Dearbhla Kelly - Career Coach: A Step-by-Step Guide to Helping Your Teen Find Their Lifes Purpose

CONTENTS

Foreword

I remember being excited about the pending careers advice session at Hornchurch Grammar School. It was 1973 and I was 15. I sensed there must be a wonderful world of work opportunities and experiences available to me and my fellow students. I was looking forward to having a world of possibilities opened up to me.

I should have been suspicious. The session was going to be run by our physics teacher, Mr Jones. He seemed to be in his twenties, and had probably gone straight from studying to teaching. I had heard that he was newly married and needed to earn some more money by taking on the careers advice role too.

The session went something like this: Any questions? There are brochures here on careers in teaching and accounting. That was it! I left feeling less inspired than before I went in, but anxious now too, because everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to do.

My parents werent much help either. They said I could do whatever I liked and whatever I wanted to. But that was the problem I didnt know what I wanted to do! I wanted someone to inspire me, and open up the world to me. To get me excited, to ask me questions like, What do you feel you were born to do? What would inspire you? What would fulfil you? What is in your heart that wants to be expressed? What do you love deeply? What cant you stop doing?

But no one ever did ask me those questions. Luckily, I did begin to ask myself those questions over a decade later and eventually found what I was born to do, what truly inspires me and fulfils me. I wish there had been a Dearbhla around in 1973 for me, my parents and at my school, and I would have got there much quicker.

I first met Dearbhla in a conference room in Croke Park in Dublin in 2008, and we have been in touch ever since. I was immediately struck by two things: the twinkle in her eye and how much she cared about young people and helping them make inspired and empowered career choices.

I sensed an ambition born of inspiration and of a deep desire to contribute rather than a need for self-aggrandisement. She was a woman on a mission. I have seen Dearbhla stay committed in the long run, build and nurture relationships, seize opportunities when they arose and create opportunities when they didnt exist before.

This book is one of the many fruits of that perseverance and long-term commitment. She cares deeply about us being happy in our work and that we get to express the best of ourselves in what we do for a living.

Dearbhla understands the power and influence that family and friends have on teenagers career choices and decisions, even when those people dont realise the power they have. Dearbhla helps you realise that you do have a positive impact and shows how to use your influence to open hearts and minds, to open up possibilities to discover, and to nurture dreams. She knows that opportunity is an inside job, and whatever is going on in the economy, there are always tremendous possibilities and great hope. She makes the whole process of becoming a coach to teenagers understandable and doable. She believes in the resourcefulness of everyone. She knows that the desire to support and help needs to be matched with the skills of coaching, listening and validation in order to be effective. This book delivers those skills richly and abundantly.

Thank you, Dearbhla, for writing this book. So many lives are already richer because of you and your work and the gift of this book means that so many more lives will be enhanced too.

Nick Williams, London, March 2015 Author of nine books, including The Work We Were Born To Do, and founder of the Spiritual Pro Global Community www.iamnickwilliams.com

Introduction

The Golden Eagle

A man found an eagles egg and placed it under a brooding hen. The eaglet hatched with the chickens and grew to be like them. He clucked and cackled, scratched the earth for worms, flapped his wings and managed to fly a few feet in the air.

Years passed. One day, the eagle, now grown old, saw a magnificent bird before him in the sky. It glided gracefully and majestically against the powerful wind with scarcely a movement of its golden wings. Spellbound, the eagle asked, Who is that?

That is the king of the birds, said his neighbour. He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth were chickens.

So the eagle lived and died a chicken for thats what he thought he was.

ANTHONY DE MELLO, THE SONG OF THE BIRD

Your Role as Career Coach

Nowadays, due to the change in the economic climate, we are looking at a complete shift in the world of work. When people of my generation were growing up, lifetime employment and permanent pensionable posts were plentiful and offered guarantees. Today our young people are moving into a period of contractual work, less certainty, and a need for self-promotion and expertise. In short, they need to be their own leaders and manage their own careers.

In a recent survey of children in the UK, 92 per cent of the children polled said that parents were among their most important influences. Only five per cent would not consult their parents when making career decisions. (Source: GTI Media Research, Parental Influence on Childrens Academic and Employment Choices (2014).)

Because you have such a significant role to play in your teenager fulfilling their potential, it makes sense to be informed of practical ways to help your child take steps now towards a successful future. There are no shortcuts to discovering the work you were born to do. Helping your teen discover their calling or vocation in life requires many conversations and these conversations arent always straightforward. One day your teen wants to study medicine and the next she wants to be a deep sea diver! Teenagers career preferences can change according to what their friends are talking about doing, what colleges their friends are choosing, etc. This toing and froing can be a huge worry for parents and the process can last several years. This book will help you as a parent to engage fully with your teen in the present and show you ways to prepare together for whatever the future holds. Please keep in mind throughout this book that there are in schools professional guidance counsellors who are qualified sources of information on career choices. They are available to help your teen and may provide information evenings for parents on matters such as subject choice and the CAO. Encourage your teen to make an appointment and make use of this vital professional service. Guidance counsellors can also support students who have issues or concerns that are affecting their participation in school. If guidance is not available in your teens school, you might find it useful to consult a private practitioner; a list is supplied on the Institute of Guidance Counsellors (IGC) website, www.igc.ie.

This book will give you tools to guide your teen and help them voice their thoughts, opinions, concerns, dreams and excitement about their future. It will be a reference point over three to five years that will help you support and direct your teen in choosing a satisfying career. It will teach you practical ways to guide and motivate your teenager and it provides tasks and activities which you can do together. By working together, you can both develop the skills needed to help your child build a joyful career. My wish is that you will encourage your teen to stay true to their talents and to concentrate on the activities that bring them joy and energy even if it takes them along unconventional routes. Sometimes, your teen may have to take the scenic route to their career and to a slow-cooked success.