Deborah James - F*** You Cancer: How to Face the Big C, Live your Life, and Still be Yourself

You are stronger than you know, more positive than you ever thought and you can still LIVE with cancer.

Drink more green juices, eat turmeric, walk for three hours a day Arghh, I wanted to scream, run away and tell every well-meaning person to go and do one!! The barrage of cure cancer advice that came my way when I was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer was enough to make anyone feel overloaded, let alone at a time when you are trying to get your head around having the Big C at the age of 35! I wanted hope and I wanted to feel normal, to drink wine, buy nice shoes and go to the pub but all the advice I came across told me to cut out pretty much everything and retreat into my cancer cave.

Whilst this book doesnt advocate throwing everything down the kitchen sink, it will help you to navigate your feelings through the big C roller coaster, remind you that its ok to feel one hundred different things in the space of a minute and most importantly show you that you can still live your life and be yourself with cancer.

From diagnosis (welcome to the club you never wanted to join) and surviving chemo through to how to cope with family and friends (can everyone just fuck off sometimes), managing the huge mental roller coaster, looking good (lipstick is your best friend) and feeling better (drink the wine), and celebrating milestones (drink more wine), F*** You Cancer is your up-lifting cancer coach in a book.

Packed with top tips, laugh out loud stories, insider advice and heart-warming case studies it will transform your mood and encourage you to shout #fuckoffcancer as loudly as you can!

Deborah James was a deputy head teacher leading national research teams into growth mindsets in schools. Then, in 2016, at the age of 35, she was diagnosed with bowel cancer and her life with her young children and husband was thrown upside down. Shes had 4 major operations including bowel and lung resections and multiple rounds of chemo and is still undergoing treatment at the Royal Marsden. Rather than disappear into a cancer cave she started a blog, bowel babe to debunk the myth that young women dont get bowel cancer and writes a weekly column for the Sun online, Things Cancer Made Me Say. She campaigns alongside major UK cancer charities, writes and presents the popular podcast You, Me & the Big C for BBCs Radio 5 Live, and has a built up a strong following on Instagram @bowelbabe.

For Hugo and Eloise

No time to turn at Beautys glance, And watch her feet, how they dance.

A poor life this is if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

I TOO WAS surprised that the cancer came first. Ive had a few of those moments of blindsided panic in my life, but of all my obsessive, compulsive fears, I never thought this one would be my reality. It feels clichd to write, but the day I was diagnosed with cancer is the day my world stopped still. Perhaps you are reading this because yours has too? Life as I knew it would never be the same, and if you have joined the cancer club, a club you never wanted to be part of, be prepared for a bumpy ride. Im not going to lie: no one ever said it was going to be easy, and it isnt, but I hope to share with you some golden nuggets of advice and top tips from the front line. Some say that there is a power in three. The romantic in us goes weak when presented with I love you, is humbled by I forgive you and scared to the point of no return when hearing You have cancer. You may feel right now that your worst fear has lifted off a page and been brought to life, and you might not know how to put one foot in front of the other, let alone get your head around the idea of surgery or chemo. And Ive been there hell, Im there right now, writing this not knowing what my next plan of action is, or what my pesky tumours are deciding to do. But the point is Im finding my own way with wine and high heels, shouting Fuck you cancer as loud as I can as I prepare for yet another lung operation. Its not easy, and I dont know what my future holds, but I do know that when the big C enters, you can, with the right mindset, face it, live your life and still be yourself!

So, Ive written this book to help you navigate the cancer rollercoaster in the knowledge that you are not alone. That its okay to have good days, bad days and everything in between, and that all those feelings you are experiencing are part of the ride, however crazy they may seem. But Im going to give you a spoiler. Im sorry to disappoint but I dont know the cure for cancer. I cant tell you if eating turmeric will help you, or doing 20 handstands a day will provide a cure. Trust me, I wish I knew.

But this is what I can tell you. Im an average 36-year-old married mum of two. I was ploughing through life as a deputy head teacher, doing the 12-hour working days, trying to juggle kids, husband, friends, keeping fit, having a laugh and getting some sleep. I was on autopilot my career took precedence, my relationships came last, dinner on the table would be considered a miracle and my kids gazed in disbelief if I ever actually turned up to something. I enjoyed the things many thirtysomethings do wine, clothes, gossip, sex. I complained about lack of shut-eye, worried I wasnt making it in my job, and was just about navigating the trials and tribulations that two crazy kids and full-time high-pressure jobs put on any marriage.

And then everything changed. On an idle Thursday, the week before Christmas, my worst nightmare became a reality. As I stared at my 6.5cm tumour during a colonoscopy, never did I realise more that the life I had been taking for granted would be the one thing I now desired above all else.

When I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, something only normally considered a possibility over the age of 60, my world spun out of control. As all cancer patients are, I was left to deal with a new life one where my daily goal was to live, to get up and fight cancer. But Im human. You cant jump from a regular life to one of just trying to keep your head above the water without feeling like you are drowning at times. I had an outpouring of love, support and well-wishes but I was fighting to stay afloat. I had to find my own way through and find an element of control on an unpredictable ride, especially as the goalposts kept changing. And you will have to as well.

You may meet lots of people who will tell you that remaining positive, cutting sugar, eating a raw food diet or paying hundreds of thousands of pounds for an unproven nutrient drip will rid you of the beast that is cancer. You can beat it theyll declare as you kindly hand over your hard-earned pennies in a quest for the holy grail of medicine. And perhaps it will work for you. Im not a doctor, or researcher, and Im not going to pretend Im an expert in the field, because quite frankly Ive met people who are and I feel totally humble in their presence. Ive seen scientists kill breast cancer cells under the microscope with chemotherapy, which I took great pleasure in watching, but Ive also listened to the brightest brains in the industry talk about just how clever even one little cell can be. If it wants to outsmart me or you it will it doesnt matter how big or strong or ugly we are.