Gary Roe - Aftermath: Picking Up the Pieces After a Suicide

Table of Contents

PRAISE FOR Aftermath

I wish I had this resource five years ago. Aftermath provides exactly what is needed for family and friends who are grieving a suicide loss. These pearls of affirmation, encouragement and perspective lift the emotional fog and direct grievers towards healing.

Dr. Charles W. Page, MD,
author of A Spoonful of Courage for the Sick and Suffering ,
Podcast Host at www.drpagepodcast.com.

As the author says in Aftermath , suicide triggers a tsunami that threatens to sweep away everything in its path. The results can be devastating and debilitating. This book is sensitive and compassionate, and yet straightforward and thorough. Gary addresses the incredible tidal wave effect a single suicide death produces on the hearts, minds, souls, bodies, and relationships of family members, friends, and coworkers. Though the subject matter is incredibly heavy, Aftermath is an easy and practical read. Readers will find comfort, hope, and healing in its pages.

Paul Casale,
Licensed Mental Health Counselor,
Marriage & Family Therapist

Gary Roe has penned a masterpiece with his latest book Aftermath . After reading it, I found myself moved to tears. Tears of sorrow over the tragedy of suicide? Yes. But even more so, tears of relief and gratitude that the author has created a masterpiece for healing the hearts of so many devastated people who have been crushed by the suicide of a loved one. In this one edition, Roe answers so many questions that plague those left behind, and in so doing he draws upon his extensive experience with helping others grieve and recover. He combines practical advice and professional expertise along with heartfelt compassion and uncanny intuition to open a door to recovery for so many who are hurting. This book offers hope, healing, purpose, and inspiration. I strongly recommend Aftermath to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide and to anyone who has ever contemplated suicide. It will change your life forever. Simply put, Aftermath is a must read!

- Doug Vance, PhD,
President, Brazos Valley Coalition
on Suicide Prevention; President, Doug Vance Juvenile
Justice & Corrections Consulting Firm

Aftermath by Gary Roe is a must have in your library if you are a helper or have been touched by the tragic loss of suicide. The ongoing guilt expressed by survivors is described well on these pages as well as how to navigate this rocky road. Thank you for addressing an area of grief that is filled with guilt and shame.

- Carrie Andree Gardner,
Licensed Professional Counselor

Aftermath is a remarkable piece of writing. It thoroughly captures the comprehensive scope of the human experience and its collision with suicide. The authors authenticity is evident and will touch readers in a holistic way. Aftermath will certainly touch many hearts who hunger for hope and healing after a suicide death.

Dr. Craig Borchardt, PhD,
President & CEO, Hospice Brazos Valley;
Assistant Professor, Texas A&M College of Medicine

In Aftermath, Gary Roe offers hope, validation, acceptance, and an understanding of the aftermath that is the grief journey for someone whos loved one died by suicide. All too frequently, the stigma associated with suicide hinders ones ability to rebuild and recognize what is healthy (even if it is painful) in grief. Through the loving, straightforward, practical, and open style of Aftermath , the stigma is removed, and only hope and love remain.

Glen Lord, CEO, The Grief Toolbox;
President, Board of Directors, The Compassionate Friends.

Aftermath: Picking Up the Pieces After A Suicide

Copyright 2019 by Gary Roe All rights reserved. First Edition:

ISBN: 978-1-950382-21-7

Formatting: Streetlight Graphics

Published by: Healing Resources Publishing All Bible references are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The author is not engaged in rendering medical or psychological services, and this book is not intended as a guide to diagnose or treat medical or psychological problems. If you require medical, psychological, or other expert assistance, please seek the services of your own physician or mental health professional.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

-Henri Nouwen

Im hoping this book can be such a friend for you.

Please dont read it just once.

Come back to it again in six months or a year. Read it again.

Youll be at a different place and get different things the next time around.

Take your time. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself.

To be of further help, Ive prepared a free, printable download for you:

Healing Affirmations from Aftermath

https://www.garyroe.com/aftermath-affirmations

Dedication

To all those who have lost someone to suicide.

Your hearts deserve hope and healing.

It is my prayer that you find a little of both in these pages.

What This Book Is All About

So its true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.

- E.A. Bucchianeri

The loss of a loved one or friend is a terrible thing. Its painful, confusing, and can be traumatic. If the death is by suicide, the situation and our grief can be infinitely more complicated.

We have questions that may never be answered.

We have little to no closure. No chance to say goodbye. No final conversation. No final embrace, kiss, or touch before the event.

No opportunity, knowing that death was coming, to clear the air, ask and give forgiveness, or make amends. No final chances to work things out, ask questions, or process things together.

Over the past three decades, Ive had the honor of walking with thousands of wounded, hurting souls through the valley of grief as a friend, family member, pastor, and now hospice chaplain and grief specialist counselor. Ive learned that every heart and every loss is different. Suicide loss is in a class all by itself.

This death is different. It was a choice. The fact that someone chose to take their own life and leave us comes with a unique set of complicated emotions, frustrations, and challenges.

It is a death with powerful, ongoing ripple effects.

Why I Wrote This Book

Honestly, I didnt want to write this book.

Ive had many interactions with those who have experienced a suicide death. Many have asked me to write something specifically for them that addresses the unique and complicated nature of this kind of death and grief. But I was scared. Though my mom had attempted suicide when I was a teen, I had not personally experienced the suicide death of anyone close to me.

Then, over a two-year period, I officiated at more than a dozen suicide funerals in my community. Veterans, teens, successful businesspeople all well liked and loved. The youngest victim was 15. I was shaken.

As I listened to these families, my heart broke. The grief around me was deep, palpable, stunning. Suddenly it seemed I was bumping into suicide everywhere - in the news, on social media, in emails, and in everyday conversations.