Rodney Smith - Lessons from the Dying

LESSONS FROM THE DYING

DEATH AND DYING / BUDDHISM

WHAT CAN DEATH TEACH THE LIVING?

HOSPICE WORKER AND FORMER MONK RODNEY SMITH teaches us that through intimately considering our own inevitable end we can reawaken to the sublime miracle of life we so often take for granted.

A well of stories, personal anecdotes, and direct advice gleaned from years of working with the dying in their final moments, Lessons from the Dying helps us redefine our conception of what it means to truly live. Guided reflections and exercises allow us to integrate the wisdom in its pages more fully into our lives. With a sense of compassion, Lessons from the Dying provides all the tools of mind one needs to rediscover, in this very moment, the mystery and wonder of a lifetime.

Rodneys profound dedication to the truth shines through in the text, the stories, the reflections, and the exercises.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness

Many will find Smiths heartfelt exploration of the human spirit intriguing and comforting. The book is not so much about dying, but how to live fully, embracing the inevitability of change and loss.

Todays Librarian

This book is a wise and gentle reminder of what faces us all, a reminder that death is the great mystery that illuminates life.

Joseph Goldstein, author of A Heart Full of Peace

A personal and heartfelt exploration of the human spirit and our inevitable encounter with death.

Joan Halifax, coauthor of Being with Dying

RODNEY SMITH worked for over seventeen years in the field of hospice care and is the founding and guiding teacher of the Seattle Insight Meditation Society. He lives in Seattle, WA.

Praise for Lessons from the Dying

Smith communicates such a deep trust in death that we, too, as readers, start to regard death as a friend.

Inquiring Mind

Schooled in Buddhist meditation, Rodney brings clarity and a straightforward approach to these lessons, making them quite practical for the deepening of the mind as well as the broadening of the heart. He offers to the dying first, and the rest of us by association, an increase in loving presence.

Stephen Levine, author of Who Dies?

Lessons from the Dying is rooted in simple experience and keeps coming back persistently to the wisdom the dying have for us.

Tricycle: The Buddhist Review

A valuable collection of stories and meditations. These are not just lessons from the dying; they are lessons for the living. A book that can prepare us for our inevitable encounter with death.

East & West Series

Smith writes compellingly on the nature, value, and connection between life and death. The dying have much to teach us about the manner in which we could begin to live our lives anew. This book is an eloquent, sensitive testimony by an individual who has deeply considered this important, life-altering event.

The Beacon

Full of gems. One of the best books on death and dying I have had the chance to read.

The Great Adventure

In this extraordinary volume, Rodney Smith opens our hearts, minds, and souls to the great mystery we all must face.

Values & Visions

Wisdom Publications

199 Elm Street

Somerville, MA 02144 USA

www.wisdompubs.org

1998, 2015 Rodney B. Smith

Passage on p. 24 printed with the permission of Simon & Schuster from Journey to Ixtlan by Carlos Castaneda. Copyright 1972 by Carlos Casteneda.

Epigraph on p. 7 from Take a Giant Step by Gerald Goffin and Carole King. EMI Music Publishing. Sung by Taj Mahal on The Best of Taj Mahal. 1981 CBS Inc.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system or technologies now known or later developed, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Smith, Rodney (Teacher)

Lessons from the dying / Rodney Smith ; foreword by Joseph Goldstein.2 [edition].

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 1-61429-194-2 (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. DeathReligious aspects. 2. Hospice careReligious aspects. I. Title.

BL504.S65 2015

202.3dc23

2014016553

ISBN 9781614291947 ebook ISBN 9780861718917

19 18 17 16 15 5 4 3 2 1

Cover design by Phil Pascuzzo. Interior design by Gopa&Ted2, Inc.

Contents

Rehearse death. To say this is to tell a person to rehearse his freedom. A person who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.

SENECA, Letters from a Stoic

IN Lessons from the Dying, Rodney Smith makes a meaningful offering to all of us interested in freedom. Drawing on an unusually rich array of experience, Rodney clearly elucidates the wisdom drawn from both his years as a Buddhist practitioner and monk and his long involvement in the hospice movement. Each of these deep wellsprings of his life enriches the other and finds expression in this helpful and inspiring book.

Lessons from the Dying could also be called lessons for the living because of the courageous honesty revealed in so many of the stories told here. These accounts reflect back to us our own attitudes toward death and love, and they prompt us to examine the way we are living our lives right now. In the busyness of our lives we rarely take the time to consider our mortality and the implications that it might have for the choices we make. Yet when we do cultivate this awareness it becomes a powerful force for wise discrimination.

Reflections on death are a transforming part of spiritual practice in many different traditions. These meditations remind us that life is transient and that, in the end, there is nothing we can hold on to, or truly call our own, except for the effects of our own actions. Our lives grow shorter, all accumulation ends in dispersion, all meetings in separation. Given these truths, at the time of death what would we most want to have accomplished in our lives? The time to ask this question is now, so that we can bring the wisdom of our values to bear on how we choose to live.

Rodney skillfully guides us through the subtleties and nuances of our own assumptions, hopes, and fears. He shows the possibility of living and dying with an open heart. Lessons from the Dying is a wise and gentle reminder of what faces us all, a reminder that death is the great mystery that illuminates life.

Joseph Goldstein

OCCASIONALLY PEOPLE APPEAR in our lives who lead us deeper into the mystery of life. Two such friends helped me open the door to death and dying. Once opened it has never closed. One was Marion Wilson, my first hospice director and a person who trusts totally in her heart and would never allow me to forget my own. The second was Paula Paust, my first director of social services. With Paula, it was like being on a journey with your best friend. We kept each other on our edge. We had countless discussions around all aspects of death and dying as we endlessly pursued the unknown.

My teachers of self-awareness are too many to list. To all I bow deeply with boundless gratitude. Special thanks to Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, and Jack Kornfield who encouraged this work to completion.

A special thanks to Laura Croft and Tom Joyce who labored long and hard making important suggestions and editing this manuscript from beginning to end. Much gratitude to the following friends who helped throughout the project: Ellen McCown, Kody Janney, Eunice Nakao, and Roy Tribelhorn.