertainties, dilemmas, disappointments, as well as joy-filled elations, into something understandablebearableenjoyableeducative. Each can be stated in three words. They are all so very simple, so plain, that their very obviousness can diminish their necessity, and we may begin to take them for granted. We may say, Oh, Ive heard all that before. Yet, we would do well to pause and consider their importance.

Here are the three phrases with which I answered the question: I love you. I appreciate you. I forgive you. To these three ideas we add accompanying words to suit each circumstance in our lives. Love/compassion, appreciation/gratitude, and forgiveness/mercy are all directed toward people, family, humanity, ourselves, and the Divine. They are health and they are healing. They carry with them a natural desire to be expressed. Failure to communicate them usually results in their diminishment. A person with love, gratitude, or forgiveness in his or her heart wants earnestly for the recipient of those feelings to know the sentiments exist. That is one of the ways we know we truly feel them. Over the years I have come to realize that these three sentimentslove, gratitude, and forgivenessconstitute the major themes of scripture and of revealed truth. Almost every story in and out of the scripturesstories from Genesis to the classics of great literaturecenter on them. They are lifes meaning fulfilled. They are interrelated and somewhat inseparable.

I suppose that in many ways they are overused at the surface level and have somewhat lost their power. The word love , for instance, is used to describe our feeling for everything from a slice of pizza to a fashion in clothing to a current TV show. Even our national day of gratitude now seems embarrassingly stuck between Halloween and Christmas.

Gratitude and adoration, love and affection we will leave for another time, but let us move a little deeper into the subject of forgiveness and see what we can discover. Of all the gospels graces, forgiveness is closest to the Divine heart. There is nothing so fair and beautiful as forgiveness. All the great conflicts of the world have been intensified and passed on to following generations because earlier ones would not forgive. That is a tragic inheritance. Would it not be better to live in the home called Forgiveness and never depart?

This is not a book about repentance. That is a topic for its own house, and though forgiveness and repentance are deeply intertwined, we will try to stay focused on the former. There are times when forgiveness is offered or even required before repentance, and for our own spiritual health it must exist independent of anothers position or actions. One of the most beautiful examples of this is our Saviors plea from the cross, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). This was offered not after the cruelty of crucifixion, but during the very act of the mocking soldiers and gathered crowds. We certainly would not wish to diminish the pillar of repentance in the gospels temple. I sense in reading Almas magnificent desire to be an angel and cry repentance to every people that the concept was one of wonder and beauty to him; however, I believe that desire was centered on what would arise out of the change of heart his cry would bring, and that outcome was mercy, healing, and peaceforgiveness.

The Mansion of Forgiving

Upon crossing the threshold of Mercys Mansion, almost immediately we see several doors inviting us to ponder what lies behind them, for forgiveness has many rooms within its walls. As I have grown older, some of the rooms have surprised me. Of course they are rooms in the mansion of my own mind and may not have as much relevance to you, but I suspect most are universal. In these quarters I have sat and pondered and reflected. In almost all of these rooms I have experienced failure as well as memorable moments of peace, joy, and wonder.

Let us open some of the doors of these rooms. I have chosen just a few as indicative of the splendor of the whole house. In one we encounter family members, in another our fellow man. In one we sit alone with ourselves. In one the deepest wounds need to be faced. In them all we sense the continual presence of Divinity. We wander down the corridors of the mansion and look at the words above each door. Clothed in Eden, This Thy Brother, Seven Times in a Day, Bruised Reeds, Bury Your Weapons, When the Soul Is Pierced. Within the rooms we learn of such things as coming near, releasing the debtor, seeing the woman, the winking God, taking accounts, and pink people. We sense that sooner or later we will know each rooms brightly lit hearths and furnishings. There is also one room we may hesitate to enter because it seems such a contradiction. It is a room we may never personally face but will still enter because so very many do. Here we read the words, Is There No Pity? Those who wait in this room struggle to understand or even forgive God (if such a thing is not a contradiction) and the worlds cruelties. Through all these rooms we learn the lessons first promised in Eden, and our souls expand with the warmth and light of compassion.