Paula Renaye - Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation

Praise for

Living the Life You Love

All the benefits of serious therapy in one book! Reading this book is like getting therapy from a top-notch therapist who has the guts to tell it like it is and the compassion to help you face your issues squarely and do something about them.

AMY WOOD, PSYD, author of Life Your Way

Whether youre working with a good therapist, on your own or in a study group, Living the Life You Love is a wonderful guide to self-transformation. Paula Renayes style is easy and comfortable, like a friend whos cheering you on, supportive but firm, as she guides you on the path of self-discovery. I highly recommend this book to those who are serious about transforming their lives.

MIMI LUPIN, MA, LPC, LSSP, founder of
Making the World a Better Place Foundation

Paula has written the quintessential manual for anyone who no longer wants to be a member of what I call the aint it awful club. This is the ticket to transformation for anyone who wants to transcend the fear and negativity that swirls around us and defy the fate of the Debbie Downers of the world. This book will help you dare to confront your angst, claim your heartfelt personal success in your bones and go after it with passion. It will dynamite out those villainous beliefs and paradigms that have been holding you back and let you finally take flight!

GAIL MCMEEKIN, LICSW, bestselling author of
The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women

The difference in living a life you love, one you just like or one you really regret is all just a matter of choice. Paula has offered up the perfect menu for living the life that you LOVE, and this book will be one of the best investments in your happiness you will ever make. You owe it to yourself to be your best. Do it!

KAREN MAYFIELD, bestselling author of Wake Up Women

The author uses terrific real-world examples to make her points. For those of us wanting something better and dont know how to get there, [this] would be an excellent first step.

ROBIN CAIN, Scottsdale Examiner

Paula Renaye challenges readers to face whats been holding them back, then provides practical self-discovery tools to move forward. If youre willing to do the work, this book lays out a path for rapid personal transformation.

RON CHAPMAN, MSW, author of Seeing True

From the front cover to the back cover, I knew that this book was going to be different than every other self-help book Ive read... and I was right! You cant help but be affected and moved by the mirror Paula puts in front of your face. And one of the most wonderful aspects is how she shares from her own life and draws the reader into believing that change, permanent, positive change, is possible. Change takes courage, determination and direction and this book is a blueprint for making those changes in your life!

DEIDRE HUGHEY, speaker and author of
I Am Bound and Determined

Everyone or anyone thinking about changing so that they can achieve the life that they want will benefit from this book. Empowerment practitioners, coaches and mentors as well as men and womenthe young and maturethinking about self-development would benefit from the knowledge and wisdom shared. It is a great resource.

DR. CHERYL V. COTTLE,
founder of CPC Women in Business

The highest calling we can have as human beings is to honor our hearts. This book is much-needed tough love for courageous transformation.

KAREN BARNETT-BOZEMAN, LCSW

Copyright 2012 Diomo Books. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used, reproduced, translated, electronically stored, or transmitted in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in their reviews.

For information, address:

Diomo Books
P.O. Box 21485
Hot Springs, AR 71903
E-mail:
www.diomobooks.com
www.paularenaye.com

For foreign and translation rights, contact Nigel J. Yorwerth.
E-mail: .

Distributed in North America by
SCB Distributors
15608 South New Century Dr., Gardena, CA 90248
www.scbdistributors.com

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012941122

ISBN: 978-0-9674786-9-2 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-0-9674786-8-5 (ebook)

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Cover design: Nita Ybarra
Interior design: Alan Barnett Design

The information and insights in this book are solely the opinion of the author and should not be considered as a form of therapy, advice, direction, diagnosis, and/or treatment of any kind. This information is not a substitute for medical, psychological or other professional advice, counseling or care. All matters pertaining to your individual health should be supervised by a physician or appropriate healthcare practitioner. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on behalf of any purchaser or reader.

For
Leah, Mitchell, Layna

PREFACE

Before you dive into the heart of Living the Life You Love, I have some no-nonsense suggestions regarding the people in your life youre closest toyour family and friends.

Those who genuinely care about you want you to be happy, they really do, but sometimes they dont know how to give you what you need when youre not. They may not always know the right or best things to say when youre going through a tough time or when youre trying to figure out what changes you need to make in your life. Sometimes, they may even want you not to change for their own reasons. Just the idea that you want things to be different can make them feel unsettled, fearful or even threatened in a we live the same life, why isnt it good enough anymore? sort of way. So, be aware and prepare ahead of time.

As you go through this self-discovery and transformation process, youre going to be taking a hard look at your core beliefsbeliefs you probably dont even realize you have. Many of us have some version of the Im not good enough or the Im unlovable belief that we need to work with in one way or another. The problem is that mostokay, probably allof these potential points of revelation have their roots in your upbringing and your family of origin. Consequently, though you may be thrilled to discover that the everybodys always out to get me belief has been holding you back, people whose worldview depends on that belief may not be. So, be very selective about who you discuss things with.

Gently make sure your friends understand youre not asking for their opinions, interpretations, advice, suggestions, solutions or admonitions right nowonly their positive support and encouragement.

When youre allowing your own truth to come up, hearing another persons view of it can be confusing, distracting and disempowering. As much as you may want to ask how you should answer a question or say, Please tell me what to do at timesdont. This is your journey and you will figure things out!

Coach your friends and family on what feels supportive and empowering to you during this important time. Just listening is great. Give them examples of comments that you would like to hear, such as It sounds like youre discovering a lot about yourself or Thats a really interesting way of looking at things or Im really glad youre doing this. These interactions may be a bit awkward at first, but once everyone gets comfortable with it, it will be a relief for youand themand it can help everyone not take things personally.