Andre Medlock - 4ortyPlus: Pregnant after 40: The Process, The Challenges & The Birth

ISBN: 9781483524931

Chapters

Psalm 37:4

delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. (AMP)

Foreword:My beloved husband, the greatest gift that I could ever give to you is a child, your daughter. Ava Elizabeth. I love you.

DISCLAIMER: This book is not intended to give medical advice; it is an expression of our personal experiences in conceiving and having a child after the age of 40. You never know what God has in store for you!

Introduction:

This book gives insight from a Christian perspective of the joys and challenges of conception, pregnancy and childbirth after the age of 40. It will encompass our personal shared experiences of this process. This is a joint collaboration between my husband Andre and I in an attempt to share point of views from the wife's perspective as well as the husband's. It is intended to offer hope and encouragement to those couples whose desire is to have a child later in life. We decided to approach this subject by offering both the male and female perspective on this process which is unique because most of the material and information available on this subject only shares information from the female perspective, rarely do we see or hear about this process from a male perspective. Often times it is assumed that men do not have any emotions, thoughts or feelings concerning this topic, but as you will see Andre was very active in this process and has much to say. What you will see is that we both had our own individual experiences, some shared with the other and some not. So you are in your forties, you don't have any children but the desire is there or you and your spouse have been praying and trying to conceive and still no child? Or as in my case, you re-married.

You have been told that the odds of you getting pregnant decrease as you age, you are older and probably do not have any viable eggs left. The chances of you getting pregnant are diminishing. Don't be discouraged! If we had listened to the opinion of others concerning my age we would not have my beautiful Ava Elizabeth.

(Courtesy Of priceless photos.net)

Pregnancy in my 40's allowed me to get to a place where I was more stable mentally, physically and financially. I basically grew up. I am more mature, developed more patience and have a better understanding and appreciation of the gift of life. I believe that for most women life does not begin until the age of 40; at least it did for me. I met and married my soul mate, had his baby and moved into a beautiful new home to start our journey together. I am in the prime of my life and a new mommy again after 17 years! God shows favor because after all of the mistakes I have made as a parent, he entrusted me with the life of a little one, for the second time. I am so excited and honored to have this opportunity again. I am 46 years old with an 8 month old and a 17 year old.

Statistics:

If you look at the statistics and only the statistics, you will quickly see that the odds are stacked up against you in terms of the possibility of trying to conceive in your 40's. Most of the data shows the odds of this happening is slim to none. Here is a fact: From the time you reach puberty, with your eggs numbering between 300,000 and 400,000, you'll lose about 13,000 eggs a year. Over the years this steady drop in egg supply will leave you with about 25,000 eggs by age 37. (Age and Fertility: Getting pregnant in your 40's.The Baby Center, August 2011)

Many women are waiting until their 30s and 40s to have children. In fact, about 20% of women in the United States now have their first child after age 35. So age is a growing cause of fertility problems. About one-third of couples in which the woman is older than 35 years old have fertility problems. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (February 2013):

Aging decreases a woman's chances of having a baby in the following ways

Her ovaries become less able to release eggs

She has a smaller number of eggs left

Her eggs are not as healthy

She is more likely to have health conditions that can cause fertility problems

She is more likely to have a miscarriage

Below are a few of the statistics that we want to share with you concerning fertility and conception later in life:

There is a sharp decline in a woman's ability to achieve pregnancy over age forty. (Age and Fertility, Southern California Center for Reproductive Medicine, )

Estimates from embryo biopsy reveal that at least 90% of a woman's eggs are genetically abnormal when a woman is over 40. (Age and Fertility, Southern California Center for Reproductive Medicine, )

Complications of pregnancy that increase with age include elevated blood pressure, gestational diabetes, premature labor and bleeding disorders such as placental abruption. (Age and Fertility, Southern California Center for Reproductive Medicine )

Discouraging right? This is the information available to those of us who seek to find out more about conception and the possibilities that are available to those in their forties. With these statistics, who would want to run the risk of having one of these instances happen? With that news, 4orty Plus will strive to encourage, empower and enlighten you as we take you through our journey of pregnancy. Let us first give you a glimpse of who we are.

Chapter One

Our Mental State:

This chapter will give you an overview of our lives prior to marriage.

Wife: My mental state at the age of 42: I am Georgetta Medlock, at the time of meeting my husband; I was a 42 year old single mother raising a teenaged daughter, Gabrielle. At the time of meeting Andre, I had been divorced for at least 10 years or more, my daughter was then in her teen years and we were making our stand in the world. I had recently purchased my first home, had a great career and really excited about life. At that time I was not in a relationship but had dated before and was content with not really getting serious with anyone as my focus was raising my daughter. I had traveled both domestically and internationally, had a great core group of friends; I socialized and attended social gatherings just like any other single person. I had some life experiences under my belt (i.e. divorce, single mom). I was very active in church at the time serving in a leadership capacity. I had no idea at the time that I would meet, fall in love and marry my dearest and best friend, my biggest cheerleader, Andre. Andre and I met at a local church in Houston, Texas, where we both were members. Although I would see him nearly every Sunday, I was not in the mindset of dating, I was content, and we would speak and go about our day. We never really had much of a conversation for one another. It is so cute as I look back, because I remember him staring at me lots of times but never thought about it at the time. He was active as well serving in the church's Bookstore. I remember one particular Bible Study night, we had tables right across from each other because we both had assignments for our various ministries, I was at the table for the Women's Bible study and he was manning the table for the CD's, DVD's and Books, he would speak and just look but always the gentleman, never stepping out of line. My friends would notice, point it out to me and I would downplay it. I met Andre at a time when I was ok with life, so I had no intentions of getting married and definitely no thoughts of having another child. This was not in my plans, as far as I was concerned, I was done with that, but God said differently. Well Andre eventually asked me out on a date. Our first date was to a baseball game. We were inseparable, if you saw Andre, you saw me. We started attending church services together, me, Andre and Gabby, we were now officially "a couple" and all the buzz was around the church. It was a good time and I knew he was a good guy because as some of the older ladies began to find out that we were dating, they were so excited, almost beaming with excitement. We would spend an incredible amount of time together. Since I was a single mom, Andre was great at doing activities that included Gabrielle; we had game night and movie night. It helped in our bonding process and because Andre had recently purchased a home before we started dating his home was in close proximity to my home which helped in the bonding process. This was 2008. Andre had been married and divorced and I could never quite grasp that he did not have children. It is very unusual to find a single male in this day and time who did not have any children, he was a rare find. I remember one particular evening after having dinner; we had a conversation about children. I was caught off guard because Andre told me that he wanted to have children and if I was not open to it, then we could not continue to date. I told him that I was too old to have another child and his response was "who told you that you were too old to have a child?" Andre had always been of the mindset that age was just a number and that I should not buy in to what society says is "too old". We dated for a year and then married in August 2009, I was 42 years old. Our first year was a transition for all of us but we pulled through it. After marrying, we decided that we wanted to have a child together. It was after being married for a few months that I began to realize how badly he longed for a child. 40 Plus begins to take shape.