Robert Jeffress - When Forgiveness Doesnt Make Sense

W HEN F ORGIVENESS D OESN T M AKE S ENSE
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
A division of Random House Inc.

Some of the stories in this book are composites of several different situations; details and names have been changed to protect identities.

Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1973, 1975, 1977. Also quoted is The Living Bible, copyright 1971, Tyndale House Publishers, and the King James Version ( KJV ). Scripture quotations marked ( NIV ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Any italics in Scripture quotes are the authors.

eISBN: 978-0-307-83068-5

Copyright 2000 by Robert Jeffress

Published in association with Sealy M. Yates, Literary Agent, Orange, California.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of The Doubleday Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Jeffress, Robert, 1955
When forgiveness doesnt make sense / Robert Jeffress 1st ed.
p. cm.
1. ForgivenessReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4647.F55J44 2000
234.5dc21
99-059441

v3.1

F OR MY UNCLE , J IM F IELDER ,
who continues to be a source of strength and
encouragement for our family

No book (at least one worth reading) is a solo effort. I am indebted to a number of people for their partnership in this effort, including

Dan Rich, Steve Cobb, and the team at WaterBrook Press for your enthusiasm for this project from the beginning.

Thomas Womack for your assistance in skillfully crafting this manuscript into its final form.

The many other authors who have provided grist for this writers mill. I am particularly grateful for the writings of Lewis Smedes, whom I quote throughout the book. While I have attempted to footnote every idea and quote that was not my own, I am sure I have failed. If any author has been slighted, please forgive me.

My friends and agents Sealy Yates and Tom Thompson for their encouragement through the years.

The members of First Baptist Church, Wichita Falls, Texas, for your enthusiastic response to the ideas presented in this book and your love for your pastor.

And most of all, my family Amy, Julia, and Dorothy for constantly extending forgiveness to a flawed husband and imperfect dad, who loves you dearly.

When Jerry Fuller came to see me, he felt like the worlds biggest fool. Everyone on the planet it seemed everyone except Jerry had known that his wife, Misty, was sleeping with his best friend, Phil.

Phil and Jerry had been college roommates and later had started a software consulting firm together. They each married within a few months of one another, and during those first years Jerry and Misty spent several nights a week with Phil and Heather doing everything from addressing advertising flyers to catching a cheap movie at the local dollar theater. Jerry wasnt alarmed to see Misty laughing at Phils jokes more than his own. In fact, he was grateful that his wife and his best friend appeared to enjoy each other so much.

Now, years later, the couples still got together frequently. But one night something happened that awakened Jerrys suspicions. As they made their way to their seats at a Christian concert, he noticed how Misty made a point of making sure she was seated next to Phil. Throughout the concert she and Phil kept whispering and snickering.

What was the deal with you and Phil tonight? Jerry inquired on the ride home, not even trying to hide the edge in his voice.

Nothing, Misty answered matter-of-factly. Weve always thought the same things were funny, thats all.

Over the next several weeks, Jerry became more aware of irregularities that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. Sometimes when he would return home early, Misty would abruptly end the phone conversation with Sorry, Jerrys home, gotta go. Increasingly, when Jerry answered the phone, the other party would quickly hang up. And then there were Mistys unexplained absences in the evening. Sometimes the phone would ring and Misty would race to answer it. After only a few seconds of conversation, Misty would suddenly remember something I need at the store and be gone for several hours.

It was one of those evenings that finally brought everything to a head. After a brief call, answered before a first full ring, Misty announced, Im running over to Heathers to give her some ideas on her redecorating project. When the minutes turned into several hours, Jerry called to check on Misty.

No, she hasnt been here all evening, Heather responded.

On a hunch, Jerry asked, Can I speak to Phil for a moment?

Youre out of luck tonight. Phils not here either. Hes at the office working late on the Laraby project.

After another hour Misty finally arrived home, mumbled a brief hello, and hurried upstairs to the bedroom. Jerry followed after her.

Where have you been all evening? I was worried about you. His tone betrayed his true feelings.

I told you, I went over to Heathers to help

Jerry cut her off. I called Heather and she said you werent there and neither was Phil. Are you and Phil having an affair?

After a silent moment, she began to cry softly. Jerry, Im so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. Phil and Heather were having trouble in their marriage, and he needed someone to talk to, and one thing led to another and soon. Oh, Jerry, Im so sorry. How will you ever be able to forgive me?

In a strange way, Jerry was more relieved than outraged by his wifes confession. Not that he wasnt angry and hurt by the betrayal of the two people closest to him. But just as the survivors of terminally ill patients often do their grieving long before the funeral, Jerry had spent the last several weeks troubled over his growing suspicions. Now that everything was out in the open, he and Misty could begin the healing process. Out of sheer will power Jerry uttered the next sentences.

Misty, theres no way I could ever describe to you how much this hurts me. To think of you cheating on me is bad enough but with my best friend! I doubt Ill ever get over this completely. But I do love you and believe that God brought us together. I really want to try and salvage our marriage.

Misty didnt utter a word. Maybe, Jerry thought, she was so overwhelmed by his vote of confidence in the relationship that she was speechless. So he continued with increasing conviction.